Blue Summer 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請教英文達人有關英文自傳問題(有撰寫過英文自傳者佳)..

嗯嗯!就是...我之前有寫過一篇英文自傳

但是,經過老師的評改後,他認為我的自傳似乎不是那麼理想

他覺得我只是把東西放在一起!

但是我想了又想,實在不知道該怎麼下手

我又看了一下英文老師給的範例,試想寫這樣真的與我欲闡述的風個不搭,而且很沒特色!

所以想請 英文達人/有寫過英文自傳 的朋友,幫我看一下我的自傳

提供我一些意見!謝謝!

My Chinese name is XXX, and my English name is XXX. I was born on October@, 19@@, in Pingtung. I am a considerate and thoughtful girl, always dealing with things with studious attitude. So my abilities and efforts were both approved. In my high school years, my grades were always amazing. Besides, I have ever joined the English contest of Diplomacy with my partners and won an award.

Through my family’s influence, I know my own life targets. I have a happy family and I love my family members. My parents are kind and patient, and they gave me good education so that now I am more understanding than others of the same age. To raise their children, my parents have worked so hard and always went gone home late. Since I was young, I have seen their efforts and decided to realize my ambition to give them a better life. I am really thankful for their upbringing.

English plays the most important part in my school life. I have been exposed to English since my fifth year in elementary school. I was attracted by those magical words on the blackboard. It was so interesting. Then I found I have already fallen in love with English. With the passion for English, I volunteered to be an English teacher throughout my junior high school years and I joined most English contests, too. Although I couldn’t get good grades in every contest, I was always willing to learn something from the failures.

已更新項目:

(因為字數限制..剩下兩段貼在補充..)

In senior high school years, English became more and more difficult. At first, I couldn’t get used to it. But afterwards, I found my classmates keep finding their own ways to learn. It really inspired me.

2 個已更新項目:

Then to find out the proper way, I have tried again and again, and finally my English improved indeed. That made me understand: Constant dripping wears away the stone. .

3 個已更新項目:

Therefore, until now, I still keep searching for learning materials to make my English better, such as, English movies, English websites, Discovery, BBC, NPR, and so on. Of course, on meeting difficulties, I would immediately ask my classmates or teachers.

4 個已更新項目:

In the future, I want to be a writer, translator, or an employee in a foreigntrading company since I am very interested in English and I want to run deep into this field.

5 個已更新項目:

So I will develop my ability and tell myself must pass high level of GEPT, TOEFL, and TOEIC tests before I graduate from college. Also, I will go abroad to study and practice translating several novels.

6 個已更新項目:

I consider it important to choose what I am really interested in so that I wouldn’t get tired of my jobs years later.

7 個已更新項目:

自傳到這邊完了..

補充1-3段 是 "倒數第二段"

補充4-最後 是 "最後一段"

4 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    關於自傳的問題你可以去下面那個部落格看看或是發問,它格上有滿多相關的文章,對你應該有幫助。或許以也可以請板主幫你校對看看你的自傳順不順口囉!

    部落格網址:http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/supercanada2007/archive...

    參考資料: 網路上
  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 0 年前

    不是很確定你這個自傳的目的是什麼,像是要說明為什麼會對英文有興趣跟為什麼要學英文,如果是的話

    文法部份就不多做說明,問題太多

    看完之後,覺得你的問題是寫的太淺了,深度不夠,還有你很多地方寫了很多的多餘的東西,感覺不知道你想表示的是什麼,有點類似天外飛來一筆的感覺,你每個段落讓我覺得接不起來的感覺,東跳一個西跳一個,我覺得這是最大的問題

    你老師說的沒錯,的確是把一些東西放在一起而已

  • 1 0 年前

    請幫忙回答一下英文問題~感謝

    http://tw.knowledge.yahoo.com/question/question?qi...

  • 1 0 年前

    妳的自傳是要用在哪方面的呢?

    如果是單純自我介紹用的(比方說課堂上或者是甄試用),

    內容的話我是覺得還OK,

    第一段開頭的地方可以只說英文名字就好了。

    通常來說,自傳大概三到四段左右就可以了,

    你可以先整理一下各段落想表達的內容(說重點)。

    我會比較建議你

    第一段:把"My name..."跟"Through my..."這兩段整理成一段,大約是用四到五句來表達說明,

    第二段:"English plays...."這段也是要整理成三到四句。

    第三段:"In senion.."+"Then to..."+Therefore,."這三個部分整理成四到五句。

    第四段:"In the future,.."+"So I..."+"I consider..."這三個部分也是整理成四到五句。

    希望可以幫上妳的忙喔~加油~

    參考資料: 曾經也是寫英文自傳寫到想尖叫的我
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