Chun 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

急~請達人檢查英文段落寫作

希望有好心的達人們費心一下>"< 檢查以下文章有何錯誤...

如果一看這種文章不能再初級複試及格...也請說一下0.0

謝謝您!!

My father took our entire family on a picnic to go to the Beautiful Mountain by car.

Before arriving at there, we found that we were running out of gas.

Fortunately , we found a gas station.

After driving two hours , we came to a garden in the Beautiful Mountain , whether Mother spread a piece of blue cloth under a tree,and I put food on it.

We sat around eating and sad the wonderful sight.

I was happy to go on the picnic.

4 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    錯誤提醒 :

    * take sb to V--> take my family to go on a picnic

    * arrive at +小地點 (supermarket, library..)

    arrive in +大地點(Taipei, New York, Hawaii...)

    there--> 前面無需加介係詞, arrive there

    * whether: 是否; whether or not:無論如何

    這裡你應該用when 或 after,表示一怎麼樣就怎麼樣

    * sit around--> sit and do nothing, 坐著什麼事都不做,呆坐

    這裡你可改成 We sat on the ground eating and watching the beautiful mountain view

    問題:

    the Beautiful Mountain 是這座山的名字嗎?如果不是不要輕易用大寫喔!

    建議文章修飾如下:

    My father took my family to go picnicking in a beautiful mountain the other day(前幾天). Before we arriving there, we found that we were running out of gas, fortunately, we found a gas station just in time(即時). After driving for two hours, we arrived a picturesque(如圖畫般的) garden. Mother immediately took out the picnic tablecloth and placed it on the ground, we sat together eating and watching the beautiful mountain view. Though I was a little bit tired after the trip, I enjoyed myself to the utmost.(我玩得非常盡興)

    你的問題不大,唯獨辭彙和片語累積的還不夠多,初級複試應該會過,但離過中級還有一段空間要努力!

    加油!

    以上,供您參考!

    2009-04-29 19:46:56 補充:

    Revised:

    *Before arriving there, we found that we were running out of gas,

    *we arrived "at" a picturesque(如圖畫般的) garden

    2009-05-04 18:49:21 補充:

    哈哈~我投錯了...手太快...

    參考資料: 曾任全民英檢中級命題老師的我
  • Elisa
    Lv 7
    1 0 年前

    For the first sentence, you can also rewrite it as:

    My father took our entire family on a picnic to the Beautiful Mountain by car.

  • 1 0 年前

    澍媽媽~首先謝謝您的回答.. 不好意思..這陣子太忙了..為直接選您為最佳答案!

    剛好這星期也考到關於picnic的 您的建議文章修飾有些單字我背下來了,也剛好用的到!!

    句子改寫都應OK~

    不過後還發現...寫作部份一時緊張把所有They寫成Thay了...

    這是第二次考複試了>"<...

  • 1 0 年前

    My father took our entire family on a picnic to the Beautiful Mountain by car.

    Before getting there, we found out that we almost ran out of gas.

    Fortunately, we found a gas station.

    After driving for two hours, we came to a garden in the Beautiful Mountain where Mother placed a piece of blue picnic blanket under the tree and I put food on it.

    We sat around eating and took in the wonderful sight.

    I was happy to go on the picnic with my family.

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