Health is the No. 1 Treasure in Our LivesHealth is absolutely more important than anything else in the world.Even if you earn the whole world, you get nothing if you lose your health. We have to pay full attention to our bodies. We can't afford to ignore any warning signals arising from our physical systems. There is a proverb saying "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". For the purpose of maintaining our health, we ought to eat at least 5 different kinds of fruits and vegetables and go jogging for 30 minutes or more everyday. Besides, enough and sound sleep is indispensible for our fitness, too.Health is always by far more imperative than wealth, to say nothing of time, money, fame, and so on. It is our paramount treasure to be placed in the top priority throughout our lives. Not until most people lose health do they realize how important health is. I sincerely hope that we don't belong to "most people"!
2006-05-15 11:33:03 補充：
在"賺到了全世界卻賠上了健康"那一行, 也就是從標題開始起算的第三行 "........ ,you get nothing if you lose your health"改成 "...... ,you get nothing as long as you lose your health", 語氣會更加生動, 也增加說服力.
2006-05-15 13:10:18 補充：
建議大家各自發揮,似無須踩在別人頭上,只有自己比較好, 何況: 我用in the world會比in this world 差嗎? 我用warning signals 會比warning signs差嗎? 我用physical systems(生理系統) 會比bodies 差嗎? 我用proverb 會比saying 差嗎? 我用maintain our health 會比maintain a healthy body 差嗎 ? 我用Besides, 會比Besides that, 差嗎? 我用our lives 會比our life差嗎?生命是可數名詞.
2006-05-15 13:23:01 補充：
我用PARAMOUNT, IMPERATIVE與IMPORTANT交相替代, 會比從頭到尾一直用IMPORTANT差嗎? 類似"賠上健康等於失去一切"的真理, 用現在式不可嗎? 我用"健康重於財富, 遑論時光, 名與利等等(身外物)"的句型,會比較差嗎? 我用INDISPENSIBLE(不可或缺的)會比ESSENTIAL差嗎?
2006-05-15 13:34:50 補充：
我替版主加了一個標題: "健康是我們生命中至高無上的寶藏", 生命是可數名詞, 用LIVES才是正確的. 警訊常用的是WARNING SIGNALS 而非WARNING SIGNS.
2006-05-16 10:57:12 補充：
最後一句是"大多數人都在失去健康時,才體認到健康的可貴.我懇切盼望,我們不會成為大多數人裡的一員." 這是倒裝句法且帶有幽默韻味的結尾, 絕對比" We should not..., but Ving..."的句型精采而不落俗套.最後一段time,money,fame,請改成time,love,fame, 使健康與名利身外物的對比更鮮明.