Renny L 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

20點! 急! 文法訂正! grammar errors!!

以下內容就是需要麻煩各位訂正的! 謝謝!!!!!

1. In the story of “Shooting an Elephant”, the author George Orwell was a sub-divisional police officer who hates by the large of people in the Burma, and his situation makes him have these out of the ordinary thoughts. For example, he is not motivated to kill the elephant for the safety of the public, but by his lack of confidence that fears people would laugh him. Orwell was not justified in shooting the elephant because his motivation was deviant. Most people can easily been agitation, and then did something that is obey their original wants.

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2.Finally, the elephant should not deserve died because of its behaviors. Although Orwell has the duty for keeping people away from the danger because that is his job; he cannot shoot an elephant when it looks so peacefulness. He may says that he does not want to take the risk, however, he most likely to forget there is some other way can solve the problem besides shooting. For example, he has the power to ask the crowd leave immediately but he does not. He leave the crowd with him and see how is shoot the powerless elephant. The reason for that is prove he has greatly brave. In fact, that is not really a serious matter for being laugh. And the dead man who killed by elephant was accidently; Orwell cannot use this reason to let himself feel less guilty of murder an elephant. Not only him, rest of people have no definitely justified for killing anything, .

6 個解答

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  • Elisa
    Lv 7
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    I have read the summary of the book. Below is based on the information I obtained to ensure that your usage is accurate in addition to grammar correction. Overall, you need to watch for tense consistency.

    A. In the story of “Shooting an Elephant”, the author George Orwell was a sub-divisional police officer who hated a large group of people in the Burma , as they caused his out of the ordinary behavior. For example, he is not motivated to kill the elephant for the safety of the public, but for the fear that people would laugh at him due to his lack of confidence. Orwell was not justified in shooting the elephant because his motivation was deviant. Most people can easily get agitated, and then do things that betray their original belief.

    B. Finally, the elephant did not deserve to die because of its behavior. Although Orwell had the duty to keep people away from the danger because that is his job, he should not shoot an elephant when it looked so peaceful. He could say that he did not want to take the risk; however, he most likely to forget there were some other ways to solve the problem besides shooting. For example, he had the power to ask the crowd to leave immediately, but he did not. He left the crowd with him to see the shooting of the powerless elephant. The reason for that was to prove his great bravery. In fact, that is really not a serious matter to be afraid of being laugh at. And The dead man (who was) killed by the elephant was an accident; Orwell cannot use this as an excuse to murder an elephant. Not only he, but the rest of the people had no definite justification for killing anything.

    Correction explanation (24): If I cannot get them all listed in the answer, I will provide them in the comment section.

    1. It is okay to use the words "the author” since this was a story told by the author about himself at the time that he was a police officer.

    2008-10-14 12:19:22 補充:

    2. From what I found, he hated the Burmese. However, if you want to say that he was hated by the Burmese, then the correction would be: who was hated by a large group of people in Burma.

    2008-10-14 12:20:15 補充:

    See analysis: For one thing, he extremely hated the Thyestean imperialism. Second, he was furious about the yellow-faced, evil-spirited Burmese. http://www.bookrags.com/essay-2006/1/6/201929/4332

    2008-10-14 12:20:41 補充:

    3. in Burma, not in the Burma. Burma is the name of the country. For example, in Taiwan, not in the Taiwan. In Germany, not in the Germany.

    4. It is not his thinking or thought that is out of the ordinary. It is his behavior.

    2008-10-14 12:21:25 補充:

    5. not … for …, but for ….

    (not for the safety of the public, but for the fear …).

    For example: He did not do this for the love of his people, but for his selfish purpose of becoming a legend.

    2008-10-14 12:22:11 補充:

    6. He is not motivated ….., but for the fear that people would laugh at him… (noun clause)

    7. get agitated, be agitated.

    For example: Something agitates me. I am agitated by something. I get agitated by trivial stuff.

    2008-10-14 12:23:00 補充:

    8. Tense needs to be consistent in a sentence.

    Most people can easily get agitated, and then do things that betray their original belief.

    2008-10-14 12:23:26 補充:

    9. In the story, this elephant did not create any damage as Orwell and the crow arrived at the scene. So, I would say that people always do things out of their ordinary behavior when they get agitated. Hence, “betray” and “belief” would be better words to use here.

    2008-10-14 12:24:29 補充:

    10. If they are different kinds of behaviors, then use plural nouns; otherwise, singular noun.

    See http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/behavior

    11. to keep people away from danger. (do not add “the” unless you want to specify specific danger.)

    2008-10-14 12:25:23 補充:

    12.“because that was his job” is redundant because you have already stated that he had the duty.

    13. Although …. , ….. (Although is a conjunction, so you should use comma instead of semi-colon)

    2008-10-14 12:25:55 補充:

    14. .. , he should not shoot an elephant ….

    “Cannot” means “unable”. He was not unable to shoot an elephant. He was capable of doing that and he did, but he “should not".

    2008-10-14 12:26:39 補充:

    15. An adjective always follows a sense verb or a verb of appearance -- feel, taste, smell, sound, look, appear, and seem -- when it modifies the noun before the verb. For example: He looks calm. He looks peaceful. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/esl/e...

    2008-10-14 12:27:07 補充:

    16. You need a semi-colon before the word “however” to connect the two sentences.

    17. to prove something. For example: to prove his bravery. To prove my sincerity. By the way, he did not shoot the elephant to prove his bravery. He did that not to offend the crowd out of cowardliness.

    2008-10-14 12:27:57 補充:

    18. Since the man was killed, you don’t have to state that he was a dead man. Duplicate words.

    19. words in ( ) can be omitted. The man was killed by the elephant. (passive voice).

    2008-10-14 12:28:24 補充:

    20. use this reason to let himself feel less guilty of murdering an elephant. This is a very wordy phrase. I would suggest changing to “use this as an excuse to murder an elephant”.

    21. not only …, but (also) ...

    2008-10-14 12:28:54 補充:

    22. not only he was not justified in killing anything but also the rest of the people. (he and the rest of the people are the subjects of the verb)

    23. the rest of the people. (you are indicating a specific group of people, so you need to use “the”)

    2008-10-14 12:29:51 補充:

    24. definite justification. Definite is an adjective used to modify the noun “justification”.

    I would suggest changing the sentence to: Not only he, but the rest of the people were not justified in killing anything. (when the noun nearest the verb is plural, the verb should also be plural)

    2008-10-16 05:19:45 補充:

    I just realized that I had two typos. This is it.

    (1) he most likely "forgot" there were some other ways to solve the problem besides shooting.

    => forgot - past tense.

    2008-10-16 05:20:13 補充:

    (2) In fact, that is really not a serious matter to be afraid of being "laughed" at.

    Or you can say:

    In fact, being laughed at is not really a serious matter.

    參考資料: Myself. Went abroad at age 11. With 32 years experience speaking and writing English. Tutored English as an Undergrad. A project manager in the US since 1992., Myself. Went abroad at age 11. With 32 years experience speaking and writing English. Tutored English as an Undergrad. A project manager in the US since 1992.
  • 1 0 年前

    shooting an elephant 我也看過!!!

    不過我是從between worlds 這本書裡面看的!!!

    內容真的是不怎麼吸引人!

  • 1 0 年前

    In the story ,“Shooting an Elephant”, the leading role, George Orwell, was a sub-divisional police officer hated by the most of the inhabitants in Burma. To Orwell, his original thoughts plays a very important part in what he does. For example, the motivation of killing the elephant is not from the consideration for the safety of the public but for the nonconfidence in fearing people's scorn for his weakness. Even so, Orwell is not justified in shooting the elephants. Most people will easily be agitated and do something deviated from the convention to get their original wants.

    Finally, the elephant have done nothing to deserve being shotted. Although it is Orwell's duty to keep the inhabitants from dangers, he can't shoot the elephant in peaceful action. He might has the excuse for not taking the risk of the inhabitants' dangers. However, it may never come to his mind that there would be other better ways to solve the problems except shooting the elephants. For example, he could ask the crowd to leave there immediately. Instead, he leaves the crowd with him for performing how he shoots this helpless elephant, proving his great braveness. In fact, there is no disgrace to Orwell; the man was killed by accident. To Orwell, it can't be taken as a reason for shooting an elephant with a clear conscience. All people, including Orwell, are not legitimate in killing any living beings.

    參考資料: myself
  • 1 0 年前

    請告知下列句子的中文原意

    第一段

    and his situation makes him have these out of the ordinary thoughts

    第二段

    Not only him, rest of people have no definitely justified for killing anything, .

    2008-10-13 12:08:17 補充:

    上列兩句我己理出意思了,不必再說明。

    2008-10-13 12:29:44 補充:

    1. In the story of “Shooting an Elephant”, the (main character) George Orwell was a sub-divisional police officer who (hated) by the (most) of people in the Burma, and (this) situation makes him (desire to make them) out of (their) ordinary thoughts, for example, he is not motivated to kill the elephant for the safety of the public (but lack) of confidence ,(and) fears people would (despise) him, Orwell was not justified in shooting the elephant because his motivation was deviant, Most people can easily been (agitated), and then (do, 講述一件事實應使用現在式) something that ( is 去除,obey是動詞,前不可有be動詞) obey(s) their original (desires).

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    2.Finally, the elephant (was) not deserve (death,deserve後須加名詞或動名詞) (for) its behavior(s去除,此字無複數形),although (because his job), Orwell has the duty for keeping people away from the danger, he (should not) shoot an elephant when it looks so (peaceful,so 後須加形容詞), He may (said) that he (didn’t) want to take (that) risk, however, he (was) most likely to forget there (were) some other way(s) (could) solve the problem besides shooting, (for instance,減少for example的使用), (at that time) he has the (authority) to (evacuate the crowd ) but he (didn’t), He (left) the crowd (stay) with him (to) see how (he shot) the (defenseless) elephant, (proving) he has (great bravery), (but) in fact, that is not really a serious matter (but) being laugh (at), and the (unfortunate) man who killed by (the) elephant was (an accident), (that) Orwell cannot (uses to) let himself feel less guilty of murder(ing) an elephant, not only him, (the) rest of people (will) (not, no = not any後須加名詞) definitely justified for killing anything .

    2008-10-13 12:30:38 補充:

    1. In the story of “Shooting an Elephant”, the main character George Orwell was a sub-divisional police officer who hated by the most of people in the Burma, and this situation makes him desire to make them out of their ordinary thoughts, for example,

    2008-10-13 12:31:16 補充:

    he is not motivated to kill the elephant for the safety of the public but lack of confidence, and fears people would despise him, Orwell was not justified in shooting the elephant because his motivation was deviant,

    2008-10-13 12:31:41 補充:

    most people can easily been agitated, and then do something that obeys their original desires.

    ------

    2.Finally, the elephant was not deserve death for its behavior,although because his job, Orwell has the duty for keeping people away from the danger,

    2008-10-13 12:32:18 補充:

    he should not shoot an elephant when it looks so peaceful, he may said that he didn't want to take that risk, however, he was most likely to forget there were some other ways can solve the problem besides shooting, for instance, at that time he has the authority to evacuate the crowd but he didn't,

    2008-10-13 12:32:51 補充:

    He left the crowd stay with him to see how he shot the defenseless elephant, proving he has great bravery, but in fact, that is not really a serious matter but being laugh at, and the unfortunate man who killed by the elephant was an accident,

    2008-10-13 12:33:02 補充:

    that Orwell cannot uses to let himself feel less guilty of murdering an elephant, not only him, the rest of people will not definitely justified for killing anything .

    2008-10-13 14:28:30 補充:

    第一行 In the story of “Shooting an Elephant”, the author George Orwell

    我不知道完整的故事,不知是否Orwell 是"作者",故做了修改,如是作者,請自行改回。

    2008-10-13 15:58:10 補充:

    修正

    that Orwell cannot uses to let himself feel less guilty of murdering an elephant

    (which) Orwell cannot uses to let himself feel less guilty of murdering an elephant

    因依據文法,that 不可用為非限定之關係代名詞。

    2008-10-13 16:46:31 補充:

    修正下段如下

    although because his job, Orwell (had) the duty for keeping people away from the danger, he should not shoot an elephant when it look(ed) so peaceful,

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  • 1 0 年前

    這是我自己打的文章

  • 1 0 年前

    請問一下~這是幾年級的???怎都看不懂0.0

    還是這是全民英檢或托福的練習題??

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