匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

[英文短文(參加夏令營的感想)]請幫我修訂...

請幫我修訂並給我小小的意見,謝謝!

I took apart a summer camp during this summer vacation. It's an animal protection camp. There are many people who love animal very much. If you asked me, "You must love animals so much, or you don't want to spend much time on the train to Hualian." But I would say, not really.

I am a shy person. ;-) hehehehe… … (gulp) One of the group leaders once told me, "Don’t be nervous. People here who love animals are all kind and warm hearted person." I can't agree it anymore. Not only these words but also their actions impressed me deeply.

Most of all, I got to know so many opportunities for me to help animals who are homeless or have been victims of abuse.

I was so happy to meet them. I had a really valuable experience.

已更新項目:

kukka:

這句話是想表達有人曾問我「你一定很喜歡小動物,才會想要多了解有關動物保護的議題,不然不會大老遠跑到花蓮去參加這個研習。」

(我最近才開始練習寫作,所以文章中常會出現辭不達意的情況。)

3 個解答

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  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    I took apart a summer camp during this summer vacation.

    =>take apart是片語,「拆開…」的意思。語意上有些不太合理。

    可以改成:I joined a summer camp during this summer vacation.

    另外你也可以用take part in(參與)

    I took part in a summer camp during this summer vacation.

    It's an animal protection camp.

    There are many people who love animal very much.

    這裡文法沒有錯誤,可是語意不順,這句話感覺上是:那裡許多人(不是全部人)很愛(愛的語氣是很強烈的,我建議改成關心、愛護比較好)動物。

    可以改成:People who joined this camp cared about animals very much.

    If you asked me, "You must love animals so much, or you don't want to spend much time on the train to Hualian."

    If you asked me在這邊太口語化,如果以我來說,一篇好文章應該不適用。

    我會這麼寫:Some people might think that I must love animals very much, or I won't spend so much time on train to Hualian.”

    But I would say, not really.

    一樣,but大多用在句中,如果要用在開頭,建議使用However。

    However I would say, “Not really.”

    I am a shy person. ;-) hehehehe… … (gulp)

    文章中,突然多這樣一句話,說實在很破壞整理性。而且,我不懂,害羞跟愛動物有什麼關係?應該要說明不是那麼愛動物的原因比較合理。

    例如:I did't like animals very much as a result of unfamiliar of animals.

    我(以前-過去式)不是那麼喜歡動物,因為對動物不熟悉。

    One of the group leaders once told me, "Don't be nervous. People here who love animals are all kind and warm hearted person." I can't agree it anymore.

    為了接續前面的那句話,這邊我把don't be nervous改成don't worry。還有,once(曾經)是個多餘的字。

    One of the group leaders told me, “Don't worry. People love animals are not only kind but having a caring heart here.”

    一個隊伍的領袖告訴我:「不用害怕/不用擔心。這裡的人不僅親切,而且還有同情心。」

    Not only these words but also their actions impressed me deeply.

    在以前課本中常常學not only一定要接but also,不過在國外,大多不說also,只用not only, but…。基於前面句子用過,所以這裡我也改了一些。另外,action改成performance(表現)或presentation(呈現)比較順。

    Those words and the presentation from people there are impressed me very deeply.

    Most of all, I got to know so many opportunities for me to help animals who are homeless or have been victims of abuse. 這句實在太怪了,很多錯誤,got to know so many opportunities(get to是接觸到的意思,你的意思變成-我接觸到知道許多機會,又再接for me)這樣老外是看不懂的。

    我會這麼說:At the end, I got many opportunities to help those animals which are homeless or had been abused by people.

    I was so happy to meet them. I had a really valuable experience.

    最後,你的them是指人或動物呢?而且,沒聽過valuable experience的說法,這是中式英文。

    I really appreciated to join this camp. I had a very nice experience! (或I had a good time there或I learnt a lot from there.)

    全文:

    I took part in a summer camp during this summer vacation. It's an animal protection camp. People who joined this camp cared about animals very much.

    Some people might think that I must love animals very much, or I won't spend so much time on train to Hualian.

    However I would say, “Not really.” I didn't like animals very much as a result of unfamiliar of animals.

    One of the group leaders told me, “Don't worry. People love animals are not only kind but having a caring heart here.” Those words and the presentation from people there are impressed me very deeply.

    At the end, I got many opportunities to help those animals which are homeless or had been abused by people.

    I really appreciated to join this camp. I had a great experience! (或I had a good time there或I learnt a lot from there.)

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  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    I took part in an animal protection camp during this summer vacation.

    There were many people there who loves animal very much.

    If you asked me, "You must love animals so much, or you don't want to spend much time on the train to Hualian." "Not really." I would say.

    I am a shy person. ;-) hehehehehehe ... .. (gulp)

    One of the group leaders once told me: " Don't be nervous. People here who loves animals are all gentle with warm-heartedness."

    I can't agree to it anymore. Not only to these words that he told me, but also their actions impressed me deeply

    Most of time, I saw many opportunities for me to help these homeless animals or even the abused animals. I was so happy that I can give them a hand.

    I had a really valuable experience.

    附註:

    不太明瞭你這句話想表達的意思:You must love animals so much, or you don't want to spend much time on the train to Hualian

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  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    I took part in a summer camp during this summer vacation. It's a camp of animal protection. There were many people who love animals very much. If you asked me, "You must love animals so much, or you don't want to spend much time taking a train to Hualian." But I would say, not really.

    I am a shy person. ;-) hehehehe… … (gulp) One of the group leaders once told me, "Don’t be nervous. People here who love animals are all kind and warm hearted people." I can't agree with it anymore. Not only these words but also their actions impressed me deeply.

    Most of all, I got to know so many opportunities for me to help animals which are homeless or have been victims of abuse.

    I was so happy to meet them. I had a really valuable experience.

    • 登入以對解答發表意見
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