我的自傳裡面有沒有文法錯誤(20點)

Autobiography

My last name is Hsieh and my first name is Fu-ya. I was born on June 8th, 1985 in Chia-yi, Taiwan. There are five in my family including me and I am the eldest daughter. My father is a bus driver. My mother is a housewife. I received all my education in Chia-yi, beginning with primary school almost fifteen years ago and concluding with my graduation this June from Wufeng Institute of Technology.

I’ve been interested in English since I was 16 years old in Department of Early Childhood Care & Education. As I found what I wanted to learn, I transferred to Wufeng Institute of Technology. I spent most of my time on studying English including recess and after school. I made continuous progress by watching foreign films, listening to English songs, reading magazines, and communicating with my friends whom are from Utah. At school, I took an active part in classroom discussions, which greatly increased my skills of English. After school, I had to work part-time in order to pay my tuition because I’m not in a wealthy family. I gained worthwhile results as a result of working part-time. It was thanks to the experience that I was making progress in writing and grammar. I also asked my foreign friend to be my tutor. Thanks to her, my speaking was getting better little by little. In addition, I passed the Intermediate GEPT test when I was fourth grade.

At present I’m eager to be admitted to your two-year college to obtain a bachelor’s degree. I enclose my study plan and a letter of recommendation from my English teacher. I would be most grateful if you would grant me admission to your college.

Thank you very much.

這個是我的自傳,但是不知道裡面的文法有沒有問題,還有,我的老師說也要有中文版本,可是我中文的翻譯不是很好,可否請英翻中的高手幫我翻看看!?

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Autobiography

    My name is Fu-ya Hsieh. I was born on June 8th, 1985 in Chia-yi, Taiwan. There are five members in my family including my parents, two younger siblings and I. My father is a bus driver and my mother is a housewife. I received all my education in Chia-yi, from primary school to my studies in Wufeng Institute of Technology, where I will be graduating from this June.

    I first discovered my passion in English when I was 16 while studying in the Department of Early Childhood Care & Education. As I confirmed where my passion lies, I transferred to Wufeng Institute of Technology, where I spent most of my time studying English extensively, including recess and after school. I made continuous progress by watching foreign films, listening to English songs, reading magazines, and communicating with my friends whom are from Utah. While in school, I have always taken on an active part in classroom discussions, which greatly improved my English skills. In addition, due to my independent nature, I also worked part-time after school for tuition. As a result of working part-time, I gained worthwhile experience and have made progress in my English writing and grammar skills. In order to master my command of English, I also asked my foreign friend to be my tutor and, thanks to her, my English speaking skills was able to improve in a gradual yet consistent rate. In addition, I passed the Intermediate level GEPT test when I was in fourth grade.

    I am eager to be admitted to your two-year college to obtain a bachelor's degree. The enclosed included my study plan and a letter of recommendation from my English teacher. It would be an honor to be a part of the student body of a prestigious institution such as your college.

    Thank you for your consideration.

    I am looking forward to your reply.

    由於您説明是"檢查文法",所以幫您稍微順了一下,但沒有作太大的更改。

    一般正式文章應該盡量避免使用代名詞,但自傳的限制是屬於比較寬鬆的,不用過於拘泥沒關係。

    學業的方面,如果有打算寫SOP的話,建議全放在SOP裏發揮。您的自傳裏所描述到的其實是夠多的。

    一般學校申請用的自傳裏需要4大重點:家庭狀況,在校表現,基本英文能力 以及最重要的,經濟狀況。

    Autobiography 裏只要看得出您家庭狀況良好,在校表現積極,以及付得起學費(也是最重要的)就夠了。

    2006-05-15 11:03:18 補充:

    P.S., 如果是申請美國學校的話, Utah 不加國名當然是OK的。但如果是申請美國以外的學校,建議直接把 Utah 改成 the U.S.

    本人也是Utahn ^ ^

    2006-05-16 07:30:32 補充:

    在例句裏使用"have always taken "的原因是因爲這是您已經有了這方面的經驗(always則是用來強調),所以在此使用了過去完成式。但在寫這一句時,DChild忽略了您現在還在就讀這間學校。在這種狀況之下,您當然也可使用現在式。

    參考資料: 居住美國十多年 + 5年以上英文教課 + 3年以上留學代辦經驗
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  • 匿名使用者
    6 年前

    你厭倦往返補習班浪費的時間和體力嗎

    你想在家裡躺在沙發,就可以上課嗎?

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  • 1 0 年前

    you have to try to purely organize it in English....too many things are redundant in this autobiography!! it's for school application right? you didn't meation what you'v learned in present school, your average grades, computer skills....bra bra bra

    more importemt!! how can you prove you will be the best choice?? you have to try to show them you'll be worth doing it!!

    begining at primary school...is better

    who are from Utah....not whome

    two-year senior college

    bachelor degree.....no 's will be better

    your basic grammar is ok!! but you do not use correct turms in it!!

    u'd better try not to translate it in English directly!!

    the final paragraph seems to be too straight, so when reading on that paragraph, the interviewer would think about what means this!!

    if it's for job application....I think it dosen't tell the interviewer the main point!!

    it's not about translation!! it's about language meaning comprehension

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