小蝶 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請英文好的朋友幫我看看!

老師要我們自己找一篇主題來寫

以下是我寫的 不過因為很久沒用英文了 所以錯誤很多

November 16, the America rock band – Linkin Park first came to Taiwan, and held a concert. Before that day, there started sell the tickets on August 25 in Taiwan. Because you bought the tickets at that time, first 5,000 buyers could get a memoried towel, so some people lined up at Chungshan Soccer Stadium before three days. No matter eating and sleeping, those people did there. And I spent near 19 hours to buy tickets. When I got the tickets, I felt everything is worth.

I arrived at Chungshan Soccer Stadium at 6 clock on November 16. When I get there, there were a lot of people. And the time passed, more and more people crowded the art park beside Stadium. Afternoon, some booth sold CD, T-shirt and bag of Linkin Park. At 4 PM, we started enter in Stadium, but the concert began at 8 PM, so we waited for 4 hours. In the Stadium, people like sardines, and the air was stuffy. Finally it was 8 PM, the concert was not started, they ware late. The audiences were not happy, but 40 minutes later, the concert was began ! People shook their hands, jumped up and down and roar with Linkin Park in a crazy sentiment.

After the concert, I had a sore throat and serious tinnitus, but the melody repeated in my brain. If this could come once again, I think that I will still patticipate.

煩請英文好的朋友幫我糾正錯誤喔!!

因為明天就要了 所以很趕

謝謝 感恩>”<!!

2 個解答

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  • 最佳解答

    November 16, the America rock band–Linkin Park first came to Taiwanfor a concert. In Taiwan, we had been selling the tickets since August 25.

    The first 5,000 buyers could get a memoried towel, some people had lined up at Chungshan Soccer Stadium three days ago, no matter about eating or sleeping. And I spent almost 19 hours to get the tickets. When I got the tickets, I felt everything was worth.

    I arrived at Chungshan Soccer Stadium at 6 o'clock on November 16th. It had had a lot of people when I got there. And the time passed, more and more people crowded at the Art Park beside the Stadium.

    There are some booths sold the CD, T-shirt and Linkin Park's bag in the afternoon. At 4 PM, We started to walk into the Stadium at 4 p.m, but the concert began at 8 p.m, we had been waiting for 4 hours. The concert didn't start yet after 8 o'clock. The audiences were angry, the concert was began in 40 minutes later! People shook hands, jumped and yelled with Linkin Park crazily.

    After the concert, I had a sore throat and a serious tinnitus, but the melody still repeated in my mind. If the concert held again, I would join it.

    建議:

    只要和時間、地點有關的,都必須放在句子的最後面。

    because不能放句首使用

    參考資料: 自己
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  • 1 0 年前

    November 16, the America rock band-Linkin Park held their first ever concert in Taiwan. They started selling tickets on August 15. We were told that the first 5,000 purchasers would get a Linkin Park souvenir towel, and because of that people started lining up at Chungshan Soccer Stadium three days before. Everyone slept and ate there and I spent nearly 19 hours getting the tickets. When I got the tickets, I felt that everything was worth the wait.

    I arrived at Chungshan Soccer Stadium at 6am on the day of the concert. When I got there, there were already a lot of people there. As time passed, more and more people came and the art park beside the Stadium was crowded with people. There were some booth there selling Linkin Park CDs, T-shirts and bags. We entered the stadium at 4PM, but the concert only began at 8PM. Inside the Stadium, everyone was squish together like sardines and it was hard to breathe because the air was too stuffy.

    When it was finally 8PM, the concert hasn't started because they were running late. Everyone was not happy because we've been waiting for 4 hours. 40 minutes later, the concert finally began. Everyone threw their hands up, sang along, jumped up and down and roar with Linkin Park.

    Although after the concert I came down with a serious case of sore throat and tinnitus, the melody from the concert kept on playing in my head. If they were to come again, I think I will definitely go watch them.

    最后一个部分 "if they were to come again...." 那边好像有点不顺畅,给我再想一想。如果有任何更改,会补充。

    參考資料: myself
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