宗殷 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請英文高手幫忙檢查文法(急)證20點

In the end, please think highly about the freedom and democracy problem, because that is a country’s core value, and our school teacher and parents should have an obligation to teach the correct concept to our next generation, such us respect the people’s opinion or you have rights to talk anything you want, do not feel afraid to express your idea. Also, we should let the young people know the history about the freedom and democracy, because our young people are living in the blessed, and they must think that freedom and democracy are easy to obtain, they did not know how hard our ancestor did to let our country become more freedom and democracy nowadays, therefore if we can teach them since they are young, and then I think they should know how to cherish everything that our ancestor did for us. Maybe some people will opposed my opinion, and said that I only care about how to making more money to cover my spend or how to make my life quality much better, because our economic was very terrible now, and they does not have any extra time to care about those problems, they only care about the present. I agree and respect the opinion that our economic was terrible now, and people have not much time to care about the other things, because people's livelihood question is always comes to the first, but freedom and democracy problem are concern to our country’s develop and people’s right. Therefore, if you do not want to live on undemocratic or non- freedom country, please spend some time to think about this.

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    (你每一個句子實在是太長了, 而且反覆說著同一件事!! 其實好的句子要有適當的斷句, 我幫你在不改變原意下, 做了以下的改變)

    Eventually, please consider the issues of freedom and democracy. Those are our core value. That will be an obligation for the teachers and parents to teach the precise core value to our generation. For example, they should teach us how to respect other peoples’ opinions, or have the confidence to express our ideas that we really want to speak out.

    Furthermore, the teenagers have to realize the history of pursuit freedom and democracy. They didn’t know how hard our ancestors gained the freedom and democracy; therefore, they didn’t appreciate.

    Maybe some people will disagree with me. The only thing they really care is how to make more and more money to make the ends meet or improve their life quality in such an economic depression. They are too busy to think anything else.

    I notice that how bad the economic is and also understand their point of view. However, the issues of freedom and democracy are concerned to be the most important things for our country’s development and people’s right. We also couldn’t live safely without them.

    Therefore, if you do not want to live in the undemocratic or non- freedom country, please spare some time to think about those issues.

    參考資料: 留美的Beauty
  • Tide
    Lv 4
    1 0 年前

    我看奇摩知識網有一段時間了 今天忍不住想試試看是否能盡一己之力 為大家服務 希望您不嫌棄我挑你做我的第一次

    首先 我想說的是 英文結論要強而有力 簡明扼要 別東牽西扯 模糊焦點 我大致掌握您的意思 做了大幅修改 希望您別見怪!

    After all, I want to express my belief of freedom and democracy. I consider it is my moral obligate duty to teach my children to show their respects on individual’s speeches and thoughts. Allow people have right to speak freely. Only through the different minds, we can accomplish the blind spots.

    Freedom does not mean anyone can do hurtful action without paying price, or make false statements do not need to take the responsibilities. People exercise freedom under mutual respect and kindness. Each person should be responsible for one's behavior.

    As we already knew, our ancestors sacrificed their lives to fight for democracy. We ought to cherish the liberty and appreciate what we have. It is important for us to recognize that democratic government does not mean it has unlimited power. Actually it is governed by the people. Since democratic government is run by the people, it does not guarantee the peace and the fortune of lives.

    At the moment, I would rather have freedom and choose democracy. Although I may not get my point of view heard, but I can decide the kind of life I want to live by my own free will.

  • 1 0 年前

    下面這些建議不好聽 但確是實話時說

    希望你聽得進去

    1.整篇的結構有問題

    英文不適用起承轉合的作文方式

    你的文章會讓老外讀到頭昏

    2文章沒有立論根據

    只說民主價值很重要

    完全沒有提到民主的甚麼價值很重要

    顯得很空洞

    3.反覆使用......因為....... 使得文章很乏味

    讓人讀不下去

    4.基礎文法 所有格

    建議你翻一下國中英文課本 回憶一下基礎文法

    5.綜合以上 所以不知道要怎樣改

    因為全篇都要重寫

    參考資料: 英語文常識
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