蚊子 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

誰可以幫我改英文講稿?

這是我三分鐘的英文講稿~

英文高手可以幫我改一下嗎??

因為是要上台背誦的..我怕文法單字不太對...

麻煩了!!

題目:What I will be like when I’m fifty

When I was a senior high school student, I took time to go to the “Coffee and Taipei”. Afterwards, I totally fell in love with coffee. From then on, I made up my mind to open a coffee shop of my own and to become a popular coffee shopkeeper.

So I decide to participate in an association which is about research and study of coffee to learn the basic of the skills about how to boil a cup of coffee. Also, I go to the coffee shop to practical training how to sell coffee. I know I will do my best to make my dream come true, so, perhaps, my own coffee shop will open in my thirty, or even more early than I participated. If there is not any accident happen, I think when I’m fifty, I will become a successful coffee shopkeeper and my coffee shop’s sign of life and vitality will be very good due to it’s my tactic sales. Sometimes, I will introduce my customers about the history of every kinds of coffee beans, or teach them how to boil a wonderful coffee with fragrance and good taste, just like those celebrities that were on the TV programs or magazines. Sometimes, I will find a comfortable seat sitting down with the coffee I boiled and read the newspaper or listen to the music to spend the time for leisure afternoon. Certainly, when I’m fifty, my working attitude will be more mature. At that time, I guess, I must feel very happiness and contentment.

已更新項目:

“Coffee and Taipei”是台北咖啡節的名字,那如果我要讓別人知道的話..

是不是寫"台北咖啡節"比較恰當呢?那"台北咖啡節"要怎麼用英文表示呢??

1 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    括符內為修正處,去除符號及說明文字可得全文:

    題目:What I will be like when I’m fifty

    When I was a senior high school student, I (went) to the “Coffee and Taipei” (once in a while), ( that made me) (totally love drinking) coffee, (and) from then on, I made up my mind to open a coffee shop of my own and (to 可省略) become a popular coffee shopkeeper.

    (For achieving that goal), I decide to participate in an association which (research and study ) coffee to learn the (basic skills) about how to boil a cup of coffee. (at the same time), I (will ) go to the coffee shop to practical(ly) (train for) (coffee selling), (I know 去除,後面I will 已表達出心裡所想) I will do my best to make my dream come true, so, perhaps, my own coffee shop (can be, 表猜測,will 是確定的口氣) open(ed) in my thirty, or even (earlier,early 比較級非以加more表示) than I participate(d去除,期望不只存於過去,也仍是目前的期望,用現在式), if there is (no) accident happen, I (believe) when I’m fifty, I will become a successful coffee shopkeeper and my coffee shop’s(sign of life and 去除,意思與 vitality 相似) vitality will be very good due to (it’s 去除) my tactic(al) sales, (and) sometimes, I will introduce my customers (about 去除) the history of every kind(s去除,every後加單數) of coffee bean(s去除), or teach them how to boil a wonderful coffee (which) with fragrance and good taste , (showed on the TV programs or magazines just like those celebrities do) ,

    (Now and then , 減少sometimes的使用), I will (sit) down with (a cup of) coffee I boiled and read (the 去除,非限定的不用the) newspaper or listen to (the去除) music to spend (leisure time in ) afternoon, certainly, when I’m fifty, my working attitude will be more mature, (so) , I guess (that) I must (be) very (happy) and (satisfied) (at that time).

    2008-10-09 14:40:04 補充:

    註:

    1. fall in love with someone 和某人共陷情網,是指雙方都掐情網的意思,某人愛咖啡,則是單方的。

    2. 第一段,”我抽時間到咖啡館”,沒說幾次或多頻,很難就如此愛上咖啡。(也許只去了一次)

    2008-10-09 14:40:38 補充:

    3."Coffee and Taipei” 是咖啡館嗎? 是聽眾都知道的嗎?如果不是大家都知道的,不是有名的咖啡館,最好只寫 coffee shop.

    4. I will find a comfortable seat sitting down with the coffee I boiled and read the newspaper or listen to the music to spend the time for leisure afternoon.

    2008-10-09 14:40:54 補充:

    我要找一個舒適的位子坐下來,拿著我煮好的咖啡,看報紙並聽音樂……..

    看這整句,無法分辦出到底是在外面或在自家裡,拿著自煮的咖啡,應是在自家,但卻要尋找座位,又好像在外面的咖啡館,如是在自家建議刪除尋找座位的語句,較容易被他人了解,否則在語句裡也應說明究身在何處。

    2008-10-09 16:08:27 補充:

    修正

    請將now and then 改置於句後

    I will sit down with a cup of coffee I boiled and read (a) newspaper or listen to music to spend leisure time in afternoon (now and then).

    2008-10-11 17:45:40 補充:

    應該查節日訂定單位所給的英文正式名稱,如果沒有 " Taipei Coffee Festival"應可以。

    2008-10-11 18:12:33 補充:

    如是指節日,原句再修正如下:

    (Once) I took time to (visit) the Taipei Coffee Festival ,"Coffee and Taipei" , that made me.............

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