培根 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

幫我檢查一下我的自我介紹的文法!20點!拜託!

Pudael's introduction

Hi! I'm Pudael, this is my English name.

About me

I'm 15 years old. My birthday is on June 2. I'm from I-lan city. I graduated from Fush junior high.I am a companionable student.

Food

I like eating sweet food, like chocolate、cotton candy and lollipop…, but I don't like eating peppery things, because eating peppery things will make me want to vomit. I like drinking latte coffee and green tea. Drinking cola or ice water is bad for me, because my stomach can’t stand the stimulus.

Family

There are five people in my family, my sister、my brother 、my parents and me. My father is a secretary and my mother is a housewife.

I don't like my father, my father is very solemn, and so I don't like to be close to him.

My mother is a funny woman, so I like my mother more then my father.

Although family is a warm place, I don't like into there, I don't know why.

Liking

I like listening to the rock music, the rock music can let me forget bad things. I dislike listening to the classical music; listening classical music will make me want to sleep.

I like singer of rock have Avril, and I like the group of rock have Linkin Park.

Why I like Avril's songs? Because words of her songs full the true emotion, it is great to listen to Avril's songs!

Next one, the content of the Linkin park's songs are about war 、nature and life, they remind us the life is more important then anything, so we can't despise our life!

I also like playing online game. I only play a kind of online game, the name is Guild Wars!

Hate

I hate summer, because I hate hot and damp!

I hate smarty-pants, because he/she can't hear somebody's advice, and look down on other persons.

I hate do that we must not do.

Dream

I want to be a rich man in order to buy things which I want to buy!

That's all for my self-introduction. Thank you!

4 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Hi! I'm Pudael, this is my English name.

    這句話雖然沒有文法錯誤,但是卻廢話很多。可以改成:

    Hi! my name is 中文名,and English name is Pusael.

    About me

    用了太多的I。建議整句改寫為:

    I was born on June 2ed. 15 years old now. Coming from I-Lan. Graduated from Fush junior high school.(復興國中嗎?那我們也算是同學囉...) The most important is that I am a companionable(如果是口語的自我介紹,建議用friendly 或者 easy-going) person.

    Food

    這一段修改如下:

    I like all the sweets, chocolate、cotton candy and lollipop, ect, and I couldn't eat any spicy food, because it will make me vomit.(你講的peppery thing,指的是辣的食物吧?) Coffee latte and green tea are also my favorites, but no coka or iced water which my stomach can’t stand the stimulus.

    Family

    修改如下:

    There are five people in my family, sister、brother 、parents and me. My dad is a secretary and my mom is a housewife. I am not very close to my dad because he too solemn. On the contrary, my mon is funny, so I like my mom more then my dad.

    最後"Although family is a warm place, I don't like into there, I don't know why",這一句話,我不懂你想要表達什麼。

    Liking(這邊講的應該是你的休閒興趣,改為hobby比較適當)

    Rock is my favorite. It makes me relax and let all the bad feelings go away. Unlike rock, the classical music only makes me sleepy, so I don't like it. And I am a huge fan of Avril, the rock signer, and also the famous Linkin Park. The reason why I like Avril's songs are because words of her songs full the true emotion. It is so great to listen to Avril's songs!The content of the Linkin park's songs are about war 、nature and life, they remind us that to be alive is more important then anything else, so deon't despise our life! Moreover, I also like playing online games, but only one, the Guild Wars!

    Hate

    I hate summer, because of the heat and humidity!

    I hate smarty-pants, because he/she can't hear somebody's advice, and look down on other persons. And also I hate all those forbidden things.

    Dream

    I want to be a rich in order to buy everything whatever I want to!

    That's all, thank you for your listening!

    參考資料: 自己
  • 匿名使用者
    7 年前

    我一直都有過敏狀況,是最近才知道要用防螨寢具的,因為醫師建議我用,我也考慮了很久,想說要買就買最好的,上個月趁網站有折扣的時候買了一組【北之特】防蹣(螨)寢具來用用看,真沒想到~~現在覺得過敏狀況有改善多了。雖然比一般的貴一些,不過~真值得!

  • 1 0 年前

    你可以去下面那個部落格看看,他上面有發表很多英文自我介紹和自傳翻譯的文章和相關資料,還有許多英文學習相關,對你的翻譯應該滿有幫助!還有一些面談面試的要領,你都可以參考喔!你若有問題也可以發問或是留言!

    部落格網址:http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/supercanada2007/

  • 1 0 年前

    有些說的不清楚

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