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alohamg 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請大大幫我修改英文作文

Omelet Rice

My mom is a good cook. Every day, I am expected to the dinner time because she cooks a variety of delicacies for our families. Mostly, I love the omelet rice very much. It impressed me a lot because of the yam’s shape, the fresh smell, and the melt-in-mouth taste.

The omelet rice is twenty times the size of the tuna sushi. There is a piece of egg roll on the top which is the same as the tuna on the rice. we will see about two bowls of rice in it when uncovering the egg roll. Suddenly, the smelly assails my nostrils.

The egg roll smells like the toasted bread. When uncovering the egg roll up, the fried rice smells as the Big Mac. Specially, we have some ketchup on the egg roll. At the time, the smell mingles the toasted bread smell and Big Mac smell with the tomato smell. I couldn’t help but covet and prepare to dine with the spoon.

Immediately, I spoon a spoon with a mouthful of rice and a piece of egg roll. Then, I masticate slowly to enjoy it carefully. At the beginning, a little sour ketchup dances on my tongue. Little by little, I feel the fried rice and egg roll start to knock the teeth to make them more easily swallow. Their fantastic trip is ready to begin.

Omelet rice has impressed me for the specific shape, the fantastic smell, and the amazed taste. Mostly, it has my mom’s affection in it. The impressed food accompanies me through the youth. If I have time, I would like to ask my mom how to make it so delicious.

我這篇是寫有關於最喜歡的食物

我是寫蛋包飯

第一段式蛋包飯有幾種味道的描寫

第二段是描寫視覺的角度

第三段是描寫嗅覺的角度

第四段是描寫嘗起來的角度

第五段總結

請大大

盡量幫我修改

句子及文法有無錯誤

謝謝

已更新項目:

給noizfx大大

1.omelet rice 是蛋包飯沒錯?

蛋皮???egg wrap??

2.第一段最後一句

意思是像番薯的形狀 很新鮮的香味 入口級化的感覺

因為要對偁

一時想不出怎麼搭形容詞+名詞

3.第二段第一句

改成

The egg wrap is twenty times the size of a piece of raw tuna sushi.

他的蛋皮是二十倍的鮪魚生魚片大小

4.下一句

當掀開蛋皮的時候

裡面大約有兩碗多的炒飯

2 個已更新項目:

5.covet是因為我想表達流口水的感覺

準備開動

6.第四段第一句

改成

Spooning up a spoon with a mouthful of rice and a piece of egg wrap, I chewed slowly to enjoy it fully.

不知第四段要不要過去式

因為是再講第一次吃的感覺

7.Little by little這一句

我是想要表達說

食物正要被我用牙齒咀嚼

因為我們老師說要寫生動一點的描寫文

我就寫的有點怪怪的

3 個已更新項目:

8.Their fantastic trip is ready to begin.

寫的有點怪

是要表示

嚐到這美食後

食物即將要下肚

9.Mostly, it has my mom’s affection in it.

不僅僅只有外表 香味 嚐起來的味道

最重要的還包含媽媽的愛心

4 個已更新項目:

10.我把第五段第一句和第三句合併不知可不可以

Omelet rice has attracted me for its specific shape, the fantastic smell, and the amazing taste since I was in childhood.

不能補充寄到我信箱

mike410283@yahoo.com.tw

2 個解答

評分
  • noizfx
    Lv 6
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Omelet Rice

    My mom is a good cook.

    Every day, I am expected to the dinner time because she cooks a variety of delicacies for our families.

    這裡不應該用 expected to dinner

    I look forward to dinner everyday because she cooks delicious meals for our family

    expected to dinner 代表別人預期你會去吃飯而不是你期待去吃飯

    例如 I'm expected to go to the press conference 就代表說「別人期待我會在記者會上出現」

    delicacy 這個字太正式了,不會常用到

    Mostly, I love the omelet rice very much.

    應該是 I love the omelet rice the most 或著 I love the omelet rice very much,不要加 mostly

    It impressed me a lot because of the yam’s shape, the fresh smell, and the melt-in-mouth taste.

    yam?蕃薯?為什麼是蕃薯的形狀?

    impress 也不太好喔,比較像「驚艷」的意思

    直接說 I love it because 就好了

    melt-in-mouth 也有一點…

    and the taste that melts in your mouth 會比較好吧

    The omelet rice is twenty times the size of the tuna sushi.

    There is a piece of egg roll on the top which is the same as the tuna on the rice.

    egg role 是蛋捲?這句的比喻也有一點怪喔

    聽起來像是說「omelet 上有一個跟壽司上面的魚一樣大小的蛋捲」

    你想說的中文是什麼呢?

    We will see about two bowls of rice in it when uncovering the egg roll.

    uncovering the egg roll 也不太對

    這跟之前那一句有關聯,板主也請解釋吧

    Suddenly, the smelly assails my nostrils.

    一般是不會這樣用的啦…而且 smelly 的意思是「臭」喔!

    板主應該是想說 smell 吧~

    Suddenly, the smell travels through my nostrils 好一點

    但是說真的我對這些描述也不太好

    The egg roll smells like the toasted bread.

    這裡形容不需要加 the,the egg roel smells like toasted bread 就好

    但是 egg roll 這一點還是要修改一下?

    When uncovering the egg roll up, the fried rice smells as the Big Mac.

    uncovering the egg roll up 這句還是有 egg roll 的問題

    egg roll 到底是怎麼樣的?掀開有 uncovering 就不需要加 up 了

    Specially, we have some ketchup on the egg roll.

    At that time, the toasted bread small mingles with the big mac smell together with the tomato smell.

    I couldn’t help but covet and prepare to dine with the spoon.

    covet 不太是你想像的用法,covet 比較像渴望

    I couldn't help but

    Immediately, I spoon a spoon with a mouthful of rice and a piece of egg roll.

    I had a spoon 比較好

    Then, I masticate slowly to enjoy it carefully.

    masticate 太像寫動物觀察報告了… carefully 是「小心」

    chew 比較好,chew 就是「咬」

    仔細可以說 thoroughly,但是我不知道這裡適不適合

    待續!

    2009-07-17 15:36:16 補充:

    At the beginning, a little sour ketchup dances on my tongue.

    a little sour ketchup 是想說什麼呢?

    這裡聽起來像是說 ketchup 變成一種生物了

    ketchup 不能數,所以不能用 a

    想說「有一點酸的番茄醬」就是 the slightly-sour ketchup

    或 the ketchup that is a little sour

    2009-07-17 15:36:34 補充:

    Little by little, I feel the fried rice and egg roll start to knock the teeth to make them more easily swallow.

    這裡的中文又是想說什麼呢?

    knock on the teeth to make them more easily-swallowed

    但是在「敲牙齒」這段有一點怪呢…

    Their fantastic trip is ready to begin.

    2009-07-17 15:36:41 補充:

    Omelet rice has impressed me for the specific shape, the fantastic smell, and the amazed taste.

    has attracted me 比較好吧,impress 在這裡不太適合用

    還有是 amazing taste 而不是 amazed taste

    Mostly, it has my mom’s affection in it.

    這句也請說明中文想說什麼吧

    文法是通但意思不太通

    2009-07-17 15:36:52 補充:

    The impressed food accompanies me through the youth. If I have time, I would like to ask my mom how to make it so delicious.

    the impressed food 的意思是「感覺到驚艷的食物」而且是把「食物」當成生物這樣解釋喔,是解說有另外一樣東西讓這個食物很驚艷

    如果是要說這食物讓你有那種感覺的話,要用 impressive

    這裡用 this impressive dish accompanied me throughout my youth比較好,food 也可以啦

    2009-07-17 15:39:50 補充:

    Omelet rice 是蛋包飯嗎?

    是的話,用 egg wrap 會比較好吧,而不是 egg roll,egg roll 就真的像蛋捲了

    板主之前寫得像是說飯上面有一塊蛋而不是蛋包著飯呢

    因為之前寫得是「把它掀起來」,蛋包飯的話就不是掀起來了吧?

    (我沒吃過蛋包飯所以我也不清楚!)

    2009-07-17 16:13:10 補充:

    什麼什麼 wrap 就是「包」的意思

    或者可以說 the (thin layer of) egg wrapped around the rice

    thin layer of 就是「薄薄的一層/片」的意思

    某方面來講,是蛋皮沒有錯啊~

    蕃薯的形狀可以說是 yam-shaped,例如 the yam-shaped omelet

    或者用 yam-like shape 在你的文章裡面會比較順暢

    英文裡倒沒有什麼「入口即化」的說法…

    硬要說的話就改成 melt-in-your-mouth taste 才會比較好

    2009-07-17 16:24:55 補充:

    想要表達要流口水可以說

    I couldn't help but drool and prepare to dig in with the spoon.

    dig in 雖然是「挖」的意思

    但是也是「迫不及待吃多西」的口語

    像是媽媽跟小孩說「可以開始吃冰淇淋了」

    就可以說 start digging in on the ice cream! 這樣

    spooning and spoon 我怕重複用詞

    所以說 filling up a spoon 會比較好?

    意思就是「把湯匙填滿」

    2009-07-17 18:07:37 補充:

    你也可以說

    I feel the fried rice and egg roll start to dance on my teeth to make them more easily swallowed

    Omelet rice has attracted me for its specific shape, the fantastic smell, and the amazing taste since childhood 就好了

    2009-07-17 18:07:40 補充:

    或者如果你想寫說還包含媽媽的愛心你可以改一改說:

    Not only has the omelet rice attracted me with its specific shape, the fantastic smell and the amazing taste, it also has my mother's affection in it.

    參考資料: 外國長大的我
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  • 1 0 年前

    好生動的描寫

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