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匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請好心人幫我改英文作文

this anternoon i went the park to exercise as usual.

but today i feel a strong sense of powerless in my mind.

the feeling resulting from i always can`t live up to my expectation.

everytime i make up my mind to do something , i usually fail or

do not finish it perfectly.

so i am in blue mood and feel very sad in the park.

i am lonely , sat over grasslands beside the man-made lake.

i wanted to jump in the lake ,though the lake is not killing.

haunting by such a sad atmosphere,i don`t know what to do .

i don`t want to exercise today.

but lately,i saw a group of kids running happily in front of me.

they running,they laughing.

they leted me feel a strong vitality of life.

so i tried to smile and stand up.

started to run around the park as i usually do.

as i ran,my mood become clear and i know that i will keep running

forever.

running for myself .

應該也算是日記啦

不過我不知道寫的到底對不對(文法.拼字等等)

請幫我改一下

謝謝

已更新項目:

我看到第一個錯了

第二個字afternoon

2 個已更新項目:

第二個錯

倒數第七行

they were running and laughing.

3 個已更新項目:

我突然發現,真的錯很多.

很久很久沒寫作文啦.

現在決定下線去啃作文百分百.

還好我有上來問

不然就一直以為我寫的文章還能看.

連主動地時都不對.

2 個解答

評分
  • Linda
    Lv 6
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    1. Use past tense

    2. When you organize your sentences, always use the simple sentence to start with. Also, always put S.+V. +O. + time / place. The way you write is very Chinese English.

    3. Try to read some story books, even the books for kids. They will show you how to write the past tense, and how to apply the writing skills to connect everything you want to express.

    4. Next time, pick up one topic for one paragraph. By doing so, we will be abl to correct your work better, and your article will be more organized. As a result, you will learn more.

    參考資料: myself
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  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    基本上文法~滿多錯ㄉㄟ!有些不太懂你要表達什ㄇ~有點難改!!第一句弄得太複雜但又錯!你可以說I went exercised in the park as usaul.

    2005-11-08 03:09:43 補充:

    像單字的選擇~~句子的表達~有些怪異!

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