Bebe 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請幫我訂正我作文中的文法

請幫我訂正我作文中的文法,這是一篇我作文中,其中一部分的文章,因為老師會打分的,所以,訂正時請別出錯,感謝,我明天就要教了,所以只有一天發問,請幫幫忙,謝

As has previously stated, the quality of Taiwanese lives have been improved by the THSR that has made people’s traveling time shorter than before. In addition, people are protected due to the fact that it has great control of system. The quality of air can be clean after using the THSR because of its high effect engine. In other hand, the THSR also brought several drawbacks that affect on Taiwanese and society. It costs much money for building and repair. Besides, it causes some inconveniences to people as its limited stops. People, who live around the rail, bother with noise. Therefore, the suggestions, reducing cost by “ Made in Taiwan” and reducing noise by deafening. Taiwanese activities would be faster and easier than before. However, will the THSR continue to operate without negative aspect?

2 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    As has previously stated, the quality of Taiwanese lives have been improved by the THSR that has made people’s traveling time shorter than before.

    As stated previously, the quality of Taiwanese lives have been improved by the THSR that has greatly shortened traveling time.(分詞構句前面不須助動詞has。以shorten取代made short會更簡潔有力)

    In addition, people are protected due to the fact that it has great control of system.

    In addition, the advanced system control effectively protects the passengers.(英文修辭通常避免被動式,且可用形容詞時,就不要用子句。另建議將people改成passengers會更明確合理,畢竟高鐵是保護乘客,而非車站外的路人。)

    The quality of air can be clean after using the THSR because of its high effect engine.

    The efficient engine of the THSR also improves the quality of air. (一樣是臚列高鐵優點,所以加上also。同前所言,一個直述句可以說清楚的事,就不需用到子句 because。)

    In other hand, the THSR also brought several drawbacks that affect on Taiwanese and society.

    In other hand, the THSR does have some drawbacks affecting Taiwanese and the community.(有了in other hand表示「並存事項但語氣轉折」,就可省去also。That affect改用形容詞片語affecting會更簡潔,另,affect是及物動詞,不需介系詞on。Society前面應加定冠詞the,惟個人覺得community似乎比較常用。)

    It costs much money for building and repair. Besides, it causes some inconveniences to people as its limited stops.

    For example, it is expensive to build and maintain the system and limited stops also causes inconvenience. (加for example可與前段語氣連結。Cost much money可用expensive一字取代,維修通常是用maintain而不是修理repair。)

    People, who live around the rail, bother with noise. Therefore, the suggestions, reducing cost by “ Made in Taiwan” and reducing noise by deafening.

    Citizens living by the rails start to complain about the noise generated by the train and require measures to reduce the deafening clamor. Some also suggest adopting homemade materials to reduce the cost.(原句bother應為被動。Therefore一句缺乏動詞,為串連上下文意,故全句改寫,另,採國產品一議,因與噪音為不同議題,故另句列之。)

    2007-09-27 12:10:14 補充:

    最後一段改寫為:However, with the THSR, Taiwanese will definitely be more mobile then ever, but will the THSR continue to operate without disadvantages? (因此段首句是講高鐵的好話,故應加however表示與前段語氣相反。Faster & easier activity可用mobile一字取代;negative aspect可用disadvantage一字取代。)

  • 1 0 年前

    As previously staed, the THSR has improved the quality of life for Taiwanese by making travel time shorter than ever. Additionally, the people are protected because there is great control of the system. (I'm not sure what you want to say in this sentence, what do you want to say, just write in Chinese and I can help you translate). Also, the air quality is improved because the THSR has a highly efficient engine.

    However, the THSR has had several drawbacks to the Taiwanese. First, it cost a lot of money to build and maintain the system. Also, because the the train travels so fast, there are less stops. Some people who live by the rail also say they are bothered by the noise. Some problems have been fixed, parts of the train and system are "Made in Taiwan" and the builders have tried to reduce noise with deafening materials.

    Even though the Taiwanese are now able to travel faster and easier than before, the real question is, will the THSR continue to operate without any negative effects?

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