vivian 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

英文達人~幫忙改一下這篇英文作文~急

如題~想請英文很好的人幫忙改一下這篇英文作文~這是一篇給朋友的英文信~幫忙找出那裡有錯誤或是那裡不順暢需要加東西的~謝謝!!

Everybody needs friends, who you can share your happiness, sadness and secrets with. A best friend will encourage you when you have bad news. I have a best friend, whose name is Alice. But she moved to Australia a few months so I have a lots of exciting things to tell them. Most importantly, I go to basketball game.

We favorite activity is basketball game. Basketball game is so exciting and fun. It is recently that I go to basketball game.

The game was scheduled to start at start at eight o’clock on Friday night. Long before that, people began to arrive at the gymnasium. By seven-thirty the seats were almost filled. The school band was there; they wore yellow and black uniforms. They started to play at about a quarter to eight. Everybody stood up, and the people sang. The game was about to start. Two teams ran out to the floor. The referee blew his whistle, and the game started. A basketball game is divided into two halves, and each half is divided into two quarters. There is a rest period between the halves. During the first five minutes of the second half, the score was tied. From then on, the game was very exciting. First one team made a basket, then the other. The people cheered, and everybody was wondering which team was going to win. The ball hit the rim of the basket and seemed to hang there for a moment, and then it fell through the basket. The whistle blew and the game was over. Home team won, 70 to 68. Our favorite team is winner. It is very exciting things, right?

Well , I hope reading this letter is not taking up too much of your time. If you will come back, when that time comes we may have another chance to be together again. Please write me about your reunion and let me share the joy you are going to have.

已更新項目:

這是一篇作文~不過他的題目是要”寫一封信給朋友”~所以想請各位英文高手能幫忙修改不順的地方嗎?是要以寫信者的角度來看囉!也就是說我前面第一段就錯囉~因為以你要寫信給朋友不會說這種話吧!~麻煩各位高手嚕!!

4 個解答

評分
  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Hey Alice! How are you doing? Are you still playing basketball there at Australia? I miss you a lot and there are a lot of things I want to tell you, especially about this basketball game I recently went to watch. It was at our favorite team's home court.

    The game was scheduled to start at eight o’clock on Friday night. Long before that, people began to arrive at the gymnasium. By seven-thirty the seats were almost filled. The school band was there; they wore yellow and black uniforms. They started to play at about a quarter to eight. Everybody stood up and sang. When the game was about to start, the two teams ran out to the court, the referee blew his whistle, and the game finally started.

    A basketball game is divided into two halves, and each half is divided into two quarters, and in between the halves there is a half-time break. During the first five minutes of the second half, the score was tied. From then on, the game was very intense. One team made a basket, and then the other made another on and so forth. The people cheered, and everybody was wondering which team was going to win. The last shot was even more exciting. A shot was made by a home team player, and the ball touched the rim and it seemed to be just hanging there, and then it fell right through the basket. Immediately after the shot, the whistle blew and the game was over. Our favorite team won by 70 to 68.

    Well , I hope reading this letter would not take too much of your time. If there will be that time when you ever come back, we will have a chance to go watch basketball again. Please write to me about how your life is there, and I hope you are adapting well.

    是信嘛...我把你第一斷整個改ㄌ= =

    參考資料: me
  • 1 0 年前

    Everybody用everyone比較好喔~!!

  • 1 0 年前

    我只點出錯的部分

    But she moved to Austalia a few months ago so I have lots of exciting things to share with her.

    Most importantly, I went to a basketball game recently.

    Our favorite activity is watching basketball..........

    It is why I went to the basketball game.(這句話不知是否是你要說的)

    什麼是start at start..........是原本的意思嗎,那用originally

    應該是 last Friday night

    The band of school was there,too

    , the members of which wore yellow and......(前面應該是逗號非分號)

    Two teams ran out to the center of the court.

    中間在講basketball的玩法時,你用的是現在式,最好是自成一段落,或是加上usually字樣,感覺上不會太突兀

    There is a break time between.....

    Our favorite team was the winner.

    It was very exciting,right?

    2007-05-22 00:07:20 補充:

    There is a time out for players between two halves.(也可這樣用)

    (修正)It is very exciting,right?

    2007-05-22 00:10:57 補充:

    They started to play music at about a quarter to eight.

    and the audience sang along.

  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    Everybody needs friends, friends that you can share your happiness, sadness and secrets with. A best friend will encourage you when you are down and facing problems together with you. They will always be there whenever you need them. My dearest friend Alice she moved to Australia few months ago and I still have lots of exciting things that I wish to share with her. Most importantly is that I went to watch a basketball game. My favorite sport is basketball. Basketball game is so exciting and fun. I went to see basketball games recently.

    The game was scheduled to start at eight o’clock on Friday night. Long before that, people began to arrive at the gymnasium. By seven-thirty the seats were almost filled. The school band was there; they wore yellow and black uniforms. At quarter to eight the band started to play. Everybody stood up, and the people sang. The game was about to start. Two teams ran towards the center of the court. As the referee blew his whistle the game starts. Basketball game is divided into two halves, and each half is divided into two quarters. There is a time out between the halves for players to take rest. In the second half, the score was kept tied. In the minute one team made a basket and in the next minutes the other team made a basket too. The game was very exciting. The audience cheered, and everyone was wondering which team was going to win.

    In the very last moment, the ball hit the rim of the basket and seemed to stop there for a moment, and then it fell through the basket. The whistle blew and the game was over. Home team won, the score was 70 to 68. Our favorite team was the winner. It is very exciting things, right?

    Well, I hope reading this letter will not take up too much of your time. However, if the chance that you are coming back sometime, when that time comes we may have another chance to be together again. Please write me about your reunion and let me share the joy with you.

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