☆〞阡琪 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

英文好的大大們幫忙改錯一下吧

This is a detective novel. Mr.Sherlock Holmes received a letter from a doctor. And the doctor brought a sheaf of handwritings,the letter said that hundred years ago,Baskerville family's ancestor Hugo Baskerville how to do evil then eventuate in losing his life by the Hound of the Baskerville's brittle tooth. From then on,Baskerville family brood above ancestor's commitment,the family's heirs all death in odd and horror way.

中文對照:這是一本偵探小說.福爾摩斯收到了一封來自一位醫生的拜訪信,而這位醫生卻來了一札神秘的手稿,信中講述了一百多年前巴斯克維耳家族的祖先雨果‧巴斯克維爾是如何為非作歹,最終招致自己喪命在傳說中巴斯克維爾的利齒下的故事.從此之後,巴斯克維爾家族就籠罩在祖先所犯下罪行的陰影之中,家族族長的繼承人們都相繼以蹊蹺而恐怖的方式死去.

希望各位大大們幫我看看哪裡文法不對

或是需要抽換詞面的(因為很多字都是我去查,不知是否適用)

ㄜ...還有

儘量不要太艱深

會不太符合我的年齡..

謝啦...

1 個解答

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  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    This is a detective novel. Mr.Sherlock Holmes received a letter from a doctor. And the doctor brought a sheaf of handwritings,the letter said that hundred years ago,Baskerville family's ancestor Hugo Baskerville how to do evil then eventuate in losing his life by the Hound of the Baskerville's brittle tooth. From then on,Baskerville family brood above ancestor's commitment,the family's heirs all death in odd and horror way.

    我覺得你翻得蠻好的, 只有幾個地方, 時態有點問題. 又有些地方加幾個字, 可能會更完善.

    1. the letter said (加 about) that ........

    2. Baskerville family's ancestor Hugo Baskerville how to do evil then eventuate in losing his life by the Hound of the Baskerville's brittle tooth.....

    這一段文法不太對, 建議改為:

    how the Baskerville family's ancestor Hugo did evil things, and then eventuated in losing his life in the Hound of the Baskerville's brittle teeth........

    3. Baskerville family brood above ancestor's commitment,the family's heirs all death in odd and horror way.

    假如你要用 brood over的話, 應該是 ancestor's commitment brooded (要用過去式) over the Baskerville family.

    要是我的話我會用 under...shadow 比較不會生澀. Baskerville family were under the shadow of ancestor's commitment.

    還有 the family's heirs all dyed (要用動詞) in an odd and horrible (前面odd 是形容詞這裡當然也是形容詞) way.

    個人意見, 你參考一下.

    2008-01-31 18:15:37 補充:

    偵探小說是否翻譯為 whodunit novel比較口語化?

    參考資料: myself
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