匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

英文作文-請幫我檢查錯誤的文法/單字

我們老師叫我們寫一篇Discussion essay, 請幫我檢查有沒有錯的文法或是更好的單字.

如果可能的話也可以多加一些句子, 我還差大約60個字左右@@

謝謝

題目: A company has announced that it wishes to build a factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. At the end of your discussion, indicate whether you support or oppose the factory.

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It is argumentative that whether the construction of a new factory in a community brings more drawbacks or more benefits. For some people, building a factory means better standard of living as people in the community are able to enjoy the actual benefits as well as the fringe benefits brought by the factory. Whereas for others it may not seem to be so beneficial when environmental issues are taken into account.

It is clear that building a factory can cause a number of serious problems to the local community and lifestyle of people. In the first place, factory usually brings pollution to the community. It prone to contaminate air and water by releasing smog and sewage which is not yet filter. Also, it can also cause irritation to the people living in the community as factory tends to create a lot of noises during and after construction. This restless noise may result to hearing difficulty and mental illness of the residents who live near the factory.

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Apart from that, the construction of new factory uglifies the environment. A large area of land needs to be cleared in order to build a factory. This means there will be less grasslands and parks for recreational purposes; thus making the community dull and less lively.

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On the other hand, building up a factory in a community can benefit not only the individuals but also the whole community in a number of ways. Factory construction often enhances the growth of an area by improving its infrastructures and facilities such as roads and bridges. These improvements results to a better quality of life as all residents are able to enjoy them.

已更新項目:

Furthermore, building up a factory also stimulates the economy in a community. There will be more job opportunities available to the villagers both before and after the construction of factory.

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This will boost economy growth of an area and further improves people's standard of living as they now have more income to spend.

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Building a new factory in a community can be a social hazard but it can also bring great advantages to the public. In general,

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I believe that building a new factory brings more benefits than harms in every aspects of life. Pollution and environmental issues can be minimized if proper precautions and cares are taken carefully by the factory operator.

1 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    修正如下,請參考。

    題目: A company has announced that it wished to build a factory near your community. Please discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on event in your community, at the end of your discussion, you should indicate whether you support or oppose the factory that project or not.

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    It is argumentative arguable that whether if (減少whether 的使用) theconstruction of a new factory in a community will brings more drawbacks or more benefits to a community where it will be located near. For some people, building a factory means creating a better standard of living as the people in of the community are will be able to enjoy the actual benefits as well as the fringe benefits that brought by the factory, whereas, for the others, it may not seem to be not so beneficial when the environmental issues are taken into account.

    It is clear that building a factory can cause a number of serious problems influences (因problem 對後面之lifestyle 似不很適用)to the local community and lifestyle of the people, and In the first place, factory usually brings pollution to the community and is prone to contaminate air and water by releasing smog and sewage which is not yet be filtered in advance and will generate pollutions to the community, it can also cause irritations to of the people who live in the community as the factory tends to create a lot of noises during ,even after, it’s construction, this restless noise may result to in hearing difficulty and mental illness of the residents who live near the factory (文至此,為何地居民已很清楚,不必再說明)

    Apart from that, the construction of a new factory will uglify the environment, as for a large area of land needs to should be destroyed and cleared first in order to build a factory, this which means there will be less grasslands and parks for recreational purposes activities of the citizens(for recreational purpose 也是正確,此僅為加長語句); thus it will make the community dull and less lively.

    2010-01-20 18:45:28 補充:

    On the other hand, building a factory near or in (題目裡是”near”) a community can benefit not only the individuals but also the whole community in a number of ways, because factory construction often enhances the growth of an area

    2010-01-20 18:45:40 補充:

    by improving its infrastructures and facilities such as the construction of roads and bridges etc., and these improvements will create a better quality of life to the residents as when they are able to enjoy them.

    2010-01-20 18:49:23 補充:

    Furthermore, building a factory will also stimulate the economy of a community with there will be more job opportunities from the new factory and that will be available to the villagers , when the people have the chance to earn, may be more,

    2010-01-20 18:49:52 補充:

    money from those new jobs, their living standards will be improved, and the economic situation of the community will be boosted also, so a new factory in a community can be a social hazard but it will bring great advantages to the public at the same time.

    2010-01-20 18:51:42 補充:

    In general, I believe that a new factory construction will bring more benefits than harms in every aspects of life of the people who living in the area,

    2010-01-20 18:51:52 補充:

    and the environmental issues like pollution can be minimized if essential precautions, cares and treatments are properly taken by the factory operator (或owner).

    2010-01-20 18:55:29 補充:

    上段"and these improvements will create a better quality of life to the residents as when they are able to enjoy them."之"as"請刪除,只用when (as 也正確,只是改寫,避免一再使用 "as")

    2010-01-20 19:00:27 補充:

    "內容補充"無法顯示出修正情形,故只好將改過的內容直接貼上,無修正說明。

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