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nina 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

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One of the most serious problem in our society is a great deal of garbage.We produce lots of trash everyday and trap us into a polluted environment.Therefore, We should figure out some ways to cope with the issue.For the first thing, we have to set a concept about reducing the garbage and trash to our society; from the household to the government. It is the first step to make everyone thinks heighly of the problem.Then, we have to take action to recycling the garbage,which means we should classify all the trash we produced and reuse them if we can. Finally, when we go out to eat or shop we can prepare washable utensils and bags for ourselved instead of plastic one. There is still existing some pollution from the garbage even though we have fulfilled protecting for many years.If we don't put emphasis on protecting our natural environment, we wiil be punished by the nature soon.

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  • James
    Lv 5
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    1. One of the most serious problem in our society is a great deal of garbage. (the most已經是最高級ㄌ, 所以不能再用 one of the most..... 最好是改成 In our society, the most serious problem is a great deal of garbage. 如果你一定要用one of...最好是改成One of the serious problems(+s) in our society is a great deal of garbage.)

    2. We produce lots of trash everyday and trap us into a polluted environment.(主詞以經知道是we 所以 us最好是改成ourselves)

    3. We should figure out some ways to cope with the issue.

    (the issue 最好是改成 this issue 比較有強調現在文章裡ㄉ主題)

    4. For the first thing (最好是改成The first of all)

    5. Then, we have to take action... (Then最好是改成second)

    6. Finally, when we go out to... ( Finally最好是改成third)

    因為finally有一種"好不容易才結束"ㄉ感覺

    7. There is still existing some pollution from the garbage

    ===> some pollution of garbage are still existing..... (句子會比較順)

    8. If we don't put emphasis....

    ===> if we dont' emphasize..... (句子會比較順)

    你已經寫ㄉ很讚ㄚ.... 只是有些句子會太饒舌...多念幾遍你寫完ㄉ文章, 你就會發現要怎麼修飾ㄌ.....

    參考資料: myself
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  • 1 0 年前

    主題清晰,節奏通順,除了一點點文法的小問題以外,我個人覺得你已經寫得很好了。

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