adolf 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

我要考司法特考 英文作文30分 請問這樣可以拿幾分?

我要考司法特考 英文作文30分 請問這樣可以拿幾分?

請教各位英文達人 Vielen Dank !

第一段Many colleague students may take up any type of part-time job. However, it is not easy to find a way to balance the work and study. Therefore, the benefits and risks of a part-time job have been a hot issue on which people have different views

第二段Some people think that a part-time job can develop a sense of responsibility and competition. Moreover, it can master the interpersonal skills.The benefits above will make students prepare themselves for the future job.

第三段However, others hold that a part-job may contribute to a risk of giving up the time to study in order to squeeze in some time to work. And then it may lead to the lower grades. Furthermore, the lower grades may have a negative impact on the future interviews.

第四段I am opinion of that the work and study do not have necessarily conflict, In fact, if the students are disciplined and budget the time accordingly, it exits a way to make the work and study compliment each other.

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30分的英文 補習有點不划算

2 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    您好

    我不能幫你評分但是可以給你幾個建議

    文章的內容表達清晰一看就知道你要說什麼. 不過建議argument 要再強一點而且最好有例子.

    文法需要加強. 我稍微幫你改一下請參考-

    Bonne Chance!

    第一段

    ---> Although many college students may choose to take up part time jobs of any nature, it is never an easy task to strike a proper balance between one's work and study. Thus (or as a result/ consequently), the benefits and risks of a part time job have always been a hot issue on debate.

    Colleague 是 同事 . 用 However 的前ㄧ段句子必須要是opposite point of view 不然會顯得很唐突. 可以用Therefore 但我覺得Thus 會比較好聽 所以你自己決定. It is not easy to find a way to balance between work and study. 這裡要用balance between..

    第二段

    --> Some would argue that part time job can develop (or cultivate/ instill) a sense of responsibility, and at the same time, teach one to be more competitive. Moreover, it enhances one's mastery of interpersonal skills. The above stated benefits would prepare the students well for their future jobs.

    寫argumentative essay 時盡量用第三人稱 (one's instead of it/ his/ her...etc) 比較正式. 參考 alternative: Moreover , it can (help one to) master interpersonal skills/ master the art of interpersonal communication.

    第三段

    --> On the other side of the coin (on the other hand/however 也可以但盡量不要用however開頭), one who hold a part time job may risk compromising their study time for work arrangements. This might affect their grades and thus their future potential interview opportunities.

    contribute to a risk --> contribute 大部份適用在正面的句子, in order to squeeze in --> 太口語化.

    第四段

    --> To sum up (In conclusion), work and study are not necessarily conflicting. In fact, if one is disciplined and possess good time management skills, work and study could be complementing rather than contravening.

    I am of the opinion that... (I am for... ) 1不過盡量不要用 I... conflict 後是句號, In fact 就是新的句子. Budget ㄧ般是用在錢上面. exit 是出口, 應該是exist. compliment 是讚美.

  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

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