Please help with my English. I am a foreign student.?

Please help me with my writing as follows, is it grammaticaly correct? In what way I can express my idea better

In my point of view, it is not a big deal about who brings bread home within a family. Because it depends on the personal interests, working ability, current healthy situation and many other factors of each individual.

Living in a society based on industry, possibilities are giving to women to compete with men both with their wealth and power. Under these circumstances, to live a happy life requires both man and woman to shake off of their traditional conventions. Keeping an open mind, always trying to understand and respect each other and having sufficient and effective communication so as to build a harmony family should be our ultimate goal.

5 個解答

最相關
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    How about this?

    From my point of view, who earns the most in a family is not significant, because it depends on the personal interests, working ability, current health situation and many other factors of each individual.

    Living in a society based on industry, women have many of the same opportunities as men and can compete for both wealth and power. Under these circumstances, happiness requires both man and woman to shake off of their traditional conventions, and keep open minds, always trying to understand and respect each other and having sufficient and effective communication so as to build a family in which harmony is the ultimate goal.

  • 1 0 年前

    In my point of view, it is not a big deal about who brings bread home in the family because it depends on the personal interests, working abilities, current healthy situations, and many other factors of each individual.

    Living in a society based on industry, possibilities are given to compete between men and women in regards to their wealth and power. Under these circumstances, living a happy life requires both men and women to shake off their traditional conversations. Also, to keep an open mind, one should always try to understand and respect each other, and have sufficient and effective communication to build a harmonous family and their ultimate goal.

  • 1 0 年前

    I don't think it matters who brings home the bread in a family. The bread winner is determined from an individual's interests, empolyment, health, and other factors. In today's industrial society, women compete with men for wealth and power. It is no longer necessary for men and women to conform to gender norms that were once tradition or conventional. A family must communicate effectively and respect each other's opinions in order to achieve their goal of a harmonious family life.

  • 1 0 年前

    you must say "Please help ME with English" then take out the my because you don't want to be redundant

    Then say

    From my point of view(or just in my opinion), It doesn't matter(it is not a big deal is said when there is some sort of problem that doesn't matter to someone) who brings home the bread in a family.

  • 您覺得這個回答如何?您可以登入為回答投票。
  • 1 0 年前

    Me thinks you speak English real good. Keep on you writing alot of essays and you be gettin better.

還有問題?馬上發問,尋求解答。