匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請幫忙改錯!!英文作文

Hi Joyce! I'm Angel.

I think a good friend is a person who listens to you and cares for you. They are decent, sincere and encourage us to think positively when there are obstacles and troubles ahead of us and perhaps assist us in pushing them aside. They don't have to be at your side everyday. However, they always lend you a hand when you are lost, desperate and needed.

I have a lot of friends at school and we spend a lot of time together. We share happiness, sorrows and frustrations together and willingly, for example: Irene is my best friend in the school. I will tell her my anything, and we have the same hobbies. I like shopping, play volleyball and talk to my friend, she also too. When I sad, she always stay in my side, let me feel warm; When I cry, she will give me some toilet paper and teach me how to solve the problem.

I believe friends are one of the most important things we come across in life and everyone should at least have a few on which they can rely throughout their lives. So, in order to find and have good friends, we need to also become a good friend of others. Lets outstanding good friend who we become in others mind diligently

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請給點意見八~~

Write an essay about your plan/ambition after graduation in 120 to 150 words.

Tips:

1. What is my ambition?

2. Reasons to do it?

3. The chance of carrying it out.

2 個解答

評分
  • 摸魚
    Lv 5
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    I think a good friend is a person who listens to you and cares for you. They are decent, sincere and encourage us to think positively when there are obstacles and troubles ahead of us and perhaps assist us in pushing them aside. They don't have to be at your side everyday. However, they always lend you a hand when you are lost, desperate and needed.

    1.ahead of 用法怪怪的,若求簡單,可以用in front of 就好了

    2.基本上沒有錯誤,也可以用give you a hand

    I have a lot of friends at school and we spend a lot of time together. We share happiness, sorrows and frustrations together and willingly, for example: Irene is my best friend in the school. I will tell her my anything, and we have the same hobbies. I like shopping, play volleyball and talk to my friend, she also too. When I sad, she always stay in my side, let me feel warm; When I cry, she will give me some toilet paper and teach me how to solve the problem.

    3.前句後面出現了兩個副詞together,willingly,用and連接感覺不好,語意不清楚,建議將willingly移到前面變成

    We willingly share happiness, sorrows and frustrations together.

    4.For example可以用大寫,另外就是之前有老師教我們說不要寫最...怎樣的人,應該也最...的人之一,這也是報章雜誌中文章常有的寫法,中英文都有,改成

    For example, Irene is one of my best friend in the school.

    5.如果是常做的是,可以用現在式,後面my anything怪怪的,沒看過這種寫法,可以anything of mine或anything about me

    6.I like 後面接to V或名詞,所以shopping後面的都改成動名詞,最後一句她也是不能這樣寫,可以寫she does to

    I like shopping, playing volleyball and talking to my friend, and she does too.

    7.sad要加be動詞,待在旁邊用stay by my side,分號用法是小寫,然後句子重新開始,衛生紙是拿來擦淚的,用tissue會更好

    整段修改:

    When I am sad, she always stay by my side, let me feel warm; when I cry, she will give me some tissue and teach me how to solve the problem.

    I believe friends are one of the most important things we come across in life and everyone should at least have a few on which they can rely throughout their lives. So, in order to find and have good friends, we need to also become a good friend of others. Lets outstanding good friend who we become in others mind diligently.

    2009-06-20 16:44:58 補充:

    8.believe後面接名詞,所以後面這一句改型名詞子句加that

    I believe that friends...

    9.副詞also放錯地方了,改成we also need to become

    10.最後一句看不懂,"讓我們"是用let's

    至於最後一篇的作文

    提示已經很清楚了

    照著編號寫三段,文章多穿插一些句子

    應該字數就有到了

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  • 1 0 年前

    我可以幫你改一些文法!

    你把檔案給我吧!

    加我MSN: pockie0404@hotmail.com

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