匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請大家幫我批改 謝謝

What kind of music I like to listen?

Now in the change world. Everything is changing all the time. Especially the music. Listen the relax music can make our mind clearly and comfortable. When I was a child I always use the headphone to listen the music because if I turn volume too loud my mother will fight me so I use it. Then I haven’t to care the voice will disturb my mother or not. The kind of music I like best is the Hip-hop music. The reason why I like the hip-hop music is the lyrics of the song is meaningful and the rhythm make me excited. When I listen the hop-hop music my body is want to move. Music can comfort people I think it’s such a miracle

請幫我修改

而且指出問題在那裡

該如何改進

謝謝

實在感激不盡...

5 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    我不幫你改寫,先退到底線,分句訂正文法錯誤,這樣你才能學得快。

    What kind of music I like to listen?

    Now in the change (change為動辭原型需加 -ing 成為分詞以修飾 world) world. (in 引導的副詞子句,不為完整句子,需用逗號) Everything is changing all the time. Especially the music. (不為完整句子,依語氣為修飾前句,所以time後面點逗點,especially 小寫)

    [Now in the changing world, everything is changing all the time, especially the music.]

    Listen (加ing成為動名詞才能當主詞,後面少了to) the relax (跟前面change問題一樣,要加 ing才能修飾 music,還有這裡不用定冠詞 the) music can make our mind clearly (ly不用,形容詞就好了) and comfortable (confortable不能用以形容mind).

    [Listening to relaxing music can make our mind clear/ us confortable.]

    When I was a child I always use (過去式 +ed) the headphone to listen (少了介係詞 to) the music (,) because if I turn (+ed the) volume too loud my mother will (用過去式would) fight (這個字怪怪的,你可能想用處罰 punish 或打 beat) me so I use it (前面的because已經解釋很清楚, "so I use it" 多此一舉).

    [When I was a child I always used the headphone to listen to music, because if I turned the volume too loud my mother would beat me.]

    Then I haven’t to ("我不需要"是 didn't have to) care (care 是關心、關懷,這裡用worry 比較對,後加that引導受詞子句) the voice (voice是語音、說話聲,這裡應該用sound) will (改would) disturb my mother or not (or not 多餘).

    [Then I didn't have to worry that the sound would disturb my mother.]

    The kind of music I like best is the Hip-hop music. (雖然饒舌,文法正確)

    The reason why I like the hip-hop music is the lyrics of the song (s) is (改are,才能跟lyrics 吻合) meaningful and the rhythm make me excited. (同樣饒舌)

    [這兩句合併,I like the Hip-hop music the most because the song lyrics are meaningful and the rhythm excites me. 就很簡潔地表達完你要說的話。 ]

    When I listen (+ to) the hop-hop music my body is want (用wants 替代 is want) to move.

    [When I listen to the hip-hop music my body wants to move.]

    Music can comfort people I think it’s such (such宜刪,很多餘) a miracle

    [這是兩句話,你可以改成 I think it's a miracle that music can comfort people. 或是 Music can comfort people, and I think it's a miracle.]

    這樣改,只是先改文法。改完後離一篇有文采的好文章仍有距離。

  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    What kind of music (DO)I like to listen?

    Now in the change world(看不懂). Everything is changing all the time,especially the music. Listen(ning to) the relax music can make our mind clear and comfortable. When I was a child, I always use the headphone to listen( to) the music( because if I turn volume too loud my mother will fight me so I use it.)~~這裡很怪看不懂...你是要說開大聲老媽會罵啊~Because i turn on volume too lond, my mom will fight me...

    Then I haven’t to care the voice will disturb my mother or not( however, I have never cared about the voice whether it will disturb my mom or not) The kind of music I like best is the Hip-hop music. The reason why I like the hip-hop music is the lyrics of the song is meaningful and the rhythm make me excited. When I listen ( to)the hop-hop music my body is want to move. Music can comfort people I think it’s such a miracle ---Music can make people comfortable.....

    參考資料:
  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    綠巨人大大 我猜那一句你不懂的應該是 這樣我就不用怕聲音會開的太大聲而吵到我老媽~

    "in this way, i didn't have to worry if i turned the volume too loud to distrub my mother"

    當然我對不對還是要看發問者

  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    Now we all live in the change world.

    Everything is changing all the time, especially the music.

    Listening the relax music can make our mind clearly and comfortable.

    When I was a child, I always used the headphone to listen music.

    That was because my mother will hit me if I turnd volume too loud.

    Then I haven’t to care the voice will disturb my mother or not. 這句我不懂

    The reasons that I like the hip-hop music are the lyrics of the songs are meaningful and the rhythm make me excited.

    When I listen the hop-hop music, my body want to move.

    Because music can comfort people, I think it is a miracle.

    注意看 這些都是需要改的

    參考資料: me
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  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    希望你附上中文~這樣幫你改的時候 才不會失去妳原本的意思!

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