小夫 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

給我幾個英文笑話(要有中文翻譯)

大概是短笑話就OK囉~!(100字以內)

大概急需要10篇左右~~越快越好

20點送你喔~

1 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    1. A man and his wife were on a holiday.Theywent for a sail. Unfortunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was found. Two weeks later he received a wire saying: "Body recovered yesterday covered with crabs. Send instructions." The man sent a wire back saying, "Sell crabs, send the money; reset bait.”

    一個男人和妻子去度假。他們乘風出海,不幸的是妻子掉入海中淹死了。這個男人叫碼頭的負責人在妻子的屍體找到後通知他一聲。二個星期後,他接到了一份電報:“屍體已於昨日找到,上邊爬滿了螃蟹。請指示。”男人回電報說:“賣掉螃蟹,收入彙過來;誘餌扔回海裏。”

    2. A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

    有位小老太太去看醫生:“醫生,我有愛放屁的毛病。其實也不是大問題,只是我放屁不臭而且沒聲音。事實上,我在這裏已經放了20多個屁,但是你並不知道對吧,因為我的屁不臭,而且還沒聲音。”醫生說:“好的,我明白了。吃這個藥片,一天三次連續吃七天,下星期你再來。”一星期後老太太來了,“醫生,你到底給的我什麼藥,現在我放屁還是沒聲音,但是怎麼這麼臭!”醫生說:“太好了!你的嗅覺正常了,現在開始治聽覺。”

    3. One day Jimmy went down to the pond for a dip, but before he could dive in he spied his teacher, Mrs. Smith, emerging from nude bathing. When Mrs. Smith saw Jimmy, she grabbed the nearest object - which happened to be an old wooden box - and held it in front of her.

    "Young man, I know what you're thinking," she said.

    "And I know what you're thinking," replied Jimmy. "You're thinking that box has a bottom on it!"

    Jimmy去池塘游泳,他扎猛子前剛好看到了他的老師,Smith小姐,從裸泳中冒出頭來。當Smith小姐看到Jimmy時,她趕緊抓過最近的一個物體---那碰巧是一個舊的木頭盒子,擋在自己前面,說:“年輕人,我知道你在想什麼!”“我也知道你在想什麼,”Jimmy回答,“你一定以為這個盒子是有底的!”

    2007-06-05 16:57:38 補充:

    4. A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither. The son asks, "Dad,are we poisonous snakes?" The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son?" "Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!!"

    2007-06-05 16:57:52 補充:

    一個陽光明媚的下午,蛇父親和蛇兒子出去散步。兒子問:“爸爸,我們是毒蛇嗎?”父親得意的答道:“當然了,孩子,我們是響尾蛇啊!為什麼這麼問呢?”“因為,我剛把舌頭咬破了!”

    2007-06-05 16:59:05 補充:

    5. Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."

    2007-06-05 16:59:18 補充:

    我的同事有好幾小時不見人了。我們瘋了地到處找他。最後老闆發現,他正在睡大覺。沒叫醒他,老闆悄無聲息地在我的同事的胸前放了個紙條。“睡覺時”,條上寫著,“你是我的員工,醒來你就不是了。”

    2007-06-05 17:00:04 補充:

    6. A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she‘d like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she‘d like to have it cut into: six or twelve. “Oh, goodness, six please,” said the blonde. “I don‘t think I could ever eat twelve.”

    2007-06-05 17:00:25 補充:

    一位金髮女郎走進一家比薩店,她說想要一個中比薩,店員問她希望把比薩切成六塊還是十二塊。“噢,天啊,請幫我切成六塊。”女郎說,“我可不認為我能吃得下十二塊比薩。”

    2007-06-05 17:01:21 補充:

    7. Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"

    The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"

    2007-06-05 17:01:36 補充:

    兩個盜賊在一家旅館偷東西。第一個說:“我聽到警報響了,快跳吧!”

    第二個說:“但是我們現在在第13層啊!”第一個尖叫著回敬他:“都什麼時候了,還這麼迷信!

    2007-06-05 17:09:16 補充:

    8. "So good of you to come, Mr.Jones,and where is your brother?" "You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come, so we tossed up for it." "How nice!And so original, too! And you won?" "No," said the young man absently,"I lost."

    2007-06-05 17:09:45 補充:

    五點鐘,下午茶的時間,一個年輕人因為遲到向女主人致歉。 “您能來可真好,鐘斯先生,您的兄弟在哪兒呢?” “您知道我們在辦公室裏有非常忙,我們倆只能來一個,所以就擲幣來決定由誰來。” “太有意思了!還那麼有獨創性!那您贏了?” “不,”年輕人心不在焉地說,“我輸了。”

    2007-06-05 17:10:41 補充:

    9. Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: "Rain stopped play."

    2007-06-05 17:11:04 補充:

    老師給學生出了個作文題:“一場板球賽”。兩分鐘後,西蒙。斯蒂爾交了作文,老師允許他回家了。他在作文上寫道:“下雨,比賽終止。”

    2007-06-05 17:12:15 補充:

    10. Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up ..... what about you, Terry? You haven't got your hand up -- don't you want to go to Heaven?   Terry: I can't. My Mum told me to go straight home.

    2007-06-05 17:13:02 補充:

    主日學校的教員:想去天堂的人舉起手來,把手舉起來。。。你呢,泰瑞?你還沒舉手呢--你不想去天堂嗎?

    泰瑞:我去不了,因為媽媽要我一放學就回家。

    2007-06-05 17:14:41 補充:

    *********************************************************

    呼...終於弄完了

    字數限制很討厭...囧rz

    希望可以幫得上你囉~~:)

    如果還要可以到這裡去找

    http://www.chinaenglish.com.cn/search.aspx?page=4&...

    參考資料: 網路;http://www.chinaenglish.com.cn/, -.-, 網路
還有問題?馬上發問,尋求解答。