? 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

HELP~請英文高手幫忙修英文閱讀心得。

我是一位高一新生,暑假作業是一篇約200字的英文閱讀心得,內容要包含故事大意和讀後感想。

想麻煩大家在修的時候不要加長太多,並且把修的地方標示出來,如果是文法上的問題麻煩附上原因。

故事書中有一個單字vanished我查不到,想問問能不能換別的字,或者有好心人可以附上音標和中文。

另外,在修改時請不要用太深的字好嗎?可以幫我將句子修的更美,也可以把大剛刪掉一些,增加心得的部份。

*我在每段英文後附上了我想要表達的中文。

最後,希望大家可以踴躍幫助我,因為9/1就要開學了,時間緊迫,真的謝謝所有幫助我的人。

My thoughts on "Firefly Moon"

「螢火蟲的月亮」心得報告

"Firefly Moon" is a very qute story . It is a child book . When I read this book I become a child!I think it is a wonderful thing .

「螢火蟲的月亮」是一個可愛的故事。它是本童書。當我在讀這本書時我彷彿變成一個小孩!我覺得這是件很美好的事。

This is a story about moon .One night the moon vanished . "The moon has dropped out of the sky",said the fireflies .They belive the moon fallen into the forest .

這是個關於月亮的故事。有天晚上月亮不見了。「月亮從天上掉下來了」,營火蟲們說。她們相信月亮掉進森林裡。

They did not have very far to look . There is sat, on the grass, perfectly round and moon-shaped . But it was not shinning as it usually did .

她們沒飛多遠就找到月亮了。它端坐在草地上,圓圓的,就像月亮一樣。但它並不像平常一樣皎潔明亮。

They desided help for the moon .So they settled on the moon and covered it all over with tiny dots of light . Then they danced on it, just like pant. They made pattern after pattern, but still the moon did not light up.

她們決定幫助月亮。所以她們停在月亮表面上,在上面蓋滿一點、一點的亮光。然後她們在上面跳舞,就像在畫畫一樣。她們畫了各式各樣的圖案,但是越亮還是沒有亮起來。

After a while the fireflies grew tired and soon they slept . Only then the moon came up in the sky . A owl attention there are a lot firflies around a komodo’ egg . He carried it safely back to komodo’s home . When the fireflies awoke and thank themselves made the the moon shine again .

過了一會兒螢火蟲們都累壞了而且很快就睡著了。就在這時月亮升到天空上。一隻貓頭鷹發現很多的螢火蟲圍繞著一顆變色龍的蛋。他小心地將他送回變色龍的家。當螢火蟲們醒來時他們想是自己讓月亮恢復光芒的。

I really like the pure story . These small animal catch my heard. The beautiful picture of the book is great, too. "Read Engelish book is easy and fun"!I said when I clothes my book,then I smile happiness.

我非常喜歡這個純真的故事。這些可愛的小動物深深的抓住了我的心。書中美麗的圖片也很棒。「讀英文書簡單又有趣!」當我闔上書時說著,而且笑的很幸福。

4 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    My reflection on "Firefly Moon" 「螢火蟲的月亮」心得報告

    "Firefly Moon" is a very cute story . It is a fairy tale . While I was reading this book , I seemd to be a child!I think it is a wonderful thing .

    「螢火蟲的月亮」是一個可愛的故事。它是本童書。當我在讀這本書時我彷彿變成一個小孩!我覺得這是件很美好的事。

    This is a story about the moon .One night the moon disappeared. "The moon dropped out of the sky," said the fireflies.They believed that the moon fallen into the forest .

    這是個關於月亮的故事。有天晚上月亮不見了。「月亮從天上掉下來了」,營火蟲們說。她們相信月亮掉進森林裡。

    They didn't fly very far and quickly found the moon. It just sat on the grasslands like the round moon. But unfortunately, it was not so bright and shining as usual.

    她們沒飛多遠就找到月亮了。它端坐在草地上,圓圓的,就像月亮一樣。但它並不像平常一樣皎潔明亮。

    So they decided to help the moon. they planed to stayed on the moon and covered it all over by dotting lights, and then they danced on it just like painting. Although they drew a variety of pictures to make it light, it didn't work at all.

    她們決定幫助月亮。所以她們停在月亮表面上,在上面蓋滿一點、一點的亮光。然後她們在上面跳舞,就像在畫畫一樣。她們畫了各式各樣的圖案,但是越亮還是沒有亮起來。

    After a while, the fireflies got tired and soon fell asleep. On at this time the moon rose up to the sky. Suddenly, A owl found that there were a lot fireflies surrending a chameleon's egg and sent it carefully back to chameleon's house. When the fireflies woke up, they thought that it's them to make the moon shine again.

    過了一會兒螢火蟲們都累壞了而且很快就睡著了。就在這時月亮升到天空上。一隻貓頭鷹發現很多的螢火蟲圍繞著一顆變色龍的蛋。他小心地將他送回變色龍的家。當螢火蟲們醒來時他們想是自己讓月亮恢復光芒的。

    I really like this pure story. These small and lovely animals capture my imagination. Also, the beautiful pictures in the book are great, too.

    It's pretty simple and funny for me to read the books about English. When I closed the book, I smiled happily.

    我非常喜歡這個純真的故事。這些可愛的小動物深深的抓住了我的心。書中美麗的圖片也很棒。「讀英文書簡單又有趣!」當我闔上書時說著,而且笑的很幸福。

    2008-08-30 13:38:14 補充:

    這位年輕的高中生你好,你一定要記得當你在描述一篇故事,緒如童話故事裡的像白雪公主,美人魚等等的故事的時候,文法時態一定都是用過去式。

    故事情節已經發生過了,不可能現在再來重演一次。

    我有幫你修改了文法,更換了單字就是要讓它用字正確,也加了一些轉折語氣,如果你有仔細看的話。

    你才高一,英文就可以寫成這樣不錯了哦。我記得我高一時,英文都比你爛到爆。

    加油哦~你還非常的年輕。

    如果你覺得那裡的句子改的不好或你看不順眼的話,請不要客氣的給它狠狠改掉。因為你絕對有這個權力。

    加油~加油~再加油

    2008-08-30 14:03:14 補充:

    不好意思,我發現了有地方文法沒注意修改好

    現在我補充把它改正確

    1.A(n) owl found that there were (lots of) fireflies surrending a chameleon's egg and sent it carefully back to chameleon's house. 一隻貓頭鷹發現很多的螢火蟲圍繞著一顆變色龍的蛋。

    2.They believed that the moon (fell) into the forest. 她們相信月亮掉進森林裡。

  • Easy
    Lv 7
    1 0 年前

    作業就該自已寫~版大你這樣做很好,有自已完成再請協助~

    2008-09-01 21:59:11 補充:

    贊助你二點~

  • Wen
    Lv 5
    1 0 年前

    首先,恭喜你,就一個高一生來說,你的英文寫得真不錯,可能比許多所謂的大學生都好。

    有幾個一般的錯誤,我在這裡提醒你一下:

    1. 拼字應力求正確。 你的文字軟體應該有檢查的功能 (spellcheck)。

    2. 英文一句結尾的標點,應緊接最後一個字母。然後留一空格,再開始下一句。例如:

    This is a story about the moon._One night the moon vanished.

    "The moon has dropped out of the sky!"_said the fireflies.

    以下的修改部份,我用括號表示。抱歉我沒有個別詳加解釋文法。你還在唸高中,我相信日後你的老師會講解的。

    My thoughts on "Firefly Moon"

    「螢火蟲的月亮」心得報告

    "Firefly Moon" is a very (cute) story. It is a (children's) book. When I read this book I (felt like) a child (again)! I think it is a wonderful thing.

    「螢火蟲的月亮」是一個可愛的故事。它是本童書。當我在讀這本書時我彷彿變成一個小孩!我覺得這是件很美好的事。

    This is a story about (the) moon. One night the moon vanished. "The moon has dropped out of the sky (!") said the fireflies. They (believed) the moon (has) fallen into the forest.

    這是個關於月亮的故事。有天晚上月亮不見了。「月亮從天上掉下來了」,營火蟲們說。她們相信月亮掉進森林裡。

    They did not have (to look very far.) There it (sat on the grass, perfectly round-shaped.) (Yet the moon) was not (shining) as it usually (had.)

    她們沒飛多遠就找到月亮了。它端坐在草地上,圓圓的,就像月亮一樣。但它並不像平常一樣皎潔明亮。

    They (decided to help) the moon(, so) they settled on the moon and covered it all over with tiny dots of light. Then they danced on it(. Just) like (painting,) they made pattern after pattern, but still the moon did not light up.

    她們決定幫助月亮。所以她們停在月亮表面上,在上面蓋滿一點、一點的亮光。然後她們在上面跳舞,就像在畫畫一樣。她們畫了各式各樣的圖案,但是越亮還是沒有亮起來。

    After a while the fireflies grew tired and soon they (fell asleep). Only then the moon came up in the sky. (An) owl (discovered) a lot (of fireflies) around a komodo's egg. He carried it safely back to (the) komodo's home . When the fireflies awoke, (they congratulated themselves on making) the moon shine again.

    過了一會兒螢火蟲們都累壞了而且很快就睡著了。就在這時月亮升到天空上。一隻貓頭鷹發現很多的螢火蟲圍繞著一顆變色龍的蛋。他小心地將他送回變色龍的家。當螢火蟲們醒來時他們想是自己讓月亮恢復光芒的。

    I really like (this) pure story. These small (creatures warm my heart.) The beautiful (illustrations) are great, too. "(Reading English books) is easy and fun (!)" I said (to myself) when I (closed the) book. Then I (smiled in) happiness.

    我非常喜歡這個純真的故事。這些可愛的小動物深深的抓住了我的心。書中美麗的圖片也很棒。「讀英文書簡單又有趣!」當我闔上書時說著,而且笑的很幸福

  • tammy
    Lv 5
    1 0 年前

    以中學的程度來說,寫的不差,只是怎麼像中翻英?錯字不少!文法有些怪?!想改,實在是很怕破壞文章結構,告訴你一些錯字吧!Firefly Moon" is a very qute story,qute應該是cute, desided應該是decided, pant應該是paint, belive應該是believed, awoke應該是awake, clothes應該是closed。

    vanished是suddenly disappeared

    文法還是留給你的新老師改吧!

    Good luck

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