angel 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 10 年前

想請英文高手幫我看我的英文履歷是否要修改

My name is Wendy. I am graduate from HUNGKUANG University and major in Threpsology. There are two people in my family. My husband works in a bank. And I have a 1 year-old child.

  No matter is ordinary and the friend is together, when perhaps school group activities, I am often playing a coordinator's role. I am interested to myself the work always positively to invest, once the decision participates in any business, certainly will try to coordinate to be responsible. From many work experiences, I also discovered the one cooperates the human is very big to my influence. Therefore, how I have learned and the different individuality person is together, understood that this world is composed of the person of all forms, also therefore has the pleasure, and has the challenging by chance, and can contact with the human work. How to observe others, including with the enterprise is even the industry personally, analyzes behind each behavior ponder logic and the reason, was in the past most trainings which did to oneself, I also truly obtained many.

  To future profession plan aspect, at present I most will long for accept a bigger challenge, will obtain the multiplex practice experience, if because will not have actually will attempt, really to go about something with a free hand, only will be forever is being an armchair strategist, will not understand the market true need the thing. But my final occupation plan goal, becomes a super clerk, raises oneself specialty and ability, and the company creates more achievements for one, achieves company's operation objectives.

I am optimistic and active, and I am confident that I can pass the test. Thank you for your precious to read my autobiography.

5 個解答

評分
  • 10 年前
    最佳解答

    我的名字是Wendy。 我從Threpsology的HUNGKUANG大學和少校是畢業生。 有我家的二個人。 我的丈夫在銀行中工作。 並且我有一個1歲孩子。  問題不是普通的,並且朋友一起是,或許,當學校分组活动,我經常播放coordinator'时; s角色。 我總是肯定地感興趣給我自己投資的工作,一旦決定参加所有事務,一定將设法協調是負責任的。 從許多工作经验,我也發現那個合作人是非常大的對我的影響。 所以,我怎麼學會了,並且另外個性人一起是,瞭解因此這個世界由所有形式的人組成,也有樂趣,並且有偶然挑戰,和能與人的工作接触。 如何觀察其他,包括有企業是個人甚而產業,在每行為之後分析考慮邏輯,並且原因,是從前做對自己的多数訓練,我真實地也獲得了許多。  對未來行業計劃方面,我多數當前將渴望接受大挑战,將獲得複合實踐經驗,如果,因為實際上不會有將試圖,慷慨地真正地去某事,只有永遠將是扶手椅子戰略家,不會瞭解市场真實的需要事。 但是我最後的職業計劃目標,适合一名超級幹事,培養自己專業和能力,並且公司創造一個的更多成就,達到company' s操作宗旨。我是樂觀和活跃的,並且我確信我可以通过測試。 谢谢您珍貴讀我的自傳。

    參考資料: 自己
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  • 10 年前

    如有不符合原意處,請自行修正。

    My name is Wendy. I am graduated from Hung Kuang University and majored in Threpsology. There are two three people in my family, my husband who working in a bank, and I have and my a 1 year-old child.

      No matter is when ordinary days and or staying with the friends is together, when perhaps if school group held activities, I am often always played a role of coordinator's role. I am interested to in myself the work and always positively to invest in myself, I once made the decision to participates in any business to take the responsibility certainly will try to be a coordinator to be responsible. From many work experiences, I also discovered the one cooperations of the human people is were influenced much by my coordination very big to my influence. Therefore, how depending on what I have learned and the experiences of staying with different people individuality person is together, I understood that this world is composed of every kinds of the persons of all forms, so I also therefore has took the pleasure of the work  and chances to face has the challenging by chance, and can to enhance my skill of contacting with the people human work, how to observe the others even including with the enterprises is even the industry personally, analyzing behind each person’s behavior and his\her ponder logic of thought and the reason, was were the training that often be done to myself in the past most trainings which did to oneself, and I also truly obtained many experiences.

      To For the future professional plan aspect, at present, I most will very long for accept a bigger challenge, will to obtain the multiplex practicing experiences, I will attempt to get more chances and go about them. if because will not have actually will attempt, really to go about something with a free hand, then, I hope I can be a leading  only will be forever is being an armchairstrategist forever in the future,

    2010-06-03 11:42:10 補充:

    續前

    I understand the market truly needs the services of coordination, but my final occupation goal is being a super clerk to raise my own specialty and ability, and get a job from a company which creates more opportunities for

    2010-06-03 11:42:26 補充:

    employees to achieve the company's operation object.

    I am optimistic , active and confident, I believe I am very qualified to the job. Thank you for taking precious time to read my autobiography

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  • Lack of formality in writing and style..

    就Resume或CV而言

    很抱歉 這是不及格的

    沒有批評你的意思

    抱歉 你大概是先中後英吧 也就是先寫中文內容再翻成英文

    要仔細改恐怕要全改...

    不如我提出一些看法 讓你參考參考

    例:I am graduate from HUNGKUANG University and major in Threpsology.

    1.I gradute...刪去am

    2.HungKuang 不用全大寫

    3.不要用and 去接

    例: There are two people in my family. My husband works in a bank. And I have a 1 year-old child.

    1. 這樣算來應該是3個人吧!?

    2. 請不要常離題 你既然說到了家人 不要馬上跳到丈夫是做什麼的 (關聯性很重要)

    3.那個AND是沒有必要的,文法

    例: No matter is ordinary and the friend is together, when perhaps school group activities, I am often playing a coordinator's role.

    我知道你想說的是你常扮演協調的角色

    但句子問題很多 英文沒辦法像中文 逗點不能這樣 還有句子本身接太長亦不完全

    例: I am interested to myself the work always positively to invest, once the decision participates in any business, certainly will try to coordinate to be responsible.

    老外100%看不懂 中式英文

    把想表達的用小句子寫下 在想想怎麼去組

    例: From many work experiences, I also discovered the one cooperates the human is very big to my influence.

    1. 用previous working experience

    2. Also 在這沒有任何意義

    3. human 改people

    4. 前面無法看懂你要說什麼. 後面我知道你想說對你影響很大 但注意文法

    XXXXXX has significantly influenced 或....

    例: To future profession plan aspect, at present I most will long for accept a bigger challenge, will obtain the multiplex practice experience, if because will not have actually will attempt, really to go about something with a free hand, only will be forever is being an armchair strategist, will not understand the market true need the thing.

    1. 不要開頭就to (我知道你要說對未來的展望...)

    2. 不要把逗點當中文逗點用..未免逗太多..句子不是這樣接的

    3. 連接詞好好利用 把上面的改一改

    4. if because will not have actually will...!!!!!!!?????這...?

    5. 不要主 動詞不分 不要拼命的把動詞疊上去

    文法錯誤 每一段 每一句

    除了My name is Wendy. 外

    文法都是錯的

    所以 請先把文法錯誤改正吧

    2010-06-03 20:17:01 補充:

    still...not quite..

    The major problem is grammar..

    then is the format..

    then consider the proper "tone"...

    It simply has too many major issues to deal with...

    參考資料: 參考
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  • 老登
    Lv 7
    10 年前

    不是很看得懂ㄝ,不好改! 試試看中翻英.

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