應徵國貿工作的 英文自傳 請高手指教

我這樣的英文自傳ok嘛?.我文法很差 請文法 或英文強的 修改跟指教..謝謝 我想應徵國貿助的工作..可以強調些什麼嘛? My name is xxx, I am 24 years old. I have positive work attitude and ability to work independently, mature and resourceful. I am to be willing work under high pressure with pleasant and careful attitude. I am graduated from National Kaohsiung First... 顯示更多 我這樣的英文自傳ok嘛?.我文法很差
請文法 或英文強的 修改跟指教..謝謝
我想應徵國貿助的工作..可以強調些什麼嘛?
My name is xxx, I am 24 years old. I have positive work attitude and ability to work independently, mature and resourceful. I am to be willing work under high pressure with pleasant and careful attitude.

I am graduated from National Kaohsiung First University of Science and Technology at June 2006. My major is Department of Information Management. Throughout my academic career, I became a member of badminton team to join in nationwide games. In 2005, I am the school’s representative to took part in the contest that held by Ministry of Education. Moreover, I had not only obtained certificates about computer software skill and English, but also taken part in various societies.

I had the experience of Equipment Engineer Assistant, manage and maintain computer equipments. I made a study of Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) in my case study. And I competed in contests such as Case Solving Competition and also participated in the project of National Science Council. Through that I studied to the ability of coordination and enjoy the team spirit.

Before military training, I worked as a retail sale person for Watsons from 2006 to 2007, I am diligent in my work that qualified me for a promotion. During the period which I had learnt good presentation and communication skills. This will has great influence on working achievement.

I am quite sure about myself and always persisting in carrying out my plan of future. I have high interested in this position. I believe I accord with the request of the profession .If I can get the job, I will do the best of my ability, thanks.
更新: 好慘= ="
要重寫是因為整個不順?
還是文法不對?
還是看不出這是自傳呢?
3 個解答 3