小天 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

關於英文文章 提供些意見

愛能打造生命奇蹟

love can work miracles

growing up,many things didn’t come easily for 24-year-old Jenny Hu of Xinjiang provine, China. Simple activities like speaking clearly, walking and wrting were diffcult, even impossible, due to cerebral palsy. However, her parents’dedication, combined with Jenny’s own determination, proves miracles are possible.

When Jenny was diagnosed with cerebral palsy as an infant, doctors advised her parents to give her up. She’d never care for herself, smile or even recognize her parents, the doctors told them. Why not have another child that would be healthy and would’t take so much effort to raise? Refusing to follow such advice, Jenny’s parents instead focused on helping their daughter become better.Her dad nassaged her stiff muscles daily and prepared her Chinese medicines. Her mom devoted herself to meeting Jenny’s daily needs. Their efforts paid off as Jenny’s health steadily improved. Then one day, Jenny confessed that she was afraid to turn seven. If she still couldn’t walk or write, how could she succeed in school? Thus, Jenny and her parents faced a new challenge.

With a deep sense of responsibility and love, Jenny’s parents never gave up on her. Following in her parents’ footsteps, Jenny someday hopes to help others with disabilities become confident and independent individuals.

請問這樣念起來有2分半嗎? 平常念

還是說需要做些修改? TKS

已更新項目:

阿 第一行打太快Xinjiang province才對

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    Love Can Create Life Miracles

    Unlike most people, growing up didn't come easily for 24-year-old Jenny Hu of Xinjiang province. (我改的比較沒有斷句)(unlike most people 是強調為什麼Jenny 比較特別, 可以省略)

    because of cerebral palsy, simple activities like speaking clearly, walking, and writing were difficult, even impossible. (due to 照美式文法只用在 be 動詞後)

    However, her parents' dedications, combined with Jenny's own determinations, proved that miracles are possible. (動詞時態我是以講述已發生的事, 過去式來寫)

    When Jenny was diagnosed with cerebral palsy as an infant, doctors advised her parents to give up on her. "She'd never be able to take care of herself, smile, or even recognize you as parents," the doctors told them. "Why not have another healthy child, rather than spend so much effort to raise her?"

    Refused to follow such advice, Jenny's parents instead focused on helping their daughter to get better. (get better 通常用在疾病上的好起來, become better 通常只人品, 態度之類的變好, 小小用法差異)

    Her father massaged her stiff muscles daily and prepared her Chinese midicines. Her mother devoted herself to meet Jenny's daily needs. Their efforts paid off as Jenny's health improved steadily . (dad 跟 mom 是口語化的用法, 寫文章上是不正式的) (to meeting -> to meet. to 後面動詞要用原型)

    However, despite the improvement, Jenny confessed one day that she was afraid to turn seven years old. If she still cannot walk or write by then, how can she succeed in school? Thus, Jenny and her parents faced a new challenge. (用however 和 depite 來跟上一句連貫)

    (這裡感覺有點上下文不接/跳文, 但我沒加東西)

    With a deep sense of responsibility and love, Jenny's parents never gave up on her. Following in her parents' footsteps, Jenny hopes to help others with disabilities to become confident and independent individuals.

    寫的不錯喔~~

    我改的比較正式的說法, 還有一些文法跟習慣用法.

    照平常速度念的話, 我想到兩分多鐘差不多.

    給你參考. 希望有幫助.

    參考資料: 我 (美國住12年)
  • 1 0 年前

    恩 也謝謝你囉!

  • 1 0 年前

    寫的不錯喲

    只能給點意見吧。。。呵呵不敢回答

    When Jenny was diagnosed with cerebral palsy as an infant, doctors advised her parents to give her up. She’d never care for herself, smile or even recognize her parents

    to give her up(to give up on her)

    She’d never care for herself (She would never be independent by herself...)

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