(20點)請求英文大師幫我檢查我的英文演講稿是否有錯誤!?

求求各位英文好手幫我 檢查我的英文演講稿,演講時間是5分鐘 我自己有製作powerpoint ,我會邊演講邊播放pwerpoint 這是我第一次用英文報告 請幫我檢查我的英文演講稿順暢嗎?   因為我也不太清楚,  我這樣打到底對不對    文法不知道有沒有用錯,  或是單字打錯 因為演講時間是5分鐘,有沒有哪裡需要刪掉的 希望英文大師能夠幫幫我!!~謝謝~ hello everyone today I will put it into two parts, First is The people in my life and second is my... 顯示更多 求求各位英文好手幫我 檢查我的英文演講稿,演講時間是5分鐘

我自己有製作powerpoint ,我會邊演講邊播放pwerpoint

這是我第一次用英文報告

請幫我檢查我的英文演講稿順暢嗎?
 
因為我也不太清楚,  我這樣打到底對不對
  
文法不知道有沒有用錯,  或是單字打錯

因為演講時間是5分鐘,有沒有哪裡需要刪掉的

希望英文大師能夠幫幫我!!~謝謝~

hello everyone

today I will put it into two parts,

First is The people in my life and second is my interests

next I'm introducing the topic is the people in my life

I think all of lifes ups and downs

smiles and tears achivments and disapointments

People, places, and experiences have made me who I am today,

but also a big influence on my life has been the times in which I have lived.

definitely my parents made me what i am today
更新: This is my mom ,she is a typical Leo (她是典型的獅子座)
Her motto is “Belive that you're able to do it”
My mother lives in retirement, but she is a workaholic
(我的母親已經退休了,但是她閒不下來)
So she find a job again. Her job is a Accountant
更新 2: She also taught me that cheating was immoral and wrong.
My mother always put us kids first, she would go without food and stuff
she needed just so us kids would be happy.
更新 3: thats what made her happy.
So with that said i would do the same for my kids,
cause the smile on thier faces makes all the pain and frustrations of life just fade away
更新 4: This is my father, Her job is a Landscape Architecture
My father works hard everyday
My father always tell me " never give up"
更新 5: he teach me how to stand on my own two feet.
he teach me what it is like to be quiet and live within myself without holding my ground and speaking up for what I believe in.
更新 6: This is my sister, She is three years older than me

She is working (他已經在工作-這裡我想說的是她已經不是學生了,而是在上班)

Her job is a electronic operator

Although she sometime quarrel with me (雖然我和她有時候會吵架)
更新 7: but it is not effect the feelings between she and I (但不影響我們的感情)

we are share everything with each other

And the left person is my sister’s boyfriend

It is a coincidence that His birthday is the same with me (很巧的是他的生日跟我同一天)
更新 8: This is my puppy

he is a small and cute man dog

he just like my family, I share everything with he and I like to play around with he
更新 9: next I'm introducing the topic is what i like to do with my free time
In my free time, I like to play with my dog,
because playing with dog can make you feel happy
Having a dog can keep you from feeling lonely or depressed
Having a dog can be a wonderful, rewarding experience
更新 10: Dog is a lovable friends , teach you about responsibility,
This is my puppy dog
He is a boy, his name is the same with the snack
His name is Pocky
I adopted him from lovers when he was a puppy
更新 11: we did everything together. We would even play hide-n-seek together
we are taking fun from he with his naughty figure and action.
No matter what we are go we usually bring he together
he just like my family
He is a housebroken.
He can sit, lay down,handshake and give me five
更新 12: When he want to go piss,he can go to restroom by itself
(當他想要去上廁所的時候,他會自己去廁所)
So I think he is a good boy
更新 13: That is a pocky’s house ,
his toy and his clothes
his clothes is more expensive than me.
an clothing is at least 7 hundred dollars
sometime he just like a chirllden make the mistake and accept punishment
更新 14: someday I go out with my sister ,
when I go home
find he mistake

this is his life photo (生活照)
更新 15: Having a dog means the life and well-being of another living thing is in our hands
Our dog plan to love us forever, and the least we can do is return the favor.
No matter how much we grow, change, or get really busy with stuff,
更新 16: we need to keep a place open in our heart for the animals who depend on us.

So If you want to feed it, don't throw it away

If you love it don’t desert

That's the end of my report,

Thanks for your attention and listen
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