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Meow 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

一封商業英文短信麻煩幫我修改文法及結構錯誤

挺急的 麻煩高手幫忙!

As you know, our business in Asia grew up by 12% last year. Because of time differences, marketing assistants have to extend the office time almost every day to contact with the buyers in Asia. In this case, we can make considerable profit for our company.

In original, Mark was the main person to deal with the business with the buyers in Asia. However, Mark quit one year ago. I am so glad to replace part of Mark’s job because Asia market is a big challenge and we can develop more business there. Our business grew up by 14% every year after we started business in Asia, however, our business declined to12% last year. After Mark’s leave, we do not have any new employee to totally replace his job. We can not take care of the original market in Asia because most marketing assistants are not familiar with that.

According to the data from statistical department, our company is supposed to get at least 16% development this year. However, it is not that easy to achieve the goal because we need one person who can focus on managing Asia market. In this case, we can reclassify the responsibilities in marketing department to create more profit in Asia. I have worked in the marketing department for six years. Also, I get lots of experiences in Asia market and understand their business culture. I am very confident of doing this job very well. I will be very glad if you give me the chance to manage Asia market.

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    1. As you know ---> As you may know, (比較客氣)

    2. Because of time differences --- > As (= Because) things changes with the passing time,

    3. In this case, we can make considerable profit for our company.

    --- > By this way, we could bring considerable profit for our company.

    4. In original, Mark was the main person to deal with the business with the buyers in Asia. ---> Originally, Mark was the main person who is responsible for contacting with the buyers in Asia.

    5. employee-- > 加 "s"

    6. because most marketing assistants are not familiar with that.

    --- > most of our marketing assistants are ....

    7. I will be very glad if you give me the chance to manage Asia market.

    ----> It will be greatly appreciated if you could give me the chance to manage Asian market.

    參考資料: me
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  • 1 0 年前

    2. because the difference of time zone

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  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    It may have brought to your attention that our sales in Asia increased by 12% last year. Since we and our clients locate in different time zones, our marketing assistants have to extend their working hour almost every day in order to coordinate with the buyers in Asia. With their dedicated effort, our company can make considerable profits.

    Initially, Mark was the major person to deal with the buyers in Asia. However, he quitted one year ago. I am glad to take up part of his job because Asia market is a big challenge to me, and I expect we can develop more business there. Our sales has grown by 14% every year since we started our business in Asia. However, our sales growth dropped to only 12% last year. It was because there was no new employee to take up Mark’s job completely after his resignation. We cannot serve the existing clients in the Asian market very well since most of our marketing assistants are not familiar with them.

    According to the data compiled by our statistical department, our company is supposed to attain a growth of at least 16% this year. However, such a goal is difficult to achieve. In order to capture the Asian market, we need a person who can focus his managing effort exclusively on this market. In this way, we can re-define the various responsibilities in the marketing department, and a more unified effort can be directed to generate more profits in Asia.

    I have been working in the marketing department for six years. In addition, I have got lots of experiences in the Asian market and understand their way of doing business. I am very confident that I am the right person for the post, and I will do the job well. I will be very glad if would grant me the chance to take charge of the Asian market.

    其實我的英文也不十分好.

    改了一點,讓全文的連貫性好一點.你看看可不可以.

    Business growth 很籠統,我直接點改成sales growth.但不知有沒有歪曲了你的意思,你自己衡量吧.

    好像很少公司有一個部門叫statistical department的,通常會叫做planning department 什麼的,那真是你公司的部門英文名稱嗎?

    2006-08-31 02:31:25 補充:

    應該是working hours, 有"s"的.

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