麻煩幫我翻譯英文笑話!〈共兩則,謝謝!〉

〈一〉 Mrs. Harris And Her Doctor (fwd) A woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I... 顯示更多 〈一〉
Mrs. Harris And Her Doctor (fwd)

A woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an
embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but
they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been
here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a
day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

The next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office.
"Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is
worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do
you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've
fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

〈二〉
註:appendicitis:盲腸炎
appendectomy:盲腸切除手術
appendix:盲腸

A man phoned his doctor saying his wife appeared to have appendicitis.

"That's impossible," the physician replied. "She had an appendectomy last
year. Have you ever seen anybody with a second appendix?"

"No, asshole," the husband replied. "Have you ever seen anybody with a
second wife?"
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