promotion image of download ymail app
Promoted
annye 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

可以幫我看看還有哪些錯誤的地方嗎?

Hell, everybody! My name is Annye, and I want to introduce my family to you. There are four members in my family, including me. I will representation them in the follow-up unravel

To begin with, I come from a simple family. My father is a laborer. He’s not only a good worker but also a nice father. When I was a child, he often took us to some view parts for a visit on holiday, and we spend a lot of good time together. Second, my mother is an elementary school’s teacher. She is now teaching those children who suffer from an illness such as cancer, tumour, AIDS and so on. To teach them must need a lot of patience, because they ate not equivalent to healthy people. These students study hard and appreciate my mother to teach them. As a teacher, my mother is more like a cooker. She can cook many palatable foods. Third, besides parents, I have an older brother. He’s really excellent, but has a bad temper. His now enter the success university. To be a doctor is his dream, and it will become true not long ago. the last but not the least, I’m a kindness person, and I always smile all the time. I often study hard, but it seems no effectiveness due to I’m entering this college. But I still consider that without any effort, there’s no success.

To sum up, I have three very close relatives. They sometimes make me laugh and sometimes make me cry. We always take care of each other. Anyway, I love them very much.

2 個解答

評分
  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Hell, everybody! My name is Annye, and I want to introduce my family to you.

    =>Hello, everyone! My name is Anne, and I would like to introduce my family to you.

    There are four members in my family, including me. I will representation them in the follow-up unravel.

    =>There are four members in my family, including me. I am going to detail in the following parts.

    To begin with, I come from a simple family.

    =>First of all, I am from a simple family.

    My father is a laborer. He’s not only a good worker but also a nice father.

    =>My father is a labor. He is not only a hardworking person, but also a great father.

    When I was a child, he often took us to some view parts for a visit on holiday, and we spend a lot of good time together.

    =>When I was young, he usually took we kids to some resorts for beautiful views, and we could share lovely time together.

    Second, my mother is an elementary school’s teacher. She is now teaching those children who suffer from an illness such as cancer, tumour, AIDS and so on.

    =>Next, I am going to talk about my mother. She is teaching in the primary (我習慣用primary,你可以用elementary) school. The children in her class are suffered from physical or mental problems, such as cancer, tumour, and AIDS.

    To teach them must need a lot of patience, because they ate not equivalent to healthy people. These students study hard and appreciate my mother to teach them.

    =>Teaching them is a difficult job, and people must be very patient, because they do not have the same conditions as normal people. However, they love studying and knowing how to appreciate people, especially to my mother. I always feel proud of my mother.

    As a teacher, my mother is more like a cooker. She can cook many palatable foods.

    =>Not only a great teacher, my mother is also a wonderful cook (這裡有一個很嚴重的錯誤,cooker是烹飪用具。). She can make very delicious dishes as a professional chef!

    Third, besides parents, I have an older brother. He’s really excellent, but has a bad temper. His now enter the success university.

    =>The following member that I am going to introduce is my elder brother. He is excellent, but he is usually in a temper (in a temper就已經可以代表脾氣差了). He is a University student now.

    To be a doctor is his dream, and it will become true not long ago.

    =>To be a doctor is his dream of future, and I believe it will come true not longer anymore.

    the last but not the least, I'm a kindness person, and I always smile all the time. I often study hard, but it seems no effectiveness due to I'm entering this college. But I still consider that without any effort, there's no success.

    =>The last but not the least is about me. I guess I am a person with kindness mind, and I always wear smile (always就是all the time,兩個放在一起就太累贅)! I study hard most of time, but it did not work very well (原句:but it seems no effectiveness due to I am entering this college聽起來好像在說這間學校很差,我覺得放在介紹中並不理想). Even though I did not make it, I still believe that people only putting efforts in what they are doing and then they can go through any problems.

    To sum up, I have three very close relatives. They sometimes make me laugh and sometimes make me cry. We always take care of each other. Anyway, I love them very much.

    =>In conclusion, I have very lovely family members, and they can make me laugh and cry. We always take care of each other! I love them very much as myself.

    • Commenter avatar登入以對解答發表意見
  • 1 0 年前

    I will "represent" in the follow-up "introduction".

    He often took us to some views "spot" for a visit on holiday"s", and we "spent" a lot of time together.

    a teacher in elementary school

    To teach them "definitely needs" a lot of patience because they "can't ate like healthy people.

    appreciate "my mother's teaching"

    my mother is more like a "cook"

    but "he" has a bad temper

    "He is now in" a "very good" university.

    "It is his dream to be a doctor, and it'll come true before long. "

    "Last but not the least", I'm a "kind" person............

    but it seems that "my effort" is "ineffective" "so" I "enter" this colledge.

    But I still "believe" that without any effort, "I won't achieve any success."

    參考資料: myself
    • Commenter avatar登入以對解答發表意見
還有問題?馬上發問,尋求解答。