- 2 0 年前最佳解答
"Good grief, you'v got the biggest cavity I've ever seen!" the dentist exclaimed as he examined a new patient. "The biggest cavity I've ever seen!" The patient snapped, "You don't have to repeat it."
"I didn't," replied the dentist. "That was an echo."
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
At the lost-and-found counter in the department store.
"What's your name, little boy?"
"I don't know."
"How does your mother call you when the cakes are done?"
"She doesn't call me; I'm there already."
"This morning I telephoned to sign up for an exercise class and the instructor told me to wear loose clothing .I said, "If I had any loose clothing, I wouldn't need the class."
A woman was reporting to her husband about the events of the day.
"Oh, and I had a big fight with the electric company."
"Really? Who won?"
"Nobody, it was a tie. They don't get any money and we don't get any electricity."
Father: I think our son gets all his brains from me...
Mother :Probably-I still have all mine.
它的文章裡, 用滑鼠點到某句，旁邊的視窗就會有該句的翻譯．很完整參考資料： 瑞~愛流浪, 也愛看英文文章, 我還有別的笑話喔
- 匿名使用者7 年前
- 2 0 年前
- 2 0 年前
A frog is sad because he has never had a girlfriend,so,one day,he hops into town and pays a fortune-teller a visit.
The fortune-teller looks into her crystal ball and tells the frog that he will soon meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about him.
"Really? That's great!" says the frog,excited at the news. "Where will I meet her? At the summer pool party?"
"No,"says the fortune-teller . "Next semester in her biology class."
A man driving a truck comes across a load of penguins looking lost.
He takes pity on them and loads them into his truck.
Later, a cap pulls the truck over. (cap應該是cop )
"What's with all the penguins ? " he says.
The mam replies :" I saw them on the road and I picked them up."
The cop says:" You should take them to the zoo."
later, the cap sees the man driving by again.
All the penguins are in bathing suits.
"I thought I told you to take them to the zoo," the cap says.
"I did," says the man. "We had so much fun that I'm taking them to the beach."
Two men are walking down the street when a guy with a gun jump out.
"Give me all your money!" the robber shouts.
As the two men open their wallets, one of them thinks for a moment,and then hands his friend a bill and says,"Here's that twenty dollars I owe you."
- VigeminiLv 42 0 年前
Who would be the president?
Bill Clinton & Hillary stopped at a filling station. She talked to the attendant for a while. Bill asked “Who is that guy?” She said, “My old boy friend.”
Bill said, “Good thing you didn’t marry him. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be the first lady today.”
Hillary said, “If I had married him, maybe he would be the president today, not you.”
Who is nothing?
An English professor wrote the words: “woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The man wrote: “ Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”
Pleasure and pain
Young: Lack of pleasure is pain.
Old: Lack of pain is pleasure.
Monk and his beans
Years age two monks were required to do penance and ordered to wear dried beans in their shoes. One of them walked around limping, while the other walked with ease. “How can you walk around so easily, “The suffering monk asked the other.
“Easy, ” replied the other. “I boiled them.”
- 匿名使用者2 0 年前
A Small Dragon
Xiao-long: Ma, why did you name me Xiao-long (a small dragon)?
Mother: Because when I was pregnant with you, I dreamed of a small
Xiao-long: Oh! I see. . .But, but, but, if what you dreamed of was not
a small dragon, but a small pig, then . . .
小龍：喔！我明白了。但是，但是，但是如果您夢到的不是小龍而是小豬那 . .
A Busy Patient
Patient: Doctor, I feel so weak.
Doctor: Okay, let me check.
Patient: What's wrong with me?
Doctor: You are physically exhausted. You need more nutrition.
Patient: How can I get enough nutrition quickly? I am a very busy man.
Doctor: Intravenous drip.
Patient: How long would it take?
Doctor: A couple of hours.
Patient: (Points to the intravenous drip bottle) May I drink it? I can
finish it in three minutes.
Lucy: Do you dream at nighttime?
Jack: No, I only dream at daytime.
A Window Seat
A: Which do you prefer, a window seat or an aisle seat?
B: I always prefer a window seat.
B: In case some bad thing happen I can jump out from it.
Salt and Blood Pressure
Father: Shut up! Don't tell your father how to manage our business. I
have eaten more salt than you have rice!
Son: Yes, sir. But no wonder your blood pressure is getting so high.