April (>O<)/ 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

求救,一首中文小短詩翻成英文~

我摹古詩自己寫了一首現代中文詩,想分享給外國朋友,

但不會翻,

想請厲害的大大們替我翻譯,不用準確沒關係,

大大們,

就當作玩一個文字遊戲就可以了\(^▽^)/,請大大幫助我~~~

【月洶湧了整個太平洋的波浪,一滿地的殘紅沾染了宮邸的長廊。

在大河堤岸,一夜東風,惹起了蘆花的奮臂擺動,但,逗弄不起被春風纏弄而緊閉的門扉,

顛狂的柳絮顫動舞姿,輕薄的桃花貼上了水面順流而下。臘月廿二日辰時】

(⊙▽⊙)

已更新項目:

p.s.我會註名是大大翻譯的 (^▽^)/

2 個已更新項目:

T40,Adam,逸朗,威威,瑛姑,小熊,and楓羽,thanx a lot!Your support is much appreciated.<(_ _)>

3 個已更新項目:

Wow,awfully nice!T40 SAMA!I love your word choices totally haunting and really neat!Most Chinese poetry doesn`t translate easily,for the metaphors between lines are too veiled,not to mention my weak and pointless one.

4 個已更新項目:

The whole thing has a simple flow in my poem; it`s hard to describe.Nevertheless,you really did an awesome job!The first line and the closing part are my fav!I read them all the way through~~

5 個解答

評分
  • T40
    Lv 5
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    The moon invades the Pacific, shivering its shape in every (unsettling) wave;

    The deep Palace hallway is carpeted [donned] with the late Autumn scarlet.

    By the bank, stirred [persuaded] by the night long easterly breeze, the reeds dance furiously on stalks echoing the churning of the stream [river],

    (Yet) failing to entice [lure] the door closed by the Spring air to open.

    The frenzy willow quivers a choreography unknown yet light;

    Floating in air then on water, the featherly peach blossoms ride the river of no return.

    Early Morning, 12/22 (Gregorian)

    ( ) 代表可省去的字。

    [ ] 代表可替換前字的選擇,我無偏好。

    不敢說我完全瞭解全詩原意,只是依著一個讀者的感覺,再發抒。也許,離版主翻譯要求遠些。

    featherly 為古用法。今字feathery。我取前者,因為其音較合我主觀的流動感。這句話的原意,用「輕薄」,我讀來有輕斥桃紅絃音。我選用更含蓄的說法,用整句表達。而由讀者自行決定/感受那輕斥。如果不能察覺,是我之過。因為我無力用一,二字詞婉轉表達中文「輕薄」的雙重意思。

    文末誌時,最後註明陰曆,也只是個人想當然爾。也可用(Chinese Lunar Calendar)表示。但用Gregorian一般人即明瞭,無須多言。

    2007-03-13 18:30:00 補充:

    想了一下,定稿如下,感覺流暢些。(受字數限制,分兩/三段)。

    The moon invades the Pacific, shivering in every wave;

    The deep Palace hallway is donned in the late Autumn scarlet.

    2007-03-13 18:30:36 補充:

    By the bank, persuaded by the night long easterly breeze, the reeds dance furiously, echoing the churning of the stream, to

    entice, but to no avail, the door closed by the Spring air to re-open.

    2007-03-13 18:30:55 補充:

    The frenzy willow quivers a choreography unknown yet light.

    Floating in air then on water, the featherly peach blossoms ride the river of no return.

    Early Morning, 12/22 (Gregorian)

    2007-03-17 04:38:34 補充:

    感謝版主,逸朗大,以及其他旁觀大大(You know who you are.)。我比較尬意合唱團,實在很怕獨腳戲。

    We are the world...單聲只能單調,終不能成氣候。

    有時何妨眾樂樂!共譜多采多姿世界。

    2007-03-17 23:12:24 補充:

    By the bank, persuaded by the night long easterly breeze, the reeds, echoing the churning of the stream, dance furiously;

    to entice, only to naught, the calm, brought about by the soothing Spring, to stir.

    2007-03-17 23:17:01 補充:

    感受:春夢纏弄,門扉緊鎖,表示活動俱寂,無人得觀蘆花舞動。這也只是自己的遐想,無關作者原意。

    得罪了。

    2007-03-20 11:54:22 補充:

    版主太客氣!我只是隨你的文字起舞,自己並不懂意境。學習,永遠是雙向道。謝謝!

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  • 1 0 年前

    I'm just really sorry~~

    【一夜東風,惹起了蘆花的奮臂擺動,但,逗弄不起被春風纏弄而緊閉的門扉。】

    This statement is a contradiction.

    ∵【東風=春風】(→←)

    correction,

    【一夜東風,惹起了蘆花的奮臂擺動,但,逗弄不起被春“夢”纏弄而緊閉的門扉。】

    2007-03-17 21:11:45 補充:

    p.s.

    南風=夏風=凱風...

    西風=秋風=金風=商風...

    北風=冬風=朔風...

    (⊙▽⊙)

    2007-03-18 16:15:16 補充:

    T40大人工整漂亮的詩句,柔暢地勾勒出這一場喧囂的默劇,

    蘆海的激昂湧動,映襯著春夜龐大的沉默,

    舒緩,卻飽含力量,

    令人讀來有種微醺的乾渴感,渴望去翻閱T大人在知識加上的舊作,

    能夠有機會跟大師學習,我實在太幸運了呀!。(p>∧<q)。

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  • 1 0 年前

    版大不用求了,T40大人已經伸出援手了;不管你是水深火熱還是刀山油鍋,T大的版本救你出來綽綽有餘了 XD 優美之餘還附帶絕對精準的文法與措詞

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  • 1 0 年前

    Moon getting turbulent whole wave of Pacific Ocean, one incomplete to infected with long corridor, palace of residence while being red.

    On the large bank of river embankment, one night east wind, make get up to exert oneself arm swing, but reed catkins, can&#39;t tease in but the door leaf that closed,Demented catkin quiver dancing posture, light and thin peach blossom stick the surface of water go downstream. It is 7 am to 9 am on the twenty second the twelfth month

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  • 1 0 年前

    The month turbulent entire Pacific Ocean&#39;s wave, everywhere fallen

    flowers have contaminated the palace Di&#39;s corridor.

    In the river dike, night of east wind, stirred up the reed catkins to

    exert the arm to swing, but, could not tease the gate door leaf which

    is entangled by the spring breeze makes shuts tightly,

    Jolts the crazy willow catkin to shiver the dancer&#39;s posture,

    the frivolous peach blossom pasted on the water surface to go

    downstream. In December twenty two 日辰 when

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