請幫我改英文作文

以下2篇是我看長春藤英文雜誌裡的『引導式作文』寫的,但是我是看他的中文後自己翻譯成英文的,而不是自己直接用英文寫的,自己寫完之後,發現寫的幾乎都跟他給的範文大同小異,想請高手給一些指教,看哪些地方我可以寫的更好,或是哪些地方錯了需要修正!再過不到3個月就要指考了...要好好拼一下英文...希望以往的程度沒掉下來....

(1)有關網路的壞處

Nowadays, many people have their own blogs sharing their daily life with thousands of people. Those enjoying chating with friends on instant messaging can stay in the front of the computer screen a whole night. At present, it's extremely universal that surf in the Internet for the latest informations. Nevertheless, convenient as the Interner it is, it has its own flaws as well.

To cite an instance, you may be linked to a pornographic website having bad effects on teenagers as long as you click an advertisement of Internet. Furthermore, it's often reported that some playing online games faint and get sick on account of the irregular habits of life. In addition, the other controversial issue is that Internet also brings piracy. In consequence, more and more musicians and singers stand up for their rights owing to the illegal music download. Although the Internet bring us convenience in life, we are supposed to pay pore attentions to these shortcomings when surfing in the Internet anytime.

(2)想像自己像魯賓遜一樣流落荒島,你會希望自己帶了什麼東西以陪伴你度過這漫長孤單的日子?

I'm the kind of the person enjoying being alone. I have an affinity for reading books, indulging myself in music while staying in my room.

If I were trapped alone on an island, I would hope that I brought the comic book that I like most with me. Filled with exciting adventures and witty challenges, the thrilling story would take possession of my heart and bring me traveling another world. Being alone, no one could intrude my imaginary world and disturb my fantasy. Therefore, I hope the dream could come into practice. But I thought that I should be more practical and was supposed to think about having sufficient water and food with me first, if the thing really did happen.

已更新項目:

另外有關That的一個問題,是否有一個情形是That當關係代名詞擺句首時不能省略?例如:

That the sun is hot is true.

此句原本若是拆開成2句是否是:

That is true. The sun is hot.

2 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    The standard of your English is pretty good!! You should have no problems in passing the exam!! Just have few minor suggestions for you;

    (1)Nowadays, many people have their own blogs sharing their daily life with thousands of people around the world. Those enjoying chating with friends on instant messaging can stay in front of a computer screen whole night and chat. At present, it's extremely universal to surf on the Internet for the latest informations. Nevertheless, convenient as the Internet is, it also has flaws.

    For example, access to pornographic websites will have negative effects on teenagers, sometimes it's only a click away on an advertisement of the website. Furthermore,the often occurance of people suffer fatigue and illness due to long hours of playing online games and not having enough rest, these often result in fainting or sudden death. In addition, the other controversial issue is the breach of the Intellectural Property Rights namely Piracy through Internet. As the result, more and more musicians and singers stand up for their rights and rewards owing due to illegal music download. Although Internet brings convenience to our life, we are supposed to pay more attentions to these shortcomings when surfing the Internet.

    2)I'm the kind of person enjoying being alone. I have an affinity for reading books, indulging myself in music while staying in my room.

    If I was trapped alone on an island, I would hope that I brought the comic book that I like the most with me. Filled with exciting adventures and witty challenges, the thrilling story would take possession of my heart and bring me traveling to another world. Being alone, no one could intrude my imaginary world and disturb my fantasy. Therefore, I hope the dream can become a reality. But I thought that I should be more realistic and I am supposed to think about having sufficient water and food supplies first, if the even really happened.

    3. That is true, the sun is hot.

    or It is true the sun is hot.

    參考資料: Dan
  • 1 0 年前

    I am such kind of person, being alone is not a big deal, in fact I like it and enjoy it.

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