匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

幫忙改文章 改文法 20 點

please correct my grammers for me. For some weird sentences, please correct them to the more proper waysor more professional ways. THANKS A LOT

Although have not really got into professional finance area, I have

interested in finance related knowledge since 18 years old. When I

still in high school, I started to contact individual stocks. In fact,

before actually got involve with it, I understood nothing about stock

market and refused to learn it. Every time my parents talked about stocks, I felt like listening to foreign languages. However, it gets more and more attractive after I actually put time and money in. Before the

financial catastrophe which flurries the global economy, I had stable

profit in stock market.

Now, the most important thing to me is to position myself to a

learning condition. What we can learn from school is limited; we can

never expect to acquire all the knowledge we need in the future from

textbooks. In fact, I believe that what I have learned from textbooks

and lectures are theoretical concepts, and in order to apply the

knowledge I have learned from school, I need to connect my learning with real world, and what can give me a hand is an internship

opportunity. Moreover, after involving in stock market, I decided to

major in Finance. An internship opportunity would hone my

knowledge and skills on finance area.

In the long term, I would like to work in New York where the most

stock exchange take place. The whole world is facing the most

difficult time- financial crisis of century, and hundreds and thousands employees who work in big companies or investment bank are facing

the worse layoff since the Great Depression; however, as we usually

see in historical data, any plummet of economy would finally recover, just the matter of time. I believe the best investment for now is to

invest in myself. If I increase my ability gradually, I will have more

things to show when chances come.

已更新項目:

It's for my internship essay. The topic is

1 個解答

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  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Is this an application??? or a speach that you ganna use for interviewing? ????

    if it is an god damn important application or interviewing, then i don't think my english will help you....

    First, i will answer this for myself to improve my english, then i have to tell you

    "i am sorry, i can't promise you this answer will work ok?

    Although i haven't reach the professional finance area yet,

    (i dont' really know what you are trying to say here)

    I had being intresting in it since 18 years old,

    (i think you need to add more reasons to persuade people that you are good and familiar with investment)

    When I still in high school, I started to contact individual stocks. ...,,,,. However, it gets more and more attractive after I actually put time and money in.

    I didn't know anything about stock when I was in highschool. My parents were trying to teach me, but everything they said just sounds like foreign languages. That caused me to refuse learing about finace and investment;However It became more atrractive as i actually spend more time and money in them.

    Before the financial catastrophe which flurries the global economy, I had stable profit in stock market.

    Before the world economics crush down, i had stable profit in stock market.

    (you mean you don't have anymore ??should you write more about this ? or say something about what you have now.. not something you don't have. or both? )

    Now, the most important thing to me is to position myself to a

    learning condition. ---------------------------------------------------------------

    knowledge I have learned from school, I need to connect my learning with real world, and what can give me a hand is an internship

    opportunity.

    (你有在學校讀過? just asking, becasue it's kinda contradcting withwhat you have said up there in the first paragraph)

    What we can learn from school is limited; I believe they are the tools and steps for me to be successful. In order to apply those concepts and make a change; I will need an intership opportunity.

    2009-01-16 21:19:59 補充:

    你整篇文章不太通順ㄟ.. 可以跟我說一下大概目的地是甚麼嗎?

    就我對你事情發生的前後順序 搞不清楚>..

    我下面的繼續照翻 上面應該都沒問題

    2009-01-16 21:21:15 補充:

    Moreover, after involving in stock market, . ----------knowledge and skills on finance area.

    (i don't thin you need this anymore, because i changed some)

    2009-01-16 21:22:05 補充:

    In the long term, I would like to work in New York ----------

    One of my goasl is to work in New York (Stock market),是只有new york 還是new york 那個超級重要的stock market?

    2009-01-16 21:23:51 補充:

    The whole world is facing the most difficult time- ------------ I will have more things to show when chances come.

    Base on what i have learned (from historical events), and my own opinion; the best option to face this Great Depression is to invest ourselves, and wait until the ball starts rolling.

    2009-01-17 10:44:24 補充:

    lol ahh

    so it's just an essay?

    haha

    i thought it's something super important : ]

    well, your welcome

    see you around then kkk

    參考資料: i tried hard with my own brain : ], the same, the same, the same, the same
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