不好意思..有沒有英文高手可以幫我改這篇作文....20點

不好意思...可否幫我找一下錯誤.....點數給找錯最詳細的喔!!

以下是問題:

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers.They are used in businesses,hospitals,crime detection and even to fly planes.What things will they be used for in the future ?Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

You should write at least 250 words.

以下是我的文章:

There is no denying the fact that computer is one of the important tools in human life. Many things are done by computer . Besides that, with the rapid development of computer , we can put computer into many electrical product.

There is no doubt in my mind that robot will be the most famous computer product in the future , they can help people do anything . For example ,everyone need to do housekeeping , they usually need to pay strength very much ,but robot feel nothing eventhough they do housekeeping all day long . What’s more ,they can help you wash dishes after dinner, you just watch TV for a while ,then your untidy dishes are wash very cleanly . In addition to that , you don’t need to pay any salary or sick pay for them. You will save a lot of money and have more time to do something you like.

Another main idea is that people put computer into electrical product to increase convenience of use . Such as refrigerator , you can use computer to control the temperature and electricity to save your money .Moreover,there are many same case with refrigerator , Such as chair,TV,and washing machine .

It’s a well known fact that depend on computer too much is not a good thing because people will become very lazy, they just move their finger to press some buttom , every are done. Besides that , people will become stupider because they seldom use their brain .Therefore, it is not suitable to yse computer to do everything.

Overall,I am totally convinced that computer is a very convenient product, but we have to be careful the disadvantage of use them.

已更新項目:

不好意思喔...如果可以的話...順便給我一些意見或觀念吧..哪裡應該更好一點....因為我想改進我的writing.....(這些都會列入給點數考量喔)

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    There is no doubt that the computer is one of the most important tools in human life. So many things are done by computers, and with the rapid development of the computing technology, we can apply the microchip into many electronic products.

    I believe the robot will weight a mass proportion of our future life, and they can help people do any thing. For example the robot can do housekeeping all the day very easily without exhausting energy too much like people, and they can also help you well wash the dishes after dinner and keep you watching the TV at the same time. More than that you can save a lot of money, without paying the salary to them, and enjoy much more time to do anything you like.

    Another key idea is that people put the computer technology into electronic products to make more convenient environment. For example you can use computer technology to control the temperature and electricity of the refrigerator to save money. Just like the utilization for the refrigerator, it can also be applied to the chair, the TV, and the washing machine.

    It's a general consensus that it is not a good thing to rely on the computer too much to make people too lazy to move no more than touching the keyboard with their fingers. It will also make people stupider due to the seldom use of their brain. Obviously it is not suitable to get Computer to do everything for us.

    Finally I would like to say that I am totally convinced, that even though the computer is a very convenient product, we have better to be more careful to prevent from the negative result for people.

  • 1 0 年前

    There is no denying that .....one of the most important...... are done by computers... Besides....computers...electronic products....everyone needs...robots feel...even though.... are washed clean....In addition.... put computers...electronic products...convenience...Like refrigerators...computers..refrigerators..such as chairs..machines...depending on computers..They can just move their fingers to press some buttons, and everything will be done... Besides.. their brains... computers....that computers are very ...products...be careful of the disadvages of using them.

  • Art
    Lv 6
    1 0 年前

    There is no denying the fact that computer is one of the most important tools in human life. Many things are done by computer . Besides that, with the rapid development of computer , we can put computer into many electrical products.There is no doubt in my mind that robot will be the most famous computer product in the future. They can help people to do many things. For example , the robot can help people to do household affairs all day long without feel tired. What's more ,they can help people to wash dishes after dinner, you just watch TV for a while ,then your untidy dishes are washed very clean. In addition to that , you don't need to pay any salary or sick pay for them. You will save a lot of money and have more time to do something you like.Another main idea is that people put computer into electrical product to increase convenience of use . Such as refrigerator , you can use computer to control the temperature and electricity to save your money .Moreover,there are many same case with refrigerator , Such as chair,TV,and washing machine .It’s a well known fact that depend on computer too much is not a good thing because people will become very lazy, they just move their finger to press some buttom , every are done. Besides that , people will become stupider because they seldom use their brain .Therefore, it is not suitable to yse computer to do everything.Overall,I am totally convinced that computer is a very convenient product, but we have to be careful the disadvantage of use them.

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