匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

幫忙檢查英文文法單字是否有錯誤?

這是要應徵工作時的口頭英文自我介紹, 但可能細節文法還有用句用詞可能不順暢,希望有英文達人幫忙修飾

Good morning. I am very glad to be here for your interview. My Chinese name is XXX, XX years old. I major in Accounting and I will graduate from XXXX University in June, 20XX.

Now, I am trying my best to obtain a key to my first job.

Generally speaking, I am a hard working student especially in doing things in which I am interested. I will try my best to finish it no matter how difficult it is going to be.

My personality is optimistic but I am prudent when doing something. And I get along well with my classmates.

Well, in my leisure time, I like playing basketball, baseball, golf and jogging. In order to acquire physical strength to handle the heavy work, I jog in the campus three times every weeks. And I have already jogged for about one year.

I served as the representative of the class, the cadre members of Student Organization and worked part-time at the same time.During this busy period, I learnt time management, how to prioritize and became more efficient dealing with the tasks that were assigned to me.

I have difficulties in my family. (家中經濟有困難我不太會翻?) Therefore, I hoped very much could be one of your colleague.

Above is my self-introduction. Thank you for your listening.

2 個解答

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  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Good morning. I am very glad to be here for your interview. My Chinese name is XXX, XX years old. I major in Accounting and I will graduate from XXXX University in June, 20XX.

    ※I major in Accounting and will graduate from …..不用有兩個I,因為主詞為同一人

    Now, I am trying my best to obtain a key to my first job.

    Generally speaking, I am a hard working student especially in doing things in which I am interested.

    I will try my best to finish it no matter how difficult it is going to be.

    ※這句是要表達說你未來會把事情做的好還是…我會覺得說I always try my best to finish things no matter how difficult they are. 因為上一句跟這一句有點不搭,你寫的這一句有點像是結尾要講的@@。如果不是,那就no matter how difficult it is就好了,不用going to be。

    My personality is optimistic but I am prudent when doing something. And I get along well with my classmates.

    ※最好不要用but喔!因為but表相反,用and會比較好My personality is optimistic and careful. Moreover, I am an outgoing person, so I get along well with my classmate. moreover表再者。outgoing表外向,careful表細心。如果可以的話,人格可以再描述多一點,比如說shy, charming, energetic, active……

    Well, in my leisure time, I like playing basketball, baseball, golf and jogging. In order to acquire physical strength to handle the heavy work, I jog in the campus three times every weeks. And I have already jogged for about one year.

    ※every week就好了,應該是筆誤喔~下一句的And可以改Till now,…jog前面可以加regularly

    ※最前面可以加上In my work experience,…會比較連貫

    I served as the representative of the class, the cadre members of Student Organization my 可以用 central 如果 cadre 太難

    and worked part-time at the same time.

    ※,and had a part-time job at that time. at the same time是指同時間你在做什麼,通常用配合過去進行式喔。at that time表那時候,否則也可以講確切的時間,什麼時候做什麼工作。

    2010-03-09 17:13:39 補充:

    During this busy period, I learnt time management, how to prioritize and became more efficient dealing with the tasks that were assigned to me.

    2010-03-09 17:13:43 補充:

    ※During this busy period, I learnt how to control the time, how to arrange affairs and how to become more efficient while dealing with the tasks (that were) assigned to me.

    2010-03-09 17:13:54 補充:

    連用how to會比較好是因為coherence(英文寫作裡講的連貫性),至於prioritize我還覺得有點難,用arrange比較簡單也有一樣的意思,dealing前面加上while會比較好,不懂可以看文法書。

    2010-03-09 17:14:06 補充:

    I have difficulties in my family. (家中經濟有困難我不太會翻?)

    可以說 My family have financial difficulties now.

    Therefore, I hoped very much could be one of your colleague.

    ※Therefore, I really really(加強語氣) hope that I could get the chance to work here.

    2010-03-09 17:14:15 補充:

    Above is my self-introduction. Thank you for your listening.

    ※開頭+The會比較好喔!! Thank you就可以了~。

    有些單字可以用比較簡單的喔,在面試的時候應該很緊張吧,簡單的字總會比難的用還要好記的多~加油喔! 某些修改的部面可以參考,但有些一定要改喔^^

    參考資料: my brain~
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  • 1 0 年前

    已修正如下,請參考:

    Good morning, I am very glad to be here for your the interview.

    My Chinese name is XXX, XX years old, I major in Accounting and I will graduate from XXXX University in June, 20XX.

    Now, I am trying my best to obtain a key to my first job.

    Generally speaking, I am a hard-working (或industrious) student especially in doing for (for 就 …..而言,改此字,避免重複使用”in”字) the things in which I am interested. I will always try my best make effort to (改變寫法,避免一再使用”try my best”) finish them(前使用 things,此處配合使用複數) no matter how difficult they are going to be.

    My personality is optimistic but I am prudent when doing something, and I always get along well with my classmates and other people. (get along with someone 意即與某人處得不錯,不必再加well)

    Well, (此well 發語詞於此似多餘)In my leisure time, I like playing basketball, baseball, golf and jogging. In order to acquire physical strength to handle the heavy works, I jog in the campus three times every a weeks, and I have already jogged been doing it (現在完成進行式,動作至目前仍在進行)for about one year.

    I had been serving as the representative of the class, one of the cadre members of Student Organization and worked part-time at the same time, during that busy period, I learnt time management to know how to prioritize and became more efficient in dealing with the tasks that were assigned to me.

    I have There are financial difficulties in my family, therefore so (文章前面尚未使用過” so”字,為使較口語化,先改用此字,後再有同樣情況須用此字時,再使用”therefore”)I hoped very much I can have the opportunity to could be one of your colleague to dedicate myself to the company and help my family in the future..

    Above is my self-introduction. Thank you for your listening.

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