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幫我檢查一下文法或字有錯嗎?有的話幫我修正!這是我自己寫的

Lonesome stays with me.

Inthe silent midnight.I watch an old movie which is called Titanic.I deeply believe that almost everyone had ever seen that touching movie,and was impress by the wholehearted love between Rose and Jack.In the last,I see the moving sentiment,so I can\'t but burst into tears.In the film,Jack desperately protected Rose from dying in the freezing sea.That the behavior Jack behaved was exactly a paragon to every man.And in the life-and-death time,Jack wanted Rose to consent his compromise that keeps live and never gives up forever no matter how straitened the thing would be.Subsequently,Rose consented Jack\'s request.After few minutes,Jack passed away.Then,Rose leaved no stone unturned to blow a whistle for surviving because of Jack\'s dying wish.In the film,I see a true,wholehearted,impressive affection that can\'t be compare in truely life and hardly be found in most of humans\' love.When I see Jack spared no efforts to rescue Rose,I cannot help but bust out crying.When I see Rose helplessly saw Jack descending in the sea,I know how anguished this feeling would be.After all,we are not God who can view separation between loved ones in life or death as nothing.And I am moved by the permanent compromise.After all,we are not saint who can match his words with deeds.

If there had a devoting love surround me,I would have liked Jack or Rose to protect my lover or stick to promise.

請英文達人幫我訂正一下錯誤的地方,並用不同顏色將錯誤的地方表出來。

如果可以的話順便幫我解析一下錯誤的地方原因為何,以及重要延伸的文法片與單字等!我是個7月即將考指考的高三生,寫了這篇文章希望看自己的英文程度如何了!

已更新項目:

我要表達的意思:『寂寞陪著我。在寂靜的午夜,我看著一部老舊的電影,叫做鐵達尼號。我深信大家都曾看過那部動人的電影,並且爲蘿絲和傑克之間真摯的愛感到印象深刻。在最後,我看到了動人的情感,因此不得不哭了出來。在那影片中,傑克死命的保護蘿絲讓他免於死在凍人的海水中。傑克所表現出來的舉止確實是每一個人的典範。在生死攸關時,傑克要蘿絲答應他的承諾,不管以後有多麼艱困都要繼續活下去並且永不放棄。隨後,蘿絲便答應了傑克的要求。

2 個已更新項目:

幾分鐘後,傑克也死於冰冷的海水之中了。接著蘿絲便因為著傑克的遺願而拼命的吹著哨子以求存活。在那影片中,我看到了一段真實、真摯、令人印象深刻的愛情,在現實生活中是無法被比較的,而且在人類之間的愛情中也很難被找到。當我看到傑克不遺餘力的去搶救蘿絲,我不得不又哭了出來。當我看到蘿絲無助的看著傑克沉進水裡,我明白這極苦的感覺。畢竟,並非所有的我們都是神,無法置生離死別為度外〈或是無法釋生離死別為無物〉。我被那永恆的承諾撫動了心弦。畢竟,並非所有的我們都是聖人可以使自己的言行一致。假如我身邊有一段摯愛的愛情,我會像傑克或蘿絲去保護著我的愛人或是信守著承諾。』

2 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    有挺多東西要改的,你寄email給我,我一起回給你!jaemidge@yahoo.com.tw

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  • 1 0 年前

    一起來切磋, 我的英文並不會比你的好. 一起討論...Lonesome stays with me.  這句怪怪的...My loneliness stays with me.Inthe ( In the ) silent midnight. ( 逗號吧 )  I watch an old movie which is called Titanic.I deeply believe that almost everyone had ever seen that touching movie,and was impress ( impressed )   by the wholehearted ( unconditioned ) love between Rose and Jack.In the last ( At the end ) ,I see (saw )the moving sentiment,so I can't (could not help) but burst(ed) into tears.In the film,Jack desperately protected Rose from dying in the freezing sea.That the behavior Jack behaved ( What Jack showed ) was exactly a paragon to every man.And ( And 不可以做一個句子的開頭, 請省略)  in the life-and-death time ( moment 比較適合) ,Jack wanted Rose to consent his compromise ( keep her promise ) that keeps  live ( she will keep herself alive ) and never gives up forever no matter how straitened the thing would be.Subsequently,Rose consented Jack's request.After few minutes,Jack passed away. ( ; then, )Then,Rose leaved no stone unturned to blow a whistle for surviving ( for survial ) because of Jack's dying wish.( 後面這幾句不是很通耶, 你想表達什麼呀? )In the film,I see ( saw ) a true,wholehearted ( unconditioned ) ,impressive affection that can't be compare in truely life ( true life ) and hardly be found in most of humans' love.When I see ( saw ) Jack spared no efforts to rescue Rose,I cannot ( 用過去式 ) help but bust out crying.When I see( 用過去式 ) Rose helplessly saw Jack descending in ( into )the sea,I know ( 用過去式 ) how anguished this feeling would be.After all,we are not God who can view separation between loved ones in life or death as nothing (這句也怪怪的) .And ( 請省略 and ) I am moved ( 可以換成 I was touched ) by the permanent compromise ( 什麼意思呀) .After all,we are not saint who can match his words with deeds.If there had a devoting love surround me,I would have liked Jack or Rose to protect my lover or stick to promise.(這也蠻驁舌的耶, 用簡單一些的句子)其實你寫得不錯了呀, 不過一些句子很不自然, 不容易瞭解你要表達的. 我的意見供你參考, 有機會再討論了.

    參考資料: me me me...
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