Dear professor :
My name is ***, I live in Changhua county, I major in Chienkuo University of Technology Department of Information management, I am very interesting to design program, Especially design program of the webpage. I also get much information to know that all the equipment are outstanding and all the professor are high-qualified with much teaching experience through the website of your school and the recommendation of my classmate. I hope that I can have an opportunity to study in National Formosa University Department of Information management in pursuit of further and higher education.
- 1 0 年前最佳解答
My name is XXX. I am very interested in studying in the National Formosa University. Currently, I am studying in Chienkuo Technology University. My major is Information Management. For me, programming is my favor, especially website programming. From the NFU website, I have learned that the equipment in NFU is updated and outstanding which is helpful for my study. With further research in the website, I have noticed that NFU has many experienced professors. Noticing the recommandation from my peers and my research on the website, I wish NFU could give me an offer and take me as an undergraduate student to proceed my study.
1. 文章開頭 需要空2格
2. 你句點跟逗點不會用 句點一定要放在 句子結尾
逗點是連接子句或連接詞用的 不是想加上就加 跟中文作文不一樣
3. 是 " I am very interested" 不是 "I am very interesting"
因為是 "我感覺"喜歡 不是 "讓我"喜歡 所以要用 -ed
4. design program 是錯的 叫做 programming 才對
5. all the equipment "is" 因為 equipment 是不可數 後面用is 不是看"all"來決定
6.是"many" teaching "experiences" experience可數
7. high-qualified 是用字錯誤 換別的字
8. "I also get much information to know " 這地方嚴重錯誤加不順
很明顯中式英文 我改的話 可能改成 "I have learned some information about the equipment....."
9.through the website of your school and the recommendation of my classmate
"from the school website and my classamates" 簡單明瞭又沒錯 你那句實在太廢話 而且 recommendation 不是用在這裡
10. an opportunity to study "Informaiton Management in National Formosa University" 改這樣比較順
11. pursuit好像不能用在這裡 反正從"in persuit..." 開始 有點怪怪的
12. 不是"higher education" 因為都是大學 除非你要讀研究所
13. 剛剛看到了 是all the "professors" 複數
1. 陳述的順序要更改 你的目的>>介紹自己>為什麼有興趣
你一開始不講重點 教授也懶得看你的文章 因為他忙得很 沒時間讀
英文作文 最主要是講重點 不是像中文作文一樣 拐彎抹角
2.文法錯誤非常多 基本也有錯的 有蠻多不通順的地方
3.需不需要用複數 分不清楚 很嚴重的問題
我看了其他回答 根本亂改... 該改都沒改
2009-12-10 16:20:11 補充：
我寫的我沒仔細檢查 可能有錯誤沒看到 不過大致上應該都對
2009-12-10 16:22:14 補充：
反正如果你沒打 要注意參考資料： 自己
- IbLv 41 0 年前
My name is ***, I live in Changhua county, I major in Information Management in Chienkuo University. I am very interested to design programs, especially webpage designing. Through your website as well as recomemdations of my classmates, I am aware that all professors of NFU are highly qualified with many years of teaching experience and not to mention the outstanding equipment and facilities that NFU have. I sincerely hope for an opportunity to pursue my studies in National Formosa University, Department of Infomation Management.
- GeoffreyLv 71 0 年前
Dear professor ,
My name is ***, live in Changhua county. I am now majoring in Technology of Information management in Chienkuo University . Progrmming design, especially those of the webpages,is what interests me most. With recommendation of my classmate and the information on the website of your school ,I found that all your equipments are outstanding and every professor is high-qualified with many teaching experiences. So, hope that I can be one of the students of National Formosa University Department of Information management to pursuit further knowledgements in this field.
2009-12-10 10:54:38 補充：
Typo Correction=>Programming design,參考資料： Geoffery T.
- 1 0 年前
My name is ***, I live in Changhua county. My major is Information management
in Chienkuo University , I am very interested in design program. Especially,
I also get much information from your school website and a mouth to mouth
compliment from classmates that all school facilities are outstanding and professors are high-qualified with many teaching experiences. . I am looking forward to having an opportunity to study in Department of Information management of National Formosa University in pursuit of further and higher education.