匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 2 0 年前

英文笑話和歌曲......

哪裡有英文笑話和歌曲

簡短有內容就好

歌曲也是~

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5 個解答

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  • 匿名使用者
    2 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when

    all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver

    to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.

    About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle

    of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and

    torn. "What happened to you", asked Bill. "Well, the Farmer gave me the

    wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his 19 year old daughter made mad

    passionate love to me." "My God, what did you tell them", asks Clinton. The

    driver replies, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig".

    Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road

    one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.

    A six-year-old girl asks her mother, - "Mommy, how old are you?"

    The mother replies, - "Honey, that's a very personal question. You

    are not supposed to ask a woman her age."

    Then she asks, - " How much do you weigh?"

    The mother says, - "Honey, that is also a personal question. People

    don't want to be asked about their weight."

    The girl goes on, - "Mommy, why did you and daddy get a divorce?"

    The mother says, - "That's a very sensitive subject. When you are

    older, I'll tell you."

    The next day, the girl goes to the kindergarten and tells her friend

    about the conversation she had with her mother. Her friend says, -

    "That's easy!! Look at her driver's license. You can find all the

    information in there."

    So the girl finds her mother's driver's license in her purse, looks at

    it for a while, smiles big, and runs to her mother. - "Mommy, mommy, I

    know how old you are! You are 32! I know how much you weigh, too! You

    weigh 130 pounds! And I also know why you got a divorce! You got an

    "F" in sex! "

    A businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.

    He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow

    $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for

    such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on

    the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to

    accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into

    the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the

    businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to

    $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and

    this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While

    you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

    What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The businessman

    replied, Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"

    If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and

    start all over!

    To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a

    break from life, click on suspend.

    Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.

    To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.

    To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

    To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.

    If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

    When you loose your car keys, click on find.

    "Help" with the chores is just a click away.

    Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to

    recover from a crash.

    And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to

    YOU...

    A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and

    said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent

    over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back

    into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave

    you are and how you are my hero." The man took the frog out of his

    pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

    The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back

    into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an

    entire week."

    The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned

    it to his pocket.

    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

    princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.."

    Again, the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into

    his pocket.

    Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a

    beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do

    anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

    The man said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a

    girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.

    如果有看不懂ㄉ可以到這裡來翻譯喔http://dictionary.reference.com/translate/text.htm...

    還有好多呢 你可以到http://residence.educities.edu.tw/nkimtflc/classro... 因為那裡滴笑話超多 = =

    參考資料: 英文笑話
  • 匿名使用者
    7 年前

    瞭解一次、多一次的保障。尋找八大行業工作。必須謹慎小心一點。

    小巴常說:保險跟冒險只差一個字,意義卻是大不同!

    一通電話、一次詢問。都是為自己的著想。

  • 9 年前

    想學好英文又不想花很多錢

    加上我是夜校生又要打工~時間不穩定

    不可能上補習班

    所以我就查詢的有關英文的線上教學

    發現了這篇文章還不錯唷~

    http://pop01730.pixnet.net/blog/post/30463202

    只要填寫簡單問卷就能免費替自己的英文能力分級唷!!

    和完全免費的專業諮詢唷~

  • 匿名使用者
    2 0 年前

    小時候在補習班時老師說的冷笑話= =|||

    man: what's ur father's name?

    boy: my father's name is Laughing.

    man: (shock!) ....what's ur mother's name?

    boy: mother's name is Diverting

    man: ??....are you kidding???

    boy: no, Kidding is my sister, my name is joking!

    man: ....................

    參考資料: 記憶-.-
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  • 匿名使用者
    2 0 年前

    JOHNNY:DAD, I DON'T LIKE THE HOLES IN THIS CHEESE!

    DAD:THAT'S OK JOHNNY. JUST EAT THE CHEESE AND LEAVE THE HOLES ON THE SIDE OF YOUR PLATE.

    參考資料: MY TEXTBOOK
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