腦殘米 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請前輩修改我的英文自傳好嗎? 20點相送(請說出感想)

註:想要在104求職上用的,很久沒唸英文了,一定錯很多,希望前輩給予修改和指教,並且還有什麼可加的呢?感謝不盡 Orz。

Hollow, my name is Xie-Lin Chang. In my family there are three people: mother, an old brother and me. My mother is a sale who sells children’s clothes. Even if my father was dead, she is still very hard everyday. My old brother is working at Shang-Hai Bank in Taipei, so he is not living at home. Because my mother usually works many places and knows many kinds of people, always tells me how to communicate with people.

When I was a senior high student, I majored in computer. I appreciated my computer’s ability, because I think computer is necessary in the future. Additionally, I like drawing by computer. Subsequently, I studied into Lunghwa University of Science and Technology, and I was into Department Of Applied Foreign Languages. I majored in English and Japanese at university, and I went to studies both of the two languages. English is very useful for working but Japanese is my interesting, I didn’t want to give up both of them.

In the age of my student, I joined some association I learned very much. I joined choir at senior high school and comic clubs in the university. In the choir, I always practiced singing after getting out class, and must contest with other schools in Taoyuan. I felt very busy, but I had a very substantial life in my senior high school. In university, I was the club’s leader, so I often communicated with all of members. Besides, I had many experiences that occupied many kinds of cadre member from junior high school. I liked these experiences I had very much, and I feel it was an achievement in my life.

In Taiwan, everybody wants a fixed work, but money devaluate gradually. I think everyone must learn how to sell goods in the future, so I want to learned businesses. I hope I can use my majors for working, even if I was not very specialized. I want to use not only language but also computer for working in the future. I will do my best, thank you.

4 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Hello, my name is Xie-Lin Chang. There have three people in my family: my mother, my older brother and me. My mother is a merchant who sells children’s clothes. She works very hard everyday, even my father dead. My older brother works in Shang-Hai Bank in Taipei, therefore, he is not living at home with us. My mother always teaches me how to communicate with other people because she usually works at many places, and knows people very will.

    When I was a senior high student, I majored in computer. I appreciated my computer abilities because computers will become necessarily in the future. Additionally, I enjoy drawing by the computer. Subsequently, I studied in Lunghwa University of Science and Technology, and I was in the Department of Applied Foreign Languages. I majored in English and Japanese, and studied both languages. English is very useful for working, but Japanese is my interest, so I don’t want to give up either one of them.

    In the age of my student, I joined some association, and learned very much. Such as the choir in senior high school and comic clubs in the university I joined in. In the choir, I always practiced singing after getting out of the class, and had contest with other schools in Taoyuan. I am very busy, but I had a very substantial time in senior high school. In university, I was the club’s leader, so I often communicated with every member. Besides, I had many experiences of several kinds of cadre member in junior high school. I like these experiences I had very much, and it was an achievement in my life.

    In Taiwan, everybody wants a fixed work, but money devaluate gradually. Everyone must learn how to sell goods in the future, so I want to learn businesses. I hope I can use my majors on the work, even if I am not very specializing. I want to use not only language, but also computer abilities on the job in the future. I will do my best, thank you.

    請參考看看嚕~

    還有I think不要用太多..因為文章就已經在表達你的想法了

    >>自傳這樣寫好嗎|||||||?

    就像Cacr大大寫的

    家庭狀況跟求職沒有什麼關係

    整篇應該注重於你的學歷跟工作經驗~

    參考資料:
  • Cacr
    Lv 6
    1 0 年前

    求職用的話,把第一段刪了吧.......

    你的家庭狀況跟你求職沒甚麼關係,

    你的僱主也該沒甚麼興趣知道囉

  • 1 0 年前

    整篇修當然是最好不過哩..@@"

    感想是指...自傳這樣寫好嗎|||||||?

  • 1 0 年前

    妳是希望我整篇幫你修改但內容不變,再加上我的感想嗎??

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