Morning 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請大大幫我潤飾及訂正一下 感激不盡!! Part 2

大學主修電機工程學系,有很多的團體實驗報告,不但可以培養自己獨立思考與表達能力,更可以在過程中了解到團隊合作的重要性。另外,也曾參加壘球社,擔任副隊長一職,隊員與隊長間的溝通橋樑。課餘之時,曾到火鍋店當服務生,長時間下來學習到人與人之間相處的應對之道。因此要求自己隨時必須具備誠懇、高EQ的工作態度和機動力。另外,為了增加實務經驗,也利用暑假期間到環隆電器擔任電子零件測試員一職,雖然只有短短的兩個月,卻讓我了解到責任感的重要 , 有責任感才會讓人不斷虛心學習與成長,也才會有更佳的工作表現。

I majored in electrical engineering .

I am so interested in baseball that I joined the Softball Club and served as the vice-president--- the bridge between members and president.

Lots of assignments of class make me expressive well and let me learned how to work efficiently with teamwork.

In addition , I joined the Softball Club and served as the vice-president--- the bridge between members and president.

I had a part-time job in a restaurant after class. And I learned much about how to face people and get along with people when I was a waiter there. And I think it is necessary to be enthusiastic, active and keep high-EQ attitude on your job. Besides, I served as a operator in USI for two months during summer vacation.

I realized that it is important to be responsible to your job.

Responsibility makes people growing and keep people learning.

And it brings a great achievement on the job.

1 個解答

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  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    大致上都ok了,我只做了一點修改。 I majored in electrical engineering .

    (I am so interested in baseball that I joined the Softball Club and served as the vice-president--- the bridge between members and president.)這段重複了 I made plentiful group projects in college which built up my ability of independent thinking and self-expression, and I learned the importance of teamwork from the projects.

    團體的報告可以用project這個字,assignment比較像是個人作業。培養可以用build up增進、建立這個字,應該更能表達你的意思。

    In addition, I joined the Softball Club and served as the vice-captain, the bridge between members and the captain.

    球隊隊長用captain比較適當。後面那句,我認為用逗點比較好,如果要用破折號的話,一個就夠了。

    I had a part-time job in a restaurant after class. And I learned much about how to face people and get along with people when I was a waiter there. And I think it is necessary to be enthusiastic, active and keep high-EQ attitude on the job. Besides, I served as an operator in USI for two months during summer vacation.

    I realized that it is important to be responsible to my/one’s job.

    Responsibility makes people growing and keep people learning.

    And it brings a great achievement on the job.

    儘量不要用第二人稱you/your。履歷是寫給對方看的沒錯,常常不小心就會像說中文一樣,例:我認為你對「你的」工作態是很重要的。中文聽起來沒問題,寫英文時要注意,因為是自己的想法觀念,最好使用第一人稱 I/my,或者使用定冠詞the。而且這裡用第二人稱,語氣有點強硬、命令的感覺。

    我盡力了,答案儘供參考。

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