Jimmy 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

可以幫我看看文法對不對嗎?

可以幫我看看下面兩段文章有沒有文法不對的地方,Thank you

  After I graduted from junior high school, I majored in electronics and had a setback in the beginning. But I didn\'t give up to studying and encouraged myself constantly to understand the knowledge about electronics. Then I entered in the Ching Yun University successfully.

   During my school days, I am the concertmaster in the band. I have learned that how to assist subdivision of band about the music and the meaning of teamwork and communication.

已更新項目:

後面那段所要表達的是

"我學到與隊員互相溝通的方式,並協調各部音樂方面的問題,而也讓我相信團隊合作的重要性"

這個意思

2 個解答

評分
  • 心星
    Lv 6
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    After I graduted from junior high school, I majored in electronics and had a setback in the beginning. But I didn't give up to studying and encouraged myself constantly to understand the knowledge about electronics. Then I entered in the Ching Yun University successfully.

       During my school days, I am the concertmaster in the band. I have learned that how to assist subdivision of band about the music and the meaning of teamwork and communication.

    After having graduated from junior high school(通常在After之後會用完成式), I studied at a college(大概你國中畢業後進了五專主修電子科吧)and majored in electronics. In the beginning, my performance was bad, and I had a setback. Nevertheless, I did not give up(它後面可直接跟受詞,不需加to,而這裡的study或studying可省略) and kept telling myself(不斷的告訴自己) that I have to get through with the learning of electronics. Eventually, I successfully(副詞放在句尾通常是作修飾整個句子狀態用,當它主要是在修飾動詞用時,盡量緊放在動詞的前或後) enrolled in the Ching Yun University.

    In the school, I am(這一段全部改用現在式,表示你現在是仍在【清雲大學】就學中,如果用during my school days, 通常表示是過去的。所以,建議直接用In the school)the concertmaster of a band(你是某一個樂隊的concertmaster,樂隊不只一個,而這裡並無指定某特定樂隊,故宜使用不指定的a band). From this position, I have learned how(既有how這個關係代名詞,前面就不需再加that這個關係代名詞) to coordinate the band in the subdivisions of the music, and the significance of teamwork and communication.

  • 1 0 年前

    After I graduated from junior high school, I followed my dream and majored in electronics. Although I faced a little bit of challenged at the beginning, I never give up on studying; I encouraged myself to study and understand about electronics. As a result of my hard work, I got accepted by the Ching Yun University.

    During my school days, I joined a band. Here, I not only learned about music skills, but also learned how communication works among a group. We've talked over some details for our performances, and the successful outcome made me believed the importance of team work.

    我根據你的從新打造一次 希望有幫到

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