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發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

英文達人請幫我看一下我寫的文章有沒有該修改的

拜託英文達人幫我看看我的文章有沒有需要改進的地方或者需要再加強的,先謝謝了。About my future, I hope I can find a good job relate with English and business after I graduate from university. Although I am study in night school and I have a part time job in daytime. I still emphasize on my schoolwork. I prefer to be a teacher, translatress or international trader. None of the jobs are easy. I should learn more English and computer ability to improve my professional knowledge during last two years in the university. At the same time, I need to learn a second foreign language-Japanese, and I also want to learn other professional knowledge-commercial course. I should raise my competitive strength. Many people are excellent, I wish I can be outstanding and get more job chance. I will get some license before I graduate. Learning new thing and knowledge are important, maybe I will to reach the higher degree, continue study Master. I hope my future will be systematical and dreams come true. I can have a better life than now.

1 個解答

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  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    About my future, I hope I can find a good job relate with English and business after I graduate from university. ==>relate一定要改成related, 因為工作與某事相關要用被動式;after I graduate from university建議改成 after my graduation of university因為一句話裡出現太多次 I 不夠漂亮

    Although I am study in night school and I have a part time job in daytime. I still emphasize on my schoolwork.==>daytime後面用逗號,不要用句號. I still emphasize on my schoolwork 建議改成 I still spend a lot effort on my study.你應該是要表達你仍然很重視課業,用emphasize很怪,強調課業?? spend a lot effort on study 表示花了很多心思(努力)在課業上,應該符合你要的意思

    I prefer to be a teacher, translatress or international trader. None of the jobs are easy.==>none 是沒有,比一(單數)還少,要用is

    I should learn more English and computer ability to improve my professional knowledge during last two years in the university. At the same time, I need to learn a second foreign language-Japanese, and I also want to learn other professional knowledge-commercial course.==>other改more會更好

    I should raise my competitive strength.==>competutive strength可直接用competitiveness代替

    Many people are excellent, I wish I can be outstanding and get more job chance. I will get some license before I graduate.==>既然是some,請用複數licenses;draduateg是不及物動詞,後面要加學校

    Learning new thing and knowledge are important, maybe I will to reach the higher degree, continue study Master.==>continue當及物動詞,study需改成studying

    I hope my future will be systematical and dreams come true.==>用systematical形容future很怪(文法沒錯啦)建議改成well-organized(有組織的,有規劃的)

    I can have a better life than now. ==>要不就用I can(will) have better life,不然就要寫完整的I can(will) have better life than what I have now.

    參考資料: 自己,3年來每天要講英文的秘書
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