請幫我改英文作文

以下2篇是我看長春藤英文雜誌裡的『引導式作文』寫的,但是我是看他的中文後自己翻譯成英文的,而不是自己直接用英文寫的,自己寫完之後,發現寫的幾乎都跟他給的範文大同小異,想請高手給一些指教,看哪些地方我可以寫的更好,或是哪些地方錯了需要修正!再過不到3個月就要指考了...要好好拼一下英文...希望以往的程度沒掉下來.... (1)有關網路的壞處 Nowadays, many people have their own blogs sharing their daily life with thousands of people. Those enjoying chating with friends... 顯示更多 以下2篇是我看長春藤英文雜誌裡的『引導式作文』寫的,但是我是看他的中文後自己翻譯成英文的,而不是自己直接用英文寫的,自己寫完之後,發現寫的幾乎都跟他給的範文大同小異,想請高手給一些指教,看哪些地方我可以寫的更好,或是哪些地方錯了需要修正!再過不到3個月就要指考了...要好好拼一下英文...希望以往的程度沒掉下來....



(1)有關網路的壞處
Nowadays, many people have their own blogs sharing their daily life with thousands of people. Those enjoying chating with friends on instant messaging can stay in the front of the computer screen a whole night. At present, it's extremely universal that surf in the Internet for the latest informations. Nevertheless, convenient as the Interner it is, it has its own flaws as well.
To cite an instance, you may be linked to a pornographic website having bad effects on teenagers as long as you click an advertisement of Internet. Furthermore, it's often reported that some playing online games faint and get sick on account of the irregular habits of life. In addition, the other controversial issue is that Internet also brings piracy. In consequence, more and more musicians and singers stand up for their rights owing to the illegal music download. Although the Internet bring us convenience in life, we are supposed to pay pore attentions to these shortcomings when surfing in the Internet anytime.


(2)想像自己像魯賓遜一樣流落荒島,你會希望自己帶了什麼東西以陪伴你度過這漫長孤單的日子?
I'm the kind of the person enjoying being alone. I have an affinity for reading books, indulging myself in music while staying in my room.
If I were trapped alone on an island, I would hope that I brought the comic book that I like most with me. Filled with exciting adventures and witty challenges, the thrilling story would take possession of my heart and bring me traveling another world. Being alone, no one could intrude my imaginary world and disturb my fantasy. Therefore, I hope the dream could come into practice. But I thought that I should be more practical and was supposed to think about having sufficient water and food with me first, if the thing really did happen.
更新: 另外有關That的一個問題,是否有一個情形是That當關係代名詞擺句首時不能省略?例如:
That the sun is hot is true.
此句原本若是拆開成2句是否是:
That is true. The sun is hot.
2 個解答 2