匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

幫我檢查文法 急

請幫我檢查文法,內容不用理沒關係

我很急希望今天就要

Baseball is my favorite, so I ask my mom to let me go to the baseball camp. My mom said ok but she has a condition, she said” I can’t play computer if I want to go”. I consider for two days and said ok to my mom. My moms went to the internet and download the form to sign up my name. The date is August fifteenth to seventeenth. I ask my classmate if they want to go with me, they said ok. I was very excited because I can go to the sinon baseball camp with my classmate. I can learn many skills at there like how to catch a ground ball correctly, how to hit the ball on the sweet point. Baseball is really a hard sport, it is not everybody can do it.

On August fourteenth, I have to prepare my luggage, I brought sunscreen, clothes, slippers, tooth brush, tooth paste and also some snacks. I bring two Doritos’ and one Lays’ cookie.

On August fifteenth, my mom drive car and took me to the tiger city to take the special bus. When we arrived the college, the couch brought us to the dormitory and put down the luggage. After we put the luggage, we go to the basement. The couch told us which team we were. First day, we train the fitness. We run by the waring track for ten times. We train to strengthen our muscle, it is very hard and tired.

On August sixteenth, we had two games must to finish. First game, I was a third baseman and I hit two hits. Our team won the game we won five points. Second game, I was a start pitcher I throw five innings I didn’t lost any point and we won the game too. At night, Sinon Bulls player come to help us sign the name we were very excited.

On August seventeenth, our last day, we have a champion game have to play. This time I was a closer I throw two innings I didn’t lost any point too. We won the championship, we were so happy. We had a closing ceremony before we went home.

已更新項目:

題目是 Eduction onVocation

可以的話幫我補一段結論

謝謝

2 個已更新項目:

Education onVacation

謝謝世界無敵曾 感謝囉

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Baseball is my favorite, so I ask my mom to let me go to the baseball camp.

    → Baseball is my favorite sport so I asked my mom to let me go to the baseball camp.

    My mom said ok but she has a condition, she said"I can’t play computer if I want to go".

    → My mom agreed it but she had a condition that I can't play computer game if I want to go.

    I consider for two days and said ok to my mom.

    → I have considered for two days and promised my mom.

    My moms went to the internet and download the form to sign up my name.

    → My mom surfed the Internet and downloaded the form to sign up my name.

    The date is August fifteenth to seventeenth.

    → The camp started from August fifteenth to seventeenth.

    I ask my classmate if they want to go with me, they said ok.

    → I asked my classmates if they wanted to go with me, and they did.

    I was very excited because I can go to the sinon baseball camp with my classmate.

    → I was very excited because I could go to the Sinon baseball camp with my classmates.

    I can learn many skills at there like how to catch a ground ball correctly, how to hit the ball on the sweet point.

    → I would learn many skills there like how to catch a ground ball correctly and how to hit the ball on the sweet point.

    Baseball is really a hard sport, it is not everybody can do it.

    → Baseball is really a hard sport, and it is not easy for everyone.

    On August fourteenth, I have to prepare my luggage, I brought sunscreen, clothes, slippers, tooth brush, tooth paste and also some snacks.

    → On August fourteenth, I had to pack up my luggage, and I also brought sunscreen, clothes, slippers, tooth brush, tooth paste and some snacks.

    I bring two Doritos’ and one Lays’ cookie.

    → I brought two boxes of Doritos' and one box of Lays' crackers.

    On August fifteenth, my mom drive car and took me to the tiger city to take the special bus.

    → On August fifteenth, my mom drove me to the Tiger City to take the shuttle bus.

    2008-08-29 15:13:41 補充:

    When we arrived the college, the couch brought us to the dormitory and put down the luggage.

    → When we arrived in the college, the couch led us to the dormitory and put down the luggage.

    After we put the luggage, we go to the basement.

    → After we put the luggage in order, we went to the basement.

    2008-08-29 15:14:29 補充:

    The couch told us which team we were.

    → The couch told us which team we were on.

    First day, we train the fitness. We run by the waring track for ten times.

    → First day, we trained the fitness. We ran by the waring track for ten times. (the waring track是什麼啊)

    2008-08-29 15:14:58 補充:

    We train to strengthen our muscle, it is very hard and tired.

    → To strengthen our muscle was very hard and tiring.

    = It was extremely hard and tiring to strengthen our muscle.

    2008-08-29 15:16:06 補充:

    On August sixteenth, we had two games must to finish. First game, I was a third baseman and I hit two hits.

    → On August sixteenth, we had to play two baseball games. First game, I was a third baseman and I hit two hits.

    2008-08-29 15:16:30 補充:

    Our team won the game we won five points.

    → Our team scored five points and won the game.

    2008-08-29 15:16:40 補充:

    Second game, I was a start pitcher I throw five innings I didn’t lost any point and we won the game too.

    → Second game, I was a starting pitcher I threw five innings I didn't lose any point and we won the game, too.

    2008-08-29 15:16:50 補充:

    At night, Sinon Bulls player come to help us sign the name we were very excited.

    → At night, players on the Sinon Bulls came to give us their autograph, and we were very excited.

    2008-08-29 15:16:56 補充:

    On August seventeenth, our last day, we have a champion game have to play. This time I was a closer I throw two innings I didn’t lost any point too.

    → The last day, we had a baseball championship to play. This time I was a closer, and I threw two innings. I didn't lose any point again.

    2008-08-29 15:17:04 補充:

    We won the championship, we were so happy. We had a closing ceremony before we went home.

    → We won the championship, and we were so happy. We had a closing ceremony before we went home.

    2008-08-29 15:17:56 補充:

    改得真辛苦~

    你的時態幾乎不對

    連接詞也都不見一大堆

    內容很像小學日記

    希望可以將句子更多變化

    這樣會更好

    參考資料: 自己
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  • 1 0 年前

    第一段最後一句 Baseball is really a hard sport, it is not everybody can do it.

    改成: Baseball is really a hard sport; it is not everybody can do it.

    第二段第一行On August fourteenth, I have to prepare my luggage, I brought sunscreen,

    改成:On August fourteenth, I have to prepare my luggage; I brought sunscreen,

    第三段最後一行We train to strengthen our muscle, it is very hard and tired

    改成:We train to strengthen our muscle; it is very hard and tired

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  • 1 0 年前

    我要提醒你, Educ(a)tion on V(a)cation才是對的

    參考資料:
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