布萊特 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

幫幫我修改以下作文

I was filled with anticipation once a year Midautumn Festival finally

to come, was really happy!

Uncle invites me to go to his family barbecue, roasts unexpectedly is

an obese chicken, really is inconceivable, I or first time see!

Has not roasted chicken's time I and uncle, but also has uncle the

friend to play the game together, plays well happy, lets my eternal

life be unforgettable

The barbecue finally started, the family entrance roasts a chicken in

uncle, just started to see that chicken, I thought the terror !

Perhaps is because I have not roasted the chicken?

Some pipe inserts in chicken's belly, the belly also keeps the blood,

tore limb from limb by five horses like before "" to be ordinary

We as soon as roast on rip open the meat, that kind feels the good

terror, but roasts or eats up the chicken, eats with gusto, also

imagines compared to me delicious

After finishes eating, we also play the big female celestial stick,

altogether has played two kind of female celestial sticks, one kind is

the ordinary female celestial stick, moreover, one kind is dissimilar,

the color can change, plays satisfies a craving very much, 1. all

cannot be greasy; Also continuously unceasing sets off the smoke and

fire, the smoke and fire scenery is too beautiful to behold,

Also has very many kinds dissimilar, some in the sky, have can which

can fly, has on the place to transfer, plays very much happily, the

family plays going home in uncle which does not hope to past ten my

only then hearts unwilling sentiment.

One played all day tiredly, also should go home, this was I first time

plays such satisfies a craving, I was reluctant to part went back,

hoped the next time the Midautumn Festival also can like this year the

Midautumn Festival same amusement, played joyfully! Reference

2 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    I was filled with excitement of the Mid-Autumn Festival which only

    comes once a year has finally arrived. Everyone was really happy!

    Uncle invited me join his family barbecue. It was my first time to eat

    a roasted obese chicken and it was incredibly delicious.

    There was not only my uncle and I, but many of his other friends.

    We played games together, it was really fun and I will never forget

    this unforgettable moment.

    At the barbecue, there was a roasted chicken brought to my uncle. I stared at the chicken

    and thought " What a terror!".

    Perhaps it was because I have not roast a chicken before. Sticks were

    put into the chicken's belly, there were still blood in it. The chichen was torn

    limb to limb like an execution in the old days.

    The roasted chicken was delicous!

    After we finished eating, we played with the spark sticks together.

    There were two different spark sticks, the ordinary ones and another

    one that changes colors and they both creatived beautiful smoke and fire.

    We also played around with a variety of firecrackers. Some flied up to

    the sky, and some other just dashed away. The kids were romping around

    happily.

    We were so tired after playing for the whole day. This was the best time

    that I ever had, I'm looking forward to go back again. I hope every

    Mid-Autumn Festival can be as fun as this year's.

    um.. 有很多錯誤

    但是試著寫很厲害了唷...

    有一些我看不太懂你的意思

    所以我就大概改了一下

    參考資料: 自己
  • 1 0 年前

    你的單字是用字典查的芭?

    文法錯很多噢

    我舉個例子

    第一句I was filled with anticipation once a year finally

    to come, was really happy!

    人不可以用filled with

    而且你用2個完整的句子

    中間不但沒有連接辭

    第二句還沒主詞

    我建議改為:

    I was really forward to the Midautumn Festival coming once a year ,so L was very happy.

    還有文章時態不一致

    再思考看看芭

    我很想賺20點

    但是真的錯太多了

    請其他更厲害的大大幫你芭= )

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