? 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

麻煩改英作what makes a good friend

希望可以由英文本科系的人用指考的評分標準幫我做修改,給我各段的建議,結構的部分似乎是我特別弱的地方,麻煩大家囉 :)

題目是:What makes a food friend

A good freind can make an dramtic impact on us in many aspects. In my opinion, a good friends should be considerare and intimate.That is to say, he or she should know exactly how I feel and give me emontinal support() when I am down. He or she should also remember when my big day is and celebare it with me. Furthermore, he or she needs to be intimate with me. By this, I mean that we not only share up and downs in life, but keep each others' company frequently.

I think that a good friend influences us positively. Take my best friend, Megan, for intsance. She stands by me whenever I am in a bad mood, seeing my through those difficult times. She is not good at expressing herself, however, I can still feel her care about me.Even if we are not going to the same school, we are in correspondence every week. Through the letters, both of us have the courage to move on. I'm lucky to meet a freind like Megan. I believe if we are willing to take the intiative in caring about others , we will all be blessed with a blossom freinds.

已更新項目:

我覺得不大有回答到我的問題耶

我是希望幫我檢查結構上有沒有什麼問題或是可以多說明什麼

基本上我是有列大綱的

1.先提出了好朋友的條件 再闡述這些特質

2.第二段舉出例子 我覺得我提到的特質有盡量呼應到前段所提認為重要的特質

然後第二段倒數第二行打錯了 是seeing me through

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    A good friend can have a significant impact on us in various aspects. In my

    opinion, a good friend should be accommodating, considerate, faithful and intimate. A good friend is the one who understands how you feel and will be always there whenever you need a shoulder to cry on or a word of consolation. A good friend always remembers major events in your life and celebrate the occasions with you. Apart from being close to one another, he is also the one whom you find dependable and you can confide in. You share each other's joy and woe and even keep one another company all the time.

    I am convinced(=believe) that a good

    friend influences us positively. Take my best friend, Megan, for

    instance, she is always by my side whenever I am in a bad mood, helping me

    get through those difficult times. She is not very demonstrative(=willing to show your feelings openly), but I know she does care about me and I can feel her affection for me. Even though we are going to different schools soon, we are still in correspondence weekly. Both of us often inspire each other via mail, and with each other's words of encouragement, we muster up the courage to move on. I am fortunate enough to meet such a good friend just like Megan. I believe if we continue to keep in touch and maintain a close relationship with each other on our own initiative, we will be blessed with a deep and lasting friendship in the long run.

    In short, a good company makes a good friend and a true friend makes a lifelong friendship.

    注解:

    1(a) cause/ make an impact on sb

    1(b) have an impact on sb

    2. dramatic (巨大的) 一詞不太恰當,通常意指驚人的巨變,而 significant (重大的) 則正好與語境相符

    3. 籠統地概述某個主題、事物時如果對象是泛指任何人,那麽則應避免使用第一人稱代名詞(譬如第一段概述一般好朋友該具備的條件時),相反地,使用 you 或 one(s) 能使得語境顯得較客觀。

    2010-04-08 16:03:22 補充:

    1(a) 在文法上是錯誤的,1(b) 才是正確的。

    2010-04-08 19:43:54 補充:

    訂正:

    In short, good company makes a good friend...

    參考資料: 自己
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  • 1 0 年前

    為什麼台灣教作文, 都喜歡用 intimate這個字. 此字有性關係的意思在內, 一般有關 friend 請不要intimate這個字. 較難拿捏, 就用 very close 就好.

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  • 1 0 年前

    A good freind can make an dramtic(雖然這個字也有巨大的意思,但是比較偏向戲劇性的巨大轉變的意思,用great impact就OK了) impact on us in many aspects. In my opinion, a good friends should be considerar(t?)e and intimate.That isto say(去掉), he or she should know exactly how I feel and give me emontinal support() when I am down(改成I feel down會比be V好,因為I am down可以有其他類似往下的解釋) . He or she should also remember when my big day is and celebare it with me. Furthermore, he or she needs to be intimate with me. By this, I mean that we not only share up and downs in life, but keep each others' company frequently.

    I think that a good friend influences us positively. Take my best friend, Megan,(考試請盡量避免人名) for intsance. She stands by me whenever I am in a bad mood, seeing my through those difficult times. She is not good at expressing herself, however, I can still feel her care about me.Even if we are not going to the same school, we are in correspondence every week. Through the letters, both of us have the courage to move on. I'm lucky to meet a freind like Megan. I believe if we are willing to take the intiative in caring about others , we will all be blessed with a blossom freinds.

    開始寫作文前首要之事就是擬好大綱,看見一個題目,先想清楚題目的意思,"What makes a good friend,什麼才是好朋友?"

    再來根據你推出來的意思思考,想寫些什麼?

    1.好朋友的條件:considerate, intimate

    2.舉例子:Megan

    3.其他:其他人的看法?可以用的名言?

    該有的元素都差不多之後就可以開始擬定大綱

    根據現有的元素搭配起承轉合,你要怎麼寫一篇你自己的作文?這是你自己發揮的地方,仔細思考並且在題本上稍做模擬(題本是可以亂寫的知道吼?不要白白浪費了///另外,寫大綱是絕對有益,不管怎麼樣都比寫到一半狂擦立可白好上太多,不過也請小心時間,千萬不要擬過頭了,所謂大綱就是大概綱要,有個譜就好,時間寶貴哪=口=)

    ♥小撇步

    英文切記一段講一個idea,萬萬不可說A提C的(就我剛剛給的那些,第一段可以寫前言→好友的條件,第二段條件→considerate, intimate,第三段結論,舉好朋友做例子。)

    條列式說明有個東西很好用:first, second, third.....finally

    作文說實在的就是一個FU而已,今天給你的題目如果能讓你文思泉湧你也不會說你作文不好,雖然勤加練習是必要的,初一十五可能也要記得吃素拜佛XD

    考試加油!:D

    參考資料: 我,英語系的
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