巧克力麵 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

急!!!請幫我檢查這篇文法哪裡有錯誤!!

忙煩各位大大幫我看看哪裡的文法錯誤!! 或是不通暢的!!

請改過的地方用紅色的字標出!! 謝謝!!

題目是: online farming

這是要演講的題目 !! 長度在 4~6分鐘!!

總覺得長度有點不足!! 如果可以請再幫我加上內容!!

因為真的很趕!! 麻煩大家了!!

Online farming

Do you know what is the most popular online game in this year?

That’s right! It’s Facebook. Face book is a website, you can make friends in it. You can do anything just what you want on the Facebook. You can be not only an online farmer, but also steal your friend’s crop.

In Facebook, has a game called happy farmed. In your farm, you can grow plants, keep animal and the most special is you can steal your friend’s crop. The crop is not real, it just a virtual plant so you can steal friend’s crop to sell. Of course, your friends may steal your’s crop,too.

Many people spent a lot of time in it, for they want to steal friend’s vegetable.

Now I’ll introduce pros and cons of Facebook.

The benefits of Facebook. First, Facebook can help us keep in touch with old friends. Although we are not often see each other, but we can chatting on the web. Facebook can shortens the distance between people.

Second, many people play Facebook as a form of relaxation. We can ease our stress by being a happy farmer. Many office workers grow online vegetable in their free time. proper recreation will relieve the tension and discomfort of our monotonous life because it offers you various ways to let out your pent-up emotions.

On the other hand, also has many disadvantage of Facebook. Many students are addiction of the games, leading to the procrastination of their homework. The recreation is important,but now study are the most important for students .

Many students are spending time on Facebook, because they wait to their crop become ripe and they worry about their friend will steal their vegetable.They waste of time to stand by the computer, as a result, their learning are take bad effect.

已更新項目:

因為有字數限制!! 最後一段在這!!!

Finally, we know that Facebook is an interesting online game. It offer us happiness and let our life can be more fun. To play Facebook , we have to know how to make the most of our time and our leisure time.

2 個已更新項目:

In this way, we won’t waste all days. Playing online game can be great, just depend on we how to use. (最後一句) 好煩一直有限制字數= = !!

忙煩大家了!!

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    1.Do you know what is the most popular online game in this year?

    Do you know what is the most popular online game this year.

    加了介系詞 in 是OK 的﹐但通常this year 前是不需要的﹐這也是通常普遍的口語用法。

    2. Face book is a website, you can make friends in it.

    Facebook is a website which you can make friends with.

    網路並不是一個空間﹐介系詞用IN 不太恰當﹐用WITH 就是說 "FACEBOOK 是一個網頁可以讓你透過它來交朋友"

    3. 我不覺得你應該寫 You can do anything just what you want on facebook﹐因為FACEBOOK 真的可以做任何的事嗎? 我覺得你可以說:

    But the good thing and the original purpose offacebook is to connect you with your old friends and network. However, now the online farming game is one of the most popular game from facebook. Besides being an online farmer, you can also steal your friends' crops.

    4. In Facebook, has a game called happy farmed. In your farm, you can grow plants, keep animal and the most special is you can steal your friend’s crop. The crop is not real, it just a virtual plant so you can steal friend’s crop to sell. Of course, your friends may steal your’s crop,too.

    這段我會改成這樣:

    On facebook, there is a game called Happy Farm. On your farm, you can grow plants, keep your naimals and the most special thiing is you can steal crops from your friends' farms. The crops are not real, but they are just virtual plants for growing, stealing and selling. Of course, your friends may steal your crops, too.

    P.S. I gotta go now, but I will come back and finish the rest, sorry.

    2009-10-26 03:46:30 補充:

    The benefits of Facebook are: first, Facebok can help us to keep in touch with old friends. Although we don't see our friends often, we can chat on the web whenever we are on-line. Facebook can shorten the distance among friends.

    are (Be動詞)﹐ 後面see 應加ing形成進行式 (seeing)﹐最好用don't 來完成句子。

    2009-10-26 03:49:53 補充:

    承上: Can 後面用原形動詞 chat﹐不能用chatting

    參考資料: myself/English teacher, myself, myself
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  • 1 0 年前

    無錯誤~至於不通暢的話是還好耶~!$ˇ$

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  • 1 0 年前

    沒錯低!!!!!!!

    就是這樣

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