英文作文改錯。關於邀請信寫法。

Question

可以幫我改錯嗎？如果有錯的話，或是使文意更通順。謝謝。

This world was full of many bad guys, so I must change my msn account.

This account has been used for a long time.

You can find me by this msn account：[e-mail]

If you treat me as your friend, please join it.

Answer 1

最佳解答

我先試著說一下我覺得有問題的地方，說得不對的話也請多包涵。^^

# This world was full of many bad guys, so I must change my msn account.

This world is... 應該用現在式，因為就算換了帳號還是一樣多bad guys啊。

# This account has been used for a long time.

這句有點亂入，會讓人不知道是在講新帳號還是舊帳號。

# You can find me by this msn account：[e-mail]

還OK，不過似乎用...reach me at...較佳；另外，Gmail沒有.tw。

# If you treat me as your friend, please join it.

join這字用得不太對，join的「加入」比較像是（人）加入某個組織；而把某東西加入另一東西的「加入」要用add。

I'm writing to tell you that because of account hijack, I've decided to change my msn account to [e-mail] although the original one has been used for a long time. Therefore, please add my above new account into your msn contact list if you treat me as your friend and still want to chat with me.

Answer 2

首先 This world was full of many bad guys 是中式說法吧，已經full of了，再用many是畫蛇添足吧！ 其實只要簡單的說： I would like to change my msn contact address because of some reasons. The new address is [e-mail]. Please add me into your contact list if I am still your friend ^_^ Hope can chat with you soon. 這樣簡單又明瞭喔

Answer 3

I changed my msn account because too many annoyed people in my list. I been using this acoount for a long time. You can find me with this new account which is [e-mail]. Please add me if you still treat me as your friend.

參考資料： me

Answer 4

My msn account that I've been using for a long time was embezzled by

someone. So I had to change my account.

Now, you can find me by this msn account：[e-mail]

Please add me if you take me as your friend!

＊～　我覺得這樣比較順。　翻不好，　請包含啊～　＊

參考資料： ｍｅｍｅｍｅ