關於以下文章,想請各位幫忙修正

Surfing internet is a common thing which most people do everyday. The different types of web are full of diverse commercialism. Some people don' like ad and ignore it, _however_, others may feel curious and browse it. When we start the IE and enter the homepage like Yahoo or PChome, we can see a lot of... 顯示更多 Surfing internet is a common thing which most people do everyday. The different types of web are full of diverse commercialism. Some people don' like ad and ignore it, _however_, others may feel curious and browse it. When we start the IE and enter the homepage like Yahoo or PChome, we can see a lot of advertisement which propagandize for games, activities, goods and so on. _According to_ these commercialisms, people are often attracted by the item which they interest and browse the subject. Most large web has sponsors,and it will propagandize their goods by commercialisms._ On the other hand_, some webs don't have sponsors, they have enough fund to work their server.
Some people complain that the commercialism is too much in the internet. _In contrast_,some people need to propagandize the item for their business. _Although_the internet are full of commercialisms, we can just notice the one we interest.

請問是否有何處用字不當或是不順,麻煩請給小弟點意見吧!
或者有更好的寫法也請指教!
1 個解答 1