幫忙修改英文句子文法和語意

能否幫忙修改以下英文句子

我想修的更精簡一些

避免語意重複以及文法錯誤

也麻煩告知我錯在哪裡

為什麼修改之後會更好

謝謝

Having accumulated nearly seven years of work experience in elementary education, which began since my graduation from the Department of Education, Chiayi University in 2001, a felling to boost my professional advancement in education, especially in counseling and psychology, has grown stronger and stronger in my mind. By fieldwork, I realize that the more I got involved in the works, the more I felt insufficient professional knowledge toward counseling and psychology. Thus, I am determinant to seek for your prestigious graduate study that will prepare for my counseling and psychology theories as well as practical skills in my future educational career.

2 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    I have nearly seven years of elementary education experience since graduated from Chiayi University, Department of Education in year 2001. Being involved in daily field work , I have realized the more I have practiced the more necessary knowledge I must learn in order to advance myself in counseling and psychology. I am seeking the opportunity of attending your prestigious graduate school to prepare myself for my further careen in elementary education.

    不好意思, 看你的意思應是要申請學校, 幫你簡單重寫一下, 老外一般看信要簡單而且因為要了解你的人所以直述句較重要, 不要太長篇大論, 另主角是"你"這人是否可以栽培, 不是"你的feeling" 原文有點反其道而行. 原文在文法上大體無誤但是英文不是靠文法的是靠說明的語氣的. 另外介詞過多己將原文無意中切割斷落造成閱讀的困難.

    希望能幫到你.

  • Tosh
    Lv 6
    1 0 年前

    I have accumulated nearly seven years of elementary educational work experience since graduating from the Department of Education in Chiayi University.

    Having accumulated nearly seven years of work experience in elementaryeducation, which began since my graduation from the Department ofEducation, Chiayi University in 2001,

    I have been wanting to boost my education professional skills in the fields of counseling and psychology.

    a felling to boost myprofessional advancement in education, especially in counseling andpsychology, has grown stronger and stronger in my mind.

    The more I was involved in fieldworks, the more I realized that my knowledge in counseling and psychology was insufficient.

    By fieldwork, Irealize that the more I got involved in the works, the more I feltinsufficient professional knowledge toward counseling and psychology.

    In order to gain more knowledge in counseling and psychology theories, I am determined to to seek out your prestigious graduate studies. These and other practical skills will assist me in my future educational career.

    Thus, I am determinant to seek for your prestigious graduate study thatwill prepare for my counseling and psychology theories as well aspractical skills in my future educational career.

    1. 句子太長又沒重點讓人不知道你要表達的是什麼。寫作的時候應避免長句2. 有錯字3. 應該附上中文因為有些地方看不懂,半猜的4. 文法需要很大加強.....

    2008-09-08 13:36:37 補充:

    順便一提是feeling不是felling

    參考資料: 外國人
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